Cat passed away - coping strategies for remaining cat and children.(3 Posts)
Hello, my 15 year old ginger tom has had tp be put to sleep today due to an aggressive tumour on his jaw. I'm so very sad to see him go, I think I realised yesterday that it was likely that I would be saying goodbye to him today. He was so lovely, such a friendly good natured cat who was brilliant with children.
I'm just hoping for advice about how this might affect my other cat who is a year younger - what can I do to help her adjust? They have been together since she was a couple of months old and she loved sleeping on him and cleaning him. At the moment she is okay but I know as time stretches on she will start being unsettled a pacing about wondering where he is.
Also, my daughter (who is 6, almost 7) is at school and will be coming home to the news her beloved old man has gone. Anyone have any advice on dealing/approaching this please? She will be heartbroken
So sorry for your loss
It’s so hard having to tell children such sad news -all I can suggest is make sure you use very clear language so she understands what has happened is permanent and don’t be afraid to let her see that you are sad too. When we lost ours cats we grieved together and cried together. Some children like to make memory scrapbooks but mine both found it too hard to even look at photos or at the cats things for quite a while and didn’t want to talk about happy memories etc until a good few weakens had passed.
It’s hard to predict how your other cat might react. I thought my remaining cat would be confused and sad when his sister died after 18 years together but he actually seemed to cope well (although he was a little clingy for a few weeks after but then we were clingy with him too so who knows)
Take care of yourself too - sad times
I m sorry for your loss, he sounds a lovely old boy. I agree with pp re telling dc, sit them down and talk about it in simple terms as in you know he had not been well and was a very old man in cat years. There was nothing we could do and we are all very sad but he is not in pain anymore. If you believe in heaven etc it's nice to tell her he is with other people /pets you have lost. Although I still can't read the rainbow bridge poem without crying and I lost my Ruby in September. It's actually good if dc are allowed to be sad and see you cry, it means they know sadness and grief is ok to express with you whereas at school they might feel they have to be brave. For your other cat take your cue from her. Mine is 14 and really went off food for a while. I ve not long taken in a friend s kitten which can never replace Ruby but seems to be meeting with older cat s approval.
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