Struggling to bond

[CharlieGirl81]

CharlieGirl81

I would really appreciate any advice and support. I recently adopted a 2 year old cat. She’s still very young and playful and so I expected it to be different from my last cat. However, three days in and I am really finding it difficult to bond with her. She bites a lot and is not at all interested in sitting near me or being stroked. Do I just need to give it more time? She has not had a traumatic background but has perhaps not had as much attention as I would have given her.

I am worried that I have done this too soon after losing my last Cat (who was very gentle and special to me). I thought I was ready but am really struggling now with a cat who seems uninterested and bites often when I try to stroke her.

Do I persevere? She is sweet in many ways but just doesn’t seem to like me..

[crazycatguy]

Cats take their time to adapt to their new situation. Right now, your home and the people in it are strange and stressful.

She will make the moves when she is ready. She will recognise you as a source of food and clean trays reasonably soon and things will build from there.

They're quite sensitive creatures - she will be the queen of your house by October!

[Middlrm]

I think cats move At their own pace and also very much have their own personalities. Your cat may never be the cuddly type. We adopted a stray march this year ( no chip we checked ) he would badly come near us for months and stillrunds like I have grown horns on occasion but has learnt to love cuddles over time and is currently curled up at my feet. I think time is key, not to push them but to spend a short period of time showing them how wonderful a stroke can be by using treats or play to get them close but always you finish the session rather than the cat ... so only stroke for 5 mins to so ... kitten may not know affection is all x x or know how wonderful a cuddle can be x x

[Middlrm]

Apologies for terrible typing

[CharlieGirl81]

Thank you - I really appreciate the replies. I am perhaps just rushing it a bit and need to give her more time. I think I am just struggling because I have dealt with nervous cats before, but this sweet little thing is quite confident but just doesn’t seem interested in me

[CharlieGirl81]

I am also a bit angry that her last owners didn’t spay her so she had kittens a few months ago. Not only was she very young, but she is also to tiny and it must have been tough. So I really want to give her a happy home.

[CharlieGirl81]

*so tiny

[Broken11Girl]

Stop hassling her for strokes. She will have given clear 'back off' signals well before biting. Leave her alone and let her come to you. She will eventually - it's been 3 days.

[viccat]

I would keep to a "hands off" approach for now. Ideally she should be in just one room of your home for now, and you should spend regular time with her but just sit there in her presence or play with her (those fishing rod type toys are ideal for this) but don't try to approach or touch her.

Cats do take a while to adjust to a new home and as others have said, maybe she's not the cuddly type. She might be, though, in her own time - my semi feral boy now comes up for snuggles every day but had a very hissy start when he first arrived.