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How do I know when?

(15 Posts)
Blackspaniel1 Sat 24-Feb-18 06:09:28

I'm sat here in tears as I don't know what to do. My gorgeous almost 17year old boy is in severe pain with arthritis in his spine, he also has kidney disease. I took him to the vets on Monday as he was unable to move without howling and hissing in pain. They gave me pain killers and did a blood test to see how far advanced his KD was as the drugs for arthritis make KD worse, so it was a case of weighing up quality of life with or without arthritis drugs.

His pain was so severe he was back in the vets Thurs on drip and given the arthritis meds, they warned me if that didn't work, there was nothing else they could do. He really picked up Thurs night, and I thought we'd cracked it, checked at vets yesterday, all ok. But again last night he's started howling in pain, and going up stairs this morning was horrific to watch him, and this is with the arthritis medication and pain killers.

Is it time to put him to sleep? I can't bear it, either the thought of not having him here, or the thought of him in constant pain (which he most likely has been for the past 3 weeks).

Help....

beargryllshasabigrope Sat 24-Feb-18 06:24:28

I'm sorry your old boy is suffering. 17 is a mighty age! How lovely for you to have had him for so long.

Having a beloved family pet pts must be such a hard decision to make. It sounds as if he's really struggling now, and as the arthritis meds haven't touched his pain it now may be kinder to let him go. It's always better a day too soon than a day too late.

Perhaps give your vet a call when they open and see if they can advise you? And until then give your kitty lots of love and snuggles if he'll allow you too thanks

jaspercat2002 Sat 24-Feb-18 08:12:24

I'm so sorry - it's such a hard decision but it does sound like it may be time. thanks.

Like the precious poster said your vet will be able to advise you - ours was fantastic in this situation. It's the kindest and most loving last thing you can do for an elderly cat in pain. I found the last few days of 'is it time or not?' so awful but once we had made the decision a kind of calm came over me and I was able to relax a little and share a last few lovely hours with my old boy which I will always treasure.

It sounds like he has had a long and happy life with you. Wishing you all the best with whatever you decide is right.

Want2beme Sat 24-Feb-18 08:13:15

It's such a difficult decision to make. I'd ask your vet again and see what they say. I wonder if there's an even stronger painkiller they can give him. Is there a prescription food that might help? So sorry he's in so much pain.

ifonly4 Sat 24-Feb-18 16:43:38

It's such a hard decision and so hard to go through, but when the time comes you'll know it's right. It's better to let them go a day too early than a day too late and in real distress.

If you think he still has a bit of life in him, then I'd go for quality rather than quantity every time, ie keep him pain free even if it accelerates the kidney disease.

DancesWithOtters Sat 24-Feb-18 16:58:26

I'm so sorry OP.

If he's in pain and there's no chance of recovery then it's time. This is the kindest thing you can do for him.

Give him a lovely last breakfast, a long cuddle and fuss, then pop him to the vets.

I always tell this story and hope it helps, but my old boy was 21 and we knew it was time. We were obviously upset, and also anxious because all his life he had HATED the vet and we had a battle to put him in his carrier every single time. On his last day we gave him a tin of tuna and some cream, had a cuddle, then he walked over to his carrier in the corner of the room and lay down.

He had NEVER willingly got into his carrier before and it'd always ended up in us being covered in scratches. That was the only time he'd ever got in it himself. We like to think he was telling us he was ready. thanks

ifonly4 Sat 24-Feb-18 17:22:34

Sorry OP I didn't realise he was still in pain. When you feel it's the right time, it might help to think how you want it to be. Some people have them pts at home, I didn't want this as my other cat would have been present. However, I chose something to put on the vet's table so he had something more comfortable than a cold hard table. Also, if you want to bury him or have him cremated (our Toby is in a lovely wooden carved box). It is such a hard decision to make. x

Blackspaniel1 Sun 25-Feb-18 06:23:45

Thank you for your kind replies.

After speaking to the vet yesterday morning she agreed if his pain had not improved we should pts. I gave him a larger dose of medication on the vets instruction, then miraculously he got up, came downstairs, went in the garden and had something to eat, all without crying....

We decided to see how he went this weekend, and of course I was full of hope. Last night though he is back to howling in pain again. I have tried to get him to eat this morning, and he isn't interested and is lying under a bed away from reach. He cried when he tried to move.

I am going to ring the vet soon and take him. I can't see him suffer like this anymore and I am confident we have tried all we can to relieve his pain. This is the day I have been dreading for so long.... I have never had to make this decision for one of my own animals before. 16 years of the most loving affectionate cat you could ask for.... I have been lucky.

God this is so awful.

Toddlerteaplease Sun 25-Feb-18 06:45:20

Hand hold. It's awful, but you have done everything you could. He sounds like he's had a wonderful life with you. Give him lots of cuddles.

Blackspaniel1 Tue 27-Feb-18 06:15:55

So we waited another day as he seemed to pick up a little on Sunday and yesterday... then had a severe episode of pain last night just trying to stand up, and his back legs went.

We took him straight to the vets and he just sat calmly in my arms on the way there, I think he knew it was time. It was very peaceful and over in seconds, and even though I had been dreading it for months now, it was a relief that he was out of pain.

I veer from knowing we did the right thing to crying just thinking about him. I am going to be useless today.

Sorry for the depressing post, but I know you will all understand more than most. He was my most loved and beautiful boy, I doubt I'll ever be lucky enough to know another cat like him.

jaspercat2002 Tue 27-Feb-18 08:30:45

So sad to hear this thanks. Sounds like you did the very best thing for him and I'm sorry you're hurting so much. He was lucky to have had such a caring owner.

Lots of lovely memories I'm sure. football

jaspercat2002 Tue 27-Feb-18 08:33:01

Sorry - I don't know why that football is in my post.

userxx Tue 27-Feb-18 20:19:10

You absolutely did the right thing. It was his time.

BluebellTheDonkey Tue 27-Feb-18 20:46:29

RIP dear puss. You showed the final act of kindness, as hard as it is for you.thanks
Are you going to have any sort of memorial? We had a little stone with RIP Molly and placed it where we buried her ashes.

Blackspaniel1 Fri 02-Mar-18 15:07:44

Thank you, I am dealing with things much better than I feared. I think it was seeing him in so much pain just before we took him to the vets. There was no way he would have wanted to carry on, so I am relieved we let him go.

We decided not to have his ashes returned, as we don't want a grave as such, but we are going to buy a tree and plant it in his memory in our garden, once the weather improves.

Thank you all for your support, it's the worst part of pet ownership, but the good years are so worth it!

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