Rehomed my girls

[sittingonacornflake]

I've just had to rehome my 2 beautiful Cats.

Numerous reasons - my fiancé walking out on me and our 6 mo baby and leaving us somewhat in the shite being 1 of them.

I am absolutely devastated.

1 of the cats in particular I had such a strong bond with. Only had them 18 months but the feelings were so strong. Feels so wrong that they aren't here, I've been sobbing. They didn't deserve this and I never ever thought I'd be someone that would have to rehome their pets (or be a lone parent but that's a whole other thread).

Please can anyone who has experience of rehoming a pet tell me how long it takes to get over the pain?

[MrsPawsitive]

That must be so sad for you. It's very upsetting. I'm sorry your partner left you in the lurch. It's a terrible thing to do. The pain will ease with time but I doubt you'll be able to forget this, not just the cats, of course, but him walking out on you and the baby. Shame on him. All I can say is I believe what goes around comes around, the universe has a way of balancing things sooner or later. I know that's not much comfort right now but he's a fool and you're a hero, so there's that. Take good care of yourself and your little one.

[sittingonacornflake]

Thank you @MrsPawsitive I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. And for not judging me for rehoming my lovely girls.

[Wolfiefan]

I'm so sorry. You must remember that you've done what you felt best for their happiness and welfare. A horrible situation. Will you stay in touch?

[sittingonacornflake]

@Wolfiefan the cat shelter said I could call for updates. I don't know whether to or not. I don't want to waste the volunteers time by calling them when their time could be spent on something more worthwhile. Also, don't know how I'll feel. I want to hear they are doing well but what if they're not? I'm just going to feel even worse....

[Vinorosso74]

What a sad situation. I'm sorry your partner has left you and your baby. You have done the responsible thing regarding your cats but I can understand your heartache. I'm sure the shelter will be happy to update you with how they are doing maybe give it until after the weekend?
Nobody will judge you. People do sadly have to rehome animals due to unforseen changes in their lives and that is where rescues can help.

[DeltaG]

Ah OP, not surprised you're feeling upset. But it sounds like you've done the right thing and have the best of intentions at heart for your cats. No doubt they will find loving homes and bring joy to their next families! Don't be hard on yourself x

[Wolfiefan]

Our first cats were a mum and son. 18 months and two years. I often wish I could let their first owners know they were loved to bits, spoilt and mum lived to be 19!
We volunteer at a shelter. They understand how hard it can be to give up a pet. Off to cuddle the kitties and walk the dogs tomorrow.
Would you like to maybe leave a card or a message for their future slaves. (No cat has owners!) what do they like? How sorry you are to give them up. Their favourite food and cuddle spots?

[batshitbetty]

I'm so sorry, I know if I was in you situation I would be completely and utterly distraught (my cats are my babies!!) but please hold on to the fact that you have done what is best for your furbabies, even though it is killing you - that is all a responsible pet owner can do

[MrsPawsitive]

People who own and care for cats understand what you're going through, OP. No one judges you for doing the right thing. You won't be wasting the volunteers' time inquiring as to how your cats are doing. Caring of all sorts is always appreciated by those who work with the animals. I like Wolfiefan's idea of a card, too. Take good care of yourself and your baby.

[sittingonacornflake]

Thank you so much for your responses!!

I just so badly hope they find new homes and are happy. They are such lovely cats.

I will think about it over the weekend and I also like the idea of a card. I also want to send a thank you message to the volunteers at the shelter who absolutely couldn't have been lovelier to me when I dropped them in. Down to discreetly popping me some tissue when I was crying filling out the forms and kindly letting me say goodbye to them. They made all the difference.

[Toddlerteaplease]

Leaving a message for future slaves is a lovely idea. I got very little information on my new addition and would have loved that.

[Toddlerteaplease]

The rescues said they'd phone and tell her previous owner that she'd settled well.

[Wolfiefan]

By taking them to a rescue and not putting them on scumtree or similar you have ensured that any future home is fully home checked and owners vetted. You did your best for them. I'm sorry you had to. But their welfare comes first.

