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Beautiful cat died suddenly please hand hold

(31 Posts)
babyinthacorner Sat 05-Aug-17 23:02:22

We came home tonight to find our gorgeous 10 year old boy dead on the floor. He'd obviously been in distress and we're devastated. Vet said it could've been poisoning or heart attack, but it looks like he was asleep on his favourite chair, then started to salivate, possibly had a seizure then died.

We are racked with guilt that we weren't here and he died alone. Luckily our 4 year old was asleep in the car and didn't see but we'll need to explain tomorrow. She asks a lot of questions so not sure how much to tell her. I think even if we tell her we found him in the living room it might stir up bad thoughts for her, but how to be truthful yet vague? Our other cat died 2 years ago and she still talks about him and how she misses him.

We're just in shock and I can't stop crying. Our poor, crazy, grumpy, determined, soppy, loud fluffball. We'll be finding his fur for the rest of our days, I think.

Sorry if this is in the wrong place, just needed to tell people who'd understand and could maybe advise.

FadedRed Sat 05-Aug-17 23:05:32

Sorry for the lost of your pet.
Please report your post and get the title changed ASAP.

Isadora2007 Sat 05-Aug-17 23:07:01

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I would be as honest as possible without giving distressing info. To be fair you don't actually know how your beloved moggy died so a very simple but honest "he was very poorly very suddenly and he died" could suffice. Any questions can't be honestly answered that you do t know.
Often action helps small (and even not so small) people cope with grief- so deciding what to do with the body and how to commemorate can help- we walked on the beach collecting stones and pebbles to make a wee cairn on our cats grave- the walk was lovely and the kids needed that too. Even now (3 years on) we sometimes add a nice wee pebble or stone on.
Gentle hugs.

Refilona Sat 05-Aug-17 23:09:48

I'm sorry for the loss of your pet but I agree that you must change the title and first two sentences of your post.

babyinthacorner Sat 05-Aug-17 23:10:30

Ok sorry I see, have reported.

namechanger2735 Sat 05-Aug-17 23:15:01

baby I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how I'd deal with the passing of a pet so I can't offer any advice, just a hand hold. I do think though that what a 4 year old doesn't know won't hurt her. I feel it may be an uncommon opinion but I don't see the point in explaining death to a 4yo, I personally would go for something like "he found a new cat friend and has gone to play with them" or another awful lie. Just to save the upset!

namechanger2735 Sat 05-Aug-17 23:15:26

Also did I miss the first title of this thread or am I not seeing what's wrong with this one?

babyinthacorner Sat 05-Aug-17 23:16:31

I said beautiful boy instead of cat.
Thanks for replies. I'm a bit of a mess. Can't stop crying...

namechanger2735 Sat 05-Aug-17 23:18:06

I can imagine. I know it'll be of little help but I'd take comfort in the fact that it didn't happen whilst he was out/ wasn't involved in an accident. He died at home, where the people he loved live, in his favourite placeflowers

babyinthacorner Sat 05-Aug-17 23:21:44

Thank you namechanger - although you've just made me cry even more! I'm going to wake poor DH up in a minute...

QODRestYeMerryGentlemen Sat 05-Aug-17 23:24:02

Ah I'm so sorry. I have an evil bitey bastard wonderful hilarious 8 yr old adored boy. I get tearful even thinking about life without him 🙄
💐 ❤️

lovemycatsanddog Sat 05-Aug-17 23:24:46

I am so sorry to hear about your beautiful cat, its a shock i know
I lost a lovely British shorthair a few years ago,the same way,
I came downstairs one morning to find her on the settee dead
I was very upset, partly because se often came upstairs with me,but he chose that night to stay down
When i went to bed she was eating,perfectly ok
When i found her i thought she was asleep and called out to her,when she didnt move i went over to her but she was dead,and still warm, she looked as if she had just died in her sleep, no sign of a seizure, as i have another cat who has seizures and never ends up where she started from,so at least i think it was very quick and didnt suffer
Last year i had another cat have a heart attack, she was in pain,i rushed her to the vet but it was too late
I am so sorry ,i understand what a shock it must have been,also your feeling of guilt that you were not there
I felt the same when i found mine dead in the morning,when she was alone

namechanger2735 Sat 05-Aug-17 23:25:27

Cry it out! I always find I have a good sleep after a good cry. That'll help too. Check in in the morning❤️

babyinthacorner Sat 05-Aug-17 23:32:21

Crying it out in the bathroom now... baby, 4 year old and DH asleep.

love I'm sorry to hear your experiences but glad your cat went peacefully. It doesn't look like ours did, there was a lot of mess. I think that's half the problem. It was just awful to see him like that.

