Mum thinking of rehoming George(128 Posts)
Please be gentle with me, I'm feeling very fragile at the moment.
DM struggles to get around and is nearly blind through glaucoma. She has been ill for months, struggling to breathe, has no appetite and is depressed. I found out yesterday she has heart failure and we're waiting for a scan to find out how severe. Dr Google has told me it's pretty bad though. She doesn't know yet, her GP is going to see her on Monday and I don't want her worrying all weekend.
Sorry for the waffle but I wanted to give the background. Anyway, I'll get to the point. When I saw DM on Tuesday she told me she thinks she should rehome George as she can't look after him. I'm trying to convince her otherwise. He's fed, watered and loved. The main problem is the litter tray as she can't see when he's used it. We can get round that though, it might not be emptied every day but one of us can get in every other day. When I'm on holiday Harry's cat sitter can go in.
I think she'll be more depressed than ever if she rehomes him. They adore each other and he won't be the easiest cat to rehome - he's a 10 year old jet black cat with anxiety issues. If anything happens to DM or she has to go into a home then sadly we will have to rehome him but I can't do it to him now.
I am doing the right thing aren't I? I can't bear the thought of splitting them up unless we absolutely have to.
Sorry about your mum. I agree that she would be upset to part from him, but it's her idea so I think I would listen to her. And if you start the process now it will give you more time rather than to wait until you have no choice.
Is there a reason you can't take him?
I can't have another cat while we've got Harry. When we tried it with William Harry was chased out of the house and he's my priority, especially with his various problems. We live in a one bed maisonette so we can't keep them separate and introduce them gradually.
Also, being realistic I can't afford another cat.
Can you pay someone to come in to look after George's tray? I think she'll be better off if she can keep him.
I'm not sure re the longer term.
I'm sorry about your Mum. .
I agree, he gives her something to get up for in the morning. I'm useless with litter trays (I cough and gag, DH thinks it's hilarious!) but I don't mind doing it when I go in, DH and my Uncle go in as well so we're probably covered for 4 or 5 days of the week. Unfortunately her carer, who is lovely, isn't really a cat lover!
He's got one tray at the moment so I might start by setting up a second one so he's got plenty of room!
As long as George isn't overtly unhappy with his trays and as long as they are not a hazard for your Mum...
Also, when the time comes, do consider at least trying George with Harry (two Royals, eh)? Just because he and William (where are all the Royals coming from??) didn't get along it's not to say that he and George won't. Also, it will be a difficult conversation, but will your Mum's estate provide? If not, I guess it is time to start looking for alternatives.
I would encourage her to see the benefits of George there are lots excellent studies that show that cats reduce stress in their owners ( decreased heart rate, less anxiety, company and less depression). There has almost been a good quality study that showed that cats actually have a positive effect on healing and that people with long term health conditions do better if they have a cat.
He doesn't seem bothered at the moment. He could go in the garden but he chooses to use a tray that hadn't been emptied for a couple of days (I hadn't realised it was a problem)! He's an indoor cat by choice, the door is left open for him all the time (literally!) but he chooses to stay in. The trays are in the large downstairs shower room so they aren't in the way.
I'd love to try but it would be a case of let George out of the box and hope for the best. He'd also have to accept a few changes - they'd be no sharpening up on the furniture, he'd be encouraged to use the garden rather than a litter tray (cat proofed garden so no upsetting the neighbours!), no feeding on demand. DM lets him get away with anything...
Regarding the names, Harry was already called that and William was such a poor old boy I decided he needed a regal name. George was called a Sooty at Battersea and I wanted to change it to Philip but DM didn't like it so we called him George.
Where are Diana and Camilla?
George sounds just a wee bit spoilt
Do you think she really wants to rehome him, or feels that she should out of guilt?
If the latter I'd reassure her that he's happy, and his bond to her won't change for the worse just because she's become unwell.
Obviously it's ideal to change litter trays daily but 4-5 days isn't bad at all in the circumstances especially if he himself proves he doesn't mind by not having accidents elsewhere. It's a bit cheeky to ask outright I suppose but if I knew an elderly neighbour was struggling to manage I'd be happy to pop in 2-3 days a week to change the litter tray. Any cat loving friends in her road?
My DGM took a downward turn in her health when she had to have her dear old Collie PTS. It was the right time for the dog so unavoidable but as long as George is in good health I'd encourage keeping him as company and something to get up for too. I'm sure he's enriching her life in ways she may not realise until he isn't around.
I think it's guilt and she'd be lost without him. He sits with her, sleeps on her head (yes really) and he'd also be lost without her. As her sight has got worse he has stopped rubbing around her ankles and walks in front of her as he knows something isn't right.
I've worked out the longest he'd have to go without a litter change is 3 days and it'll usually be shorter than that so hopefully he won't mind. There's been no accidents so far so fingers crossed!
DM hasn't got many friends. People have tried but she's not a sociable person. Apparently when she used to be tidying the front garden she used to hide if people went past in case they spoke to her. She cared for my Dad for 20 years and couldn't go out so she lost some friends then but she's never gone out of her way with the ones that stuck by her. That's not meant to sound unkind, it's just how she is.
Where are Diana and Camilla?
I wanted her to get two, Phil and Liz, but she wasn't having it! Probably a good thing as I'd have a bigger headache than I've got now!
George is too spoilt and it will make him difficult to rehome if it becomes necessary. As much as I pamper Harry, he wouldn't get away with half the things George does!
I think they both need each other. As long as he is fed and watered and the tray done when you can then I see no problems. X
Aren't there automatic cat-poop sorting litter trays now? Would that help?
Bit expensive! Sorry about long link...
I think it's a brilliant idea but I don't think George would as he's so nervous - I think he'd think it was a cat basket!
I do want one for Harry though!
OP could you look into those self cleaning litter trays?
There are quite a few different types, I'm not sure myself how good they are but I know some people have used them.
Have a look at some reviews
I think it depends more on whether the cat would like them, as a lot of them are closed litter boxes rather than open trays.
I've got a sieve type litter trays from pets at home (it was nearly 20 quid though) but with 3 cats its a lot easier.
You just take the top tray off, pour it through the middle tray (sieve), into the bottom. It only works with clumping litter though.
It could be easier as she won't have to see whats in the litter, just tip away whats left in the sieve.
Well it looks as though the decision has been taken out of our hands. DM is in hospital with kidney failure and heart failure and isn't expected to go home. Best case scenario is she has to go into a nursing home
DH and I are feeding George at the moment until we know for sure what is happening but there's no way it will work with George and Harry and our house.
So sorry to hear that.
Hope it's not too difficult to find a new home for George.
I am so sorry for your Mum, you and George
I'm so sorry to read this. My thoughts are with you and your mum and I'm sending a special squeeze for George.
I wonder if The Cinnamon Trust could help you (well, George really!) in this situation. They have volunteers to help with many kinds of difficult situations involving pets and older people. 01736 757900. They are very approachable.
So sorry to hear about your DM pink
Hope a lovely and understanding home can be found for George too.
Thinking of you all x. I hope George finds a lovely home.
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