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Can I help my cats get along better?

(10 Posts)
RedPandaFluff Fri 09-Nov-18 13:43:18

I have two Maine Coons, a male and a female, unrelated but both almost four years old. I've had them since they were twelve weeks, they're both neutered, and they're indoor cats.

Sadly, even though they've been together since they were young, they don't cuddle up together or groom each other. At best, they tolerate each other - occasionally they'll both sleep on our bed, but never touching. They're individually very affectionate with me so it's a bit of a timeshare arrangement for my lap. Once every now and again they'll play together, but inevitably it quickly gets rough and the boy is much bigger than the girl so she ends up screeching as if she's being murdered (she's not, she's just a drama queen).

I have Feliway plugins, they have separate beds, litter trays, food and water bowls, and they seem happy enough. But I'd love them to love each other! It would be nice if they cuddled up when I'm away, so it's not just the cat sitter that gives them affection.

Is it too late? Can I do anything to make them closer and happier?

OP’s posts: |
OldSpeclkledHen Fri 09-Nov-18 13:53:10

It sounds like you doing everything right but just some cats are just better off on their own. Sorry to say.

My DP fostered a family members ginger boy (he already has 3 cats whom just tolerate each other) whilst they were out the country ....

Ginger absolutely hated it, and bullied the original three cats no end. Unfortunately he was killed on the road - so sad. But he just needed to be an only cat.

As long as your two can tolerate each other, and they each have their own space/places to get up high on, then I don't think you can expect much more. Cats are generally solitary creatures.

Toddlerteaplease Fri 09-Nov-18 15:10:42

Mu two sisters were like this. I was told they were inseparable while in rescue and slept entwined. But once we got home, they behaved in the way you describe. Not much actual hostility but no love. The only exception was at the cattery and the vets. However when Fatty took her final trip to the vets, I also took Snorg to comfort her and she was brilliant. It was so perfect for Fatty to have her sister there.
Snorg has blossomed since she died, and gets on well with my new cat. I think I'm time they may become good friends. Snorg is very protective of her.

lyinginthesundrinkingbubbles Fri 09-Nov-18 15:17:17

I'm an experienced MC owner. Never had a pair that didn't love each other and sleep together.
Are they neutered? I've always had boys though and have heard they get on better.
Here are mine- stealth boast!

LuckyKitty13 Fri 09-Nov-18 15:23:18

Have a look on the international cat care website (icc) for lots of behavioural information (and medical too). It used to be called FAB cats. Lots of tips on there! But agree some cats just prefer to be alone. They are solitary by nature but most will learn to enjoy a feline friend!

Mich0027 Fri 09-Nov-18 15:30:49

I have 2 MC crosses both neutered males raised together since they were 12 weeks old. They're now 16 years old and unfortunately this is still my life 😩 sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear. I stupidly added another cat into the mix about 6 years ago so now I have 3 who tolerate one another at best!! Aren't MCs just the best though

RedPandaFluff Fri 09-Nov-18 16:02:46

Aww @lyinginthesundrinkingbubbles they're beautiful! I do think Maine Coons are awesome cats 

Yes, they're both neutered, and they don't actively dislike each other, it's more they ignore each other. I'll have a look at that site, @LuckyKitty13 thank you.

Sometimes I feel really guilty because I got two thinking they'd be company for each other when I need to go into the office. But actually I think both of them would prefer to be the only cat.

I'm wondering if letting them out might help? We're moving to a more rural location in January and I'm considering letting them go outside (after a lengthy settling in period, of course!)

OP’s posts: |
Mich0027 Fri 09-Nov-18 17:22:13

@RedPandaFluff mine have always gone out and I live in a rural location with no roads. Be prepared for the hunting mine bring full grown rabbits, (sometimes live) through the catflap 😂. They go out a lot less now they're old men but being outside never made them get along any better

RedPandaFluff Fri 09-Nov-18 18:24:01

Nooooooo @Mich0027 😱

I can handle mice, frogs etc. but rabbits?! What do you do if they're still alive?!

OP’s posts: |
Mich0027 Sat 10-Nov-18 10:31:53

@RedPandaFluff if they're alive they're usually bouncing about the house so I catch them and put them out. I put my marigolds on it must be a sight haha. More often than not they've eaten the majority although it's been known that I've found a stray rabbit foot under the sofa 🤢

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