Anyway. Thank you so much everyone for being so kind, and I hope I didn't upset anyone with the original title error.

Waxlyrically Sun 06-Aug-17 08:58:18

I'm so sorry OP. It's devestating to lose a beloved pet that's part of the family. As someone has already said you may find comfort from the fact he died where he felt safe and loved once things are less raw. Despite it being physically messy he probably had very little, if any, awareness of things beyond falling asleep in his favourite spot.

babyinthacorner Sun 06-Aug-17 11:07:35

Thank you Wax. I'm trying to think like that, but it looked like he'd been pacing/writhing around so can't help but think of him in distress. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is that. DD took the news very bravely, then had a huge meltdown over something minor, so think that's what we can expect for a while now.

Oldraver Sun 06-Aug-17 13:00:06

flowers

RubbishMantra Sun 06-Aug-17 13:27:47

I'm sorry for the loss of your much loved boy baby. I know it's probably little consolation at the moment, but he's at peace now. A lovely rose bush planted on his grave, or if he's to be cremated, some of his ashes mixed into the planting site can be a comforting reminder for you and your family. Would you like to talk about him to us, or post some photographs of him?

I have heard good things about the Cat Protection League's pet bereavement line. They can also offer advice how to handle the subject with DD. Their number is 0800 0966606. flowers

FatCatFaces Sun 06-Aug-17 13:38:52

Oh no, poor puss sad

Sorry for your loss. I have 2 cats & I dread the day. Don't beat yourself up about not being there. I'm sure he was well spoilt and knew how loved he was. As he was sleeping, it was hopefully quick and painless, despite how it may look to you flowers

babyinthacorner Sun 06-Aug-17 14:45:21

Thank you Rubbish, that's really helpful. I didn't know about the pet bereavement line. I keep telling myself I need to pull myself together, but it's so quiet and empty without him. We're doing stuff in the garden and keep imagining we've seen him. He would've been sprawled on the grass loving the sunshine today and we would've been getting him to chase sticks we drag across the lawn.
He was part Maine coon, part ginger tom street cat, so you can probably imagine what he was like if you know cats! His name was Leo and we've never met a more aptly named cat. He had a crooked tail and on the day I went to collect him as a kitten, he'd already escaped out of the cat flap and made it into the pond in the back garden and he continued to be a naughty lovable rogue. He had a brother called Pan who was sleek and black and was an expert hunter but very shy and gentle with humans. Leo was the exact opposite - bolshy, grumpy and attention seeking, but couldn't catch a mouse for toffee. Pan died a couple of years ago and since then Leo's been even more loud and attention seeking. I'm finding bits of his fur everywhere and I'm deliberately leaving the doors open upstairs after 10 years of keeping them shut to keep him off the beds.

babyinthacorner Sun 06-Aug-17 14:47:15

Last ever photo of him, contemplating trying eat a scone. He loved cream, yoghurt and bananas!

RubbishMantra Sun 06-Aug-17 15:17:30

What a very handsome chap! Leo's looking at that scone in a very covetous fashion, isn't he! Would've been a big lad I'm sure, being part Maine Coon. I don't know why, but I thought he may have been a ginger before you posted his picture. Just a suggestion, if you were thinking of planting a rose for Leo, you could choose an orangey/apricot colour, to match his fur?

kali110 Sun 06-Aug-17 15:23:55

Im so sorry!
We lost one of ours not too long ago, i still blame myself, but you can't.
Treasure the time you had together.
You gave him a good life, and loads of love. He knew he was loved flowers

babyinthacorner Sun 06-Aug-17 15:49:15

Rubbish that's a lovely idea... Pan's ashes are beneath a beautiful Acer my husband bough me for our wood wedding anniversary. Maybe we'll add to that with some roses and then their ashes can be mixed together. He was a big boy - 5.5kg! Bigger than my mum's dog grin
Kali sorry for your loss. They're so much more than pets, aren't they?

MsMims Mon 07-Aug-17 10:25:01

Oh he was absolutely gorgeous! I'm so sorry baby

Please try not to torment yourself about not being there (although I totally empathise with the feeling). Of course if you'd known he was unwell, you would have been there. It's very upsetting but his life was so much more than how he passed away. Try to remember the many happy years he's had with you too.

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