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The litter tray

When to get a new cat

19 replies

Bellabonkers · 10/11/2018 11:01

Sadly my fluffy little girl had to be put to sleep 6 weeks ago.
She had developed a large mass in her abdomen but showed no signs of pain until the morning I took her to the vets.
I had her for 11 years from a rescue centre and she was 2 when I got her.

To say I've been heartbroken is an understatement but I keep reminding myself how blessed I was to have such a close bond with her.
I allowed her to pass with dignity and would not have let her suffer no matter how devastating it was to say goodbye.

I will never replace her but feel like she would want me to give a loving home to another fellow feline.
I just feel guilt that I should not get another cat too soon in respect to her.

Am I being stupid. I've never lost a pet before and it's so hard.

OP posts:
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Ineedabiscuit · 10/11/2018 11:18

I am so sorry to hear your beloved pet had to be pts , it is heartbreaking I know .
Please take care, you have a lot of love to give so maybe soon you’ll be ready to adopt another cat- who will never replace the one lost- but it will be new cat for you to love .Flowers

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PinkSparklyPussyCat · 10/11/2018 11:22

I'm sorry for your loss.

I don't think there's a right time, everyone is different. My Uncle lost his cat and has never got another one. My Mum lost hers, swore she'd never have another and tried to give me everything cat related. This was on Tuesday, on Thursday I was registering with Battersea and on Saturday we were collecting George as she couldn't bear the cat shaped hole.

You never replace them, I like to think you are giving another cat the opportunity of a loving home.

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ScreamingValenta · 10/11/2018 11:24

I started looking at rescue cats within days of my old girl being PTS a few years ago. I didn't see it as replacing her, but as filling the cat-shaped hole in my house. As biscuit says above, another cat is a new cat to love. There is no right or wrong timescale - it's what feels best for you. Flowers

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Toddlerteaplease · 10/11/2018 11:31

I was going to wait to see how Snorg settled. But the right cat cake along and I adopted her 10 days later. It's gone really well. Snorg much happier and is allowed to be the top cat. She'll never replace Fatty and I miss her terribly. But she's helped fill the gap she left.

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Toddlerteaplease · 10/11/2018 11:32

Ps. Had she not been the right cat I'd have waited.

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ScreamingValenta · 10/11/2018 11:38

I thought of Cheddar and Snorg straight away when I read the OP's question, Toddler!

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Bellabonkers · 10/11/2018 11:42

Thanks everyone for the replies.
I think I will start researching my local rescue centres.
Even writing this post made me have a good cry but I've let out a lot of emotion.

Belle will probably be looking down saying seriously mum get a grip now.
She had that look sometimes..why are you so daft?

Thanks again

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Vinorosso74 · 10/11/2018 12:12

It's when you feel ready. The fact you're thinking about it seems like the right time but don't rush it.
We had our old girl PTS just over a year ago and adopted our new lad mid January this year. I did fall in love with a little girl cat when I was doing my CP shift but as we were away over the holidays it wasn't fair on her and I think deep down that was a bit too soon for me-that was about a month after.
Sorry about your fluffy girl Flowers

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Toddlerteaplease · 10/11/2018 12:24

Op, I'm sure Fatty looks down on me and thinks the same. Sounds stupid but Cheddar sometimes does things that make me think she was sent by Fatty. Ridiculous I know, and I am the least likely person to think things like that. Getting Fatty and Snorg felt like fate and the same happened with Cheddar.

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viccat · 10/11/2018 13:28

The next cat is never a replacement but if you're a cat person (as you clearly are) and have love and resources to give to another cat, then whenever feels right is the right time.

Sorry for your loss.

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recklessruby · 13/11/2018 14:24

Sorry for your loss. When I lost my cat Rubber Ruby in a car accident I was heartbroken and my older cat was grieving.
Wasn't thinking about another cat but a few weeks later a young tabby almost the same as Ruby showed up, not microchipped, nobody came forward to claim her so she's my new baby Ellie. She's not ruby s replacement as she has her own little personality but I really love her and couldn't turn her away. She appeared at just the right time.
I think you will know the right time and the right cat when it happens.

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buckingfrolicks · 14/11/2018 23:20

I like to think my old cat would want me to be happy!!

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AnnaMagnani · 15/11/2018 08:12

For me it was within days. I couldn't bear being a one cat family instead of a two cat family.

The next weekend we were at the rescue centre and had signed up for 2 kittens.

We miss tabby cat and talk about her and they haven't replaced her, but the pain was unbearable and the kittens definitely kept us busy!

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SoupDragon · 15/11/2018 08:30

I lost my cat at the start of July. Our new kittens arrive today.

I started to look at the pictures of kittens on the rescue websites and started out with tears in my eyes and eventually got to the point where I thought "yes, I'm ready."

There's no right or wrong time.

Flowers

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retainertrainer · 16/11/2018 08:17

I’m so sorry for your loss.

We’ve just adopted 2 kittens and I can only advise to start looking as soon as you possibly can. There’s so many beautiful cats stuck in these rescues,many of them housed outside and with the weather turning cold it breaks my heart for them.

You know all this of course and I hope that doesn’t sound like a guilt trip but just imagine Christmas with one of those kitties curled up in the warm. How lucky you’d both be.

I’m still so sad over our loss but the kittens have been a wonderful distraction and the house feels ‘right’ again.

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HardAsSnails · 16/11/2018 17:54

So sorry Flowers

For me it was less than a week last time, I think I visited the blue cross 2 days after LastCat was PTS, cried while there until I met our now old boy who made me laugh. I really couldn't bear not having a feline presence in the house at all.

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CanYouHearThePeopleSing · 16/11/2018 18:09

Sorry about your girl. Such a sad time.

We let our lovely 17yr old go at the start of November last year. She'd been given only days to live by the vet in Feb, so she had a pretty impressive last few months. I think I did all my grieving before she went though - I cried most days I think. We knew we would let her go the minute there was any hint that it was time, but she just kept going!
We always knew we would offer another rescue a home, but thought we'd wait a while. The house just wasn't right without a cat though, and we realised it would be good to have one before xmas, as we'd be around a lot, to keep it company.

We visited a few rescues, resisted the urge to get a kitten, and by early Dec we were sharing our home with a lovely 3yr old who had a tough start in life. She's not a replacement, she's established a different set of rules for how to own us!

If you're thinking about it, there's no harm at all in seeing who's out there looking for a home. When you meet the right cat, you'll know.

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Toddlerteaplease · 16/11/2018 18:41

It's very bizarre when my new girl Cheddar does things that Fatty used to do. In someways she's more like her than Snorg is. Although she's. Nowhere near as bossy or such a diva!

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MrsBobBlackadder · 16/11/2018 18:49

Sorry for your loss Thanks

We had our beloved old boy PTS back in the summer. We have two other cats but I started looking for another straight away - I just couldn't bear the cat-shaped hole in the house. It broke my heart.

10 days later we collected the beautiful six month kitten who is currently beside me as I type this.

He is a joy and we love him as much as our previous cat - but that doesn't mean we love the departed one any less now. I miss him dreadfully - I still feel as though I've been kicked in the stomach when I think of saying goodbye to him - but am glad that I've had two such wonderful animals in my life (plus our other two, who I also adore!). There's so much love for all of them 😍

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