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I think Fatty is trying to kill me.

(21 Posts)
Toddlerteaplease Sat 14-Apr-18 12:36:54

She has been staring at me very menacingly over the past few days. And has started to sit on my head in bed again. Something she's not done for ages. I think she's trying to suffocate me.

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YetAnotherSpartacus Sat 14-Apr-18 12:38:59

I looked at the first photo without my glasses and thought it was a picture her lovely ladyship bringing you a highly poisonous spider ...

Toddlerteaplease Sat 14-Apr-18 12:48:25

Fortunately she couldn't catch a highly poisonous spider, but I'm sure she would if she could.

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YetAnotherSpartacus Sat 14-Apr-18 12:57:14

I think both Fatty and Snorg know exactly which side their bread is buttered on and that although they might deny it except under oath they love their hoomin mama very much indeed.

AlonsoTigerHeart Sat 14-Apr-18 12:59:09

If youve upset a queen then its right you are punished.

Toddlerteaplease Sat 14-Apr-18 18:41:20

And their Hooman loves them very much too. Even when madam is sitting on my head! And refusing to sit still for more than two seconds. Makes me laugh when the cardiologist wants to know what her sleeping respiratory rate is. She doesn't sleep when I'm at home!

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LanguidLobster Sat 14-Apr-18 20:48:17

Oh Toddler they all try to do that. I hate the head thing, I was furious to wake up this morning with a paw on my mouth (claws outstretched).

She's probably food bowl plotting or just amusing herself. Hope you survive, good luck!!

Perfectly normal psycho cat behaviour!

Toddlerteaplease Sat 14-Apr-18 22:33:39

I wouldn't mind her sitting on my head but she just doesn't sit still!

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Toddlerteaplease Sat 14-Apr-18 22:34:23

All other cats I know will stay in one place for hours. With these two it's less than five minutes!

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Weedsnseeds1 Sat 14-Apr-18 23:29:17

I think they both just have naturally homicidal expressions. I'm sure it's nothing personalsmile

Toddlerteaplease Sun 15-Apr-18 07:56:21

Hmm, Snorg is quite placid looking and is probably too dopey to be a homicidal feline. But maybe she's just lulling me in to a false sense of security.

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YetAnotherSpartacus Sun 15-Apr-18 07:59:42

Fuck, That scared the shit out of me. At least you didn't draw red demon eyes...

Toddlerteaplease Sun 15-Apr-18 08:14:55

I was complaining that I couldn't get a good picture of her face so a Facebook friend did that, I love it!

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PinkSparklyPussyCat Sun 15-Apr-18 19:38:45

Oh dear God, that picture needs a warning! I’m sure the lovely Fatty and Snorg aren’t homicidal maniacs but, just in case, please ask them not to pass any tips onto Harry! The way he looks at me sometimes makes me glad we haven’t got stairs!

Springtrolls Sun 15-Apr-18 19:45:07

That picture is awesome. I'm so tempted to do mine, I never thought about drawing their faces on.
But yea her highness will be trying to kill you for that picture.

Papergirl1968 Mon 16-Apr-18 18:51:31

I think dcat is trying to kill me too. He has taken to lying on my chest in bed, which is a crushing weight as he is a hefty boy. And if he doesn’t squash me to death he will suffocate me as his furry bottom is right by my face.
If neither crushing nor suffocation works, I will probably die of some nasty disease caused by his bum being close to my mouth!

Toddlerteaplease Tue 17-Apr-18 10:53:18

Snorg is definitely trying to suffocate me as she is slightly obese.

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Weedsnseeds1 Wed 18-Apr-18 18:15:49

Mine slakes his blood lust in other ways...
Drawn on cat faces could be the way forward for rescues trying to show that black cats are great in selfies!

Toddlerteaplease Wed 18-Apr-18 20:21:57

I sat on the sofa and fatty stuck her claw in my toe. She looked very sad and worried when I yelped, so I think it was an accident.....

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Weedsnseeds1 Wed 18-Apr-18 21:06:27

It's subterfuge..

SomeKnobend Wed 18-Apr-18 21:16:29

Omg, Fatty is definitely plotting to kill you, you should bring her to my house immediately! grin Sooooooo cute. I'd definitely overlook some homicidal tendencies for that face!

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