[MiniLeopardInTheHouse]

Hello OP. I just wanted to say how much I admire you for caring enough about your kitties to make such a wise and unselfish decision. You are going through such a tough time, yet you've considered what is in their best interests because of your change of circumstances.

I would have loved a letter or card from MiniLeopard's first family telling me all about him, but he came from neglect and abuse so that was never going to happen! Writing about your kitties might help you too OP? Unlike MiniLeopard, your kitties will always benefit from the lovely start you gave them in life.

My guess is you're crying for everything you've lost, not just your kitties. Things will start to feel better on all fronts, in time.

Wishing you and your DC well for a happy future together

[Want2beme]

How awful for you. I'm very sorry that you're going through such a difficult time. You must be so sad. You're so good to have found a good rescue centre for your cats. They'll make sure that they get a loving home. Look after yourself and your little one and have a great life. You're strong

[Rudgie47]

Sorry this has happened to you OP, your partner shpould have thought all things through before he had a child with you. You will be better off without this utter bastard in the long run.
Regarding the cats they will get good homes I'm sure.
I took on a cat from a shelter after a lady gave him in because her husband left her with 4 cats by herself. She had to go and live at her Mums who had a few dogs that hated cats, so the cats couldnt go.
He settled in with me straight away and is very loved.

[Wolfiefan]

Thought of you today. We volunteer at a rescue and today cat cuddled. One was homed whilst we were there and a family came to look for a new friend. They do great work.

[sittingonacornflake]

Your responses have brought me to tears

I'm still really struggling with both the guilt of giving them up and missing them. When I feel sad a cat cuddle can be all I need to feel better again but I can't have one I can't get used to looking out the window and they're not in their usual spots. And no one comes running to greet me when I get home anymore (1 of my cats was like a dog with doing that!)

I just need to keep reminding myself I've done the right thing.

And when I'm back on my feet properly I am going to make sure to donate to the cat rescue that took them in. They were so kind to me and I'm sure are looking after the cats.

[Want2beme]

It must be awful for you. You can be sure that you have done your very best for them. You were in an impossible situation and sometimes life can be so hard. Keep looking forward and know that very soon things will be good again for you and your little one

[Wolfiefan]

You have done the right thing. You are suffering but they will be spoilt rotten in their new homes. The rescue will make sure of that. I hope you are back on your feet soon. One day maybe you will be in a position to help out another cat or two. Good luck OP.

[MeetOnTheLedge]

I'm so sorry. Our cats came to us via a shelter in similar circumstances. We took them home two weeks after they arrived at the shelter and they settled really well with us. After a few weeks the former owner got in touch with the shelter and we exchanged a couple of email updates, I think it brought her comfort.

One thing I would have loved as the adopter is some kitten photos as they were adults when we adopted them, so maybe if you have some and can bring yourself to send them, those could go with a card to the rescue.

[sittingonacornflake]

@MeetOnTheLedge I'd love that but we adopted them as adults and didn't get any kitten photos.

Sigh. I just hope they're ok. Maybe I'll call later this week and ask. I'm just worried it might make me feel worse.

[0range99]

My cats came from a rescue where the owner had to leave the country and couldn't take them with them.

He asked the rescue if the new owner would send word of how the cats were settling in so I sent him some pics and drop him a mail from time to time to let him know that they are doing and he messages to wish them happy birthday and happy christmas etc

I hope that you can have a similar opportunity to hear that your cats are settling well and that you are back on your feet soon

[sittingonacornflake]

Oh orange how lovely! That's it, I'm definitely going to phone this week and leave my email address in the hope that I can hear from the new owners. That would be so nice.

[ApplestheHare]

sittingonacornflake I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation

Like you, I never thought I'd re-home a pet but re-homed one of our dogs one week before DD arrived. She'd had a troubled past and made lots of progress but was absolutely terrified of children. That combined with some (generally controllable) aggressive behaviour (not ddog's fault, the fault of the idiot who kept her locked in a shed by herself for the first year of her life) was what made the decision. I'm not going to lie, it was 4 years ago this week and I still miss ddog but I also still know it was the right decision. I wonder about her all the time but I know she'd have been stressed to the point of snapping trapped in a house with a baby. It sounds like you've also made the best decision you can, and at a difficult time.