This is a Premium feature
Cat Saga #5000 - Finally Admitting Defeat(5 Posts)
Many previous posts about my cat dramas and I'm now at the end of my tether. Long post so apologies in advance.
DP has said he really thinks we need to re-home Kevin and I am devastated.
Kevin is a big chunky boy cat (neutered) who we got at the same time, from the same RSPCA pen (not brother/sister but were in the pen together for months and were told they got on very well), as Jaffa, small petite tortie who we were told was neutered but wasn't. Kevin went outside first because he was tearing the house to bits and Jaffa had a problem with her foot so had a cone on for 6 weeks. As such, Kevin claimed the garden as "his". Jaffa started going out around Christmas time, didn't seem to like it but we wanted her to get used to going out and tried to alternate the times they went out as Kevin would chase her and attack her in the garden. Kevin had also started chasing and attacking her in the house. We would separate, clap at them, throw treats and toys but he was like a dog with a bone and wouldn't leave her alone. We tried separating for 2 weeks and slowly reintroducing but it didn't work. Got a feliway diffuser and that did sod all.
Around February Jaffa was getting fatter and when we took her to the vet we were told she was pregnant and the RSPCA had made a mistake with neutering her. We assumed Kevin had been so aggressive to her because he could smell when she was on heat etc. 3 kittens popped out a week later. We kept Jaffa and Kevin separate the entire time after finding out she was pregnant because we didn't want him attacking her, and obviously had to keep her inside to stop her getting pregnant again. When the kittens were around 4 weeks old, Kevin realised which room they were in and started spraying against the door. He then started spraying in other areas of the house, hissing viciously at us and we eventually ended up putting him outside and he would only come in for food in the kitchen.
2 of the kittens went to their new homes but we couldn't find a home for the third and have kept her. Jaffa has now been spayed and is going outside again. Kevin will not stop chasing her. I've watched as he's chased her into the road, into next doors garden who have three big dogs and he just stalks her constantly. She will swat at him but always turns to run and he always chases. We tried slow introductions in the house before we let Jaffa outside again, always giving them tasty food when being introduced but nothing is working. We held Pearl (the kitten) and did a very brief intro to Kevin and he just hissed, sprayed on the brand new carpet and ran off.
Since we got Kevin we've not had any proper routine for him because of all the absolute fucking faff with Jaffa being on heat and pregnant and now the sodding kitten being here. He loathes the house and it's impossible to get him to spend any time in it. We shut Pearl away but she meows her head off which sets him on edge and he just wants to go back outside.
He is lovely on his own. He gives you head bumps and purrs and is generally hilarious. But he's obviously miserable with the current living situation and he never comes in the house. Jaffa wants to go outside but is just constantly harrassed and I am terrified he will eventually chase her into an oncoming car, or he'll get her and seriously injure her. She never does anything to him first, he is always the instigator.
I have to re-home him don't I? I was livid and crying my eyes our when DP said we should re-home him but I'm being selfish just wanting to keep him. Is there anything else I can try? I cannot afford a behaviour therapist and I'm not convinced they'd work for a cat anyway. I think the hardest part is knowing we haven't done everything properly from the start and it's really not Kevin's fault he's become so territorial and aggressive and I just feel so guilty. I'm also mad at the RSPCA because I don't know if he'd have been so aggressive if she'd been neutered. But maybe it was our fault for putting him outside first when she had her foot injury so he has always thought of the garden as his. He doesn't mind other neighbourhood cats though. It's just her.
Moan over. Any advice appreciated.
Yes you have to rehome him. But don't blame yourself! You haven't done anything wrong at all and all the routines in the world probably wouldn't have prevented this situation. It's just a personality thing.
And if all the cats and you are miserable I can't see a choice. Will the RSPCA help with rehoming?
Thanks, I do know deep down it's for the best. The thought of him going back into a cattery and being left for months and months and no one wanting him makes me feel sick though, or someone getting him and he becomes aggressive and they don't have any patience and hurt him or something. But I know that it's way more likely someone lovely would get him and give him a good home. I'm going to call on Monday and see if we can keep him here while they find him a new home
I've gone through exactly the same thing recently and I felt the same as you. But it all worked out better than I could have hoped and the cat who was rehomed seems to be very happy (the new owners send updates) and all the other cats in my house are now less stressed and so am I.
That's the thing as well, it's just so stressful trying to manage them all and constantly closing doors and anxiously watching them to make sure no one is getting hurt or peeing on brand new furniture/carpets. And it's unfair for the other two to be constantly attacked, I would feel awful if they ended up with long term issues because they're so frightened of him.
Please login first.