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Not Coping

(12 Posts)
tootiredtobeinspired Fri 26-May-17 12:45:29

I posted a few weeks ago about the sudden loss of my young boy, he was hit by a car after he broke out of the cat flap overnight. Nearly 4 weeks on and I still feel devastated. Ive spent all morning crying as I still cant believe he has gone. I miss him so much. Every morning he would be waiting at the kitchen door for someone to let him upstairs so he could get into bed with my daughter or me and now he is not there and the house is so quiet. We have other cats and they are lovely but they are not my boy. He was so full of joy and love and life feels really grey without him.
I also feel embarrassed to be feeling this way because he was a cat and not a person so I feel like my grief is silly but I cant help it.
He wasnt even 1, I feel like he was robbed, as were we and I dont know how to get over this. Ive had a really tough year and my boy was always there for a cuddle and was happy for me to cry into his fur and now when I need him more than ever he is not here. Please tell me it will get better as currently I cant imagine a time when I wont feel so heartbroken sad

GreenPolishToGo Fri 26-May-17 12:58:29

You poor love. It's not silly to grieve for a pet. He was your friend, he made you happy and you lost him in a horrible way when he wasn't much more than a kitten. If you've had a tough year I'm sure this is the last straw.

It will get better with time I promise. Eventually you will be able to take comfort in your memories of him. In the meantime don't beat yourself up for crying for him. Loving a pet doesn't mean that you don't care about people too.

Want2beme Fri 26-May-17 17:57:56

Oh, so sorry you're going through this. It brought tears to my eyes. It really is an awful time for you. You're probably still in shock and trying to make sense of what happened. You will start to feel less sad and bereft. Don't force yourself. There will come a time when you'll be able to think of him without breaking down and eventually, you'll be able to talk about him without feeling down.

I think that we all have one pet we feel closer to than to the others. The one that we just click with. My boy, who did have a long life, left me with a huge hole in my life when he died and I seriously thought I'd never recover. As you say, you feel embarrassed or silly about feeling this way, but you shouldn't. It took me a good while to come to terms with it, and even now I feel a bit tearful from time-to-time when I think about him. But he brought so much to my life and that's what I think about. He was a wonderful cat.

Let your grief out and talk about him. It will help.

Wolfiefan Fri 26-May-17 18:00:24

I remember you losing him. He may not have been a person but he was a member of the family. Of course it hurts. It's so unfair to lose one so young. flowers

TheCatOfAthenry Fri 26-May-17 19:40:39

Nothing embarrassing or silly at all. You loved him and he's gone.

Please be kind to yourself - you won't forget him but you will eventually find that you can cope, and it will get easier.

Sending hugs your way.

Fiona1984 Sat 27-May-17 09:14:05

I lost my cat a few weeks ago, I felt like I was being silly for being so upset, and that people would judge me because she was just a cat. I don't think a day has gone by where I haven't been close to tears thinking of her. She should be curled up here on my bed now, but I will never see her again or hear her chirp when I open the door, and run in sad

timtam23 Sat 27-May-17 11:25:46

So sorry to hear about the loss of your boy.

The Blue Cross have a pet bereavement helpline, i very nearly phoned them after my old boy died a few years ago as i was so very sad & it was difficult to explain to others. I can try to link the info page & the number later.

tootiredtobeinspired Sat 27-May-17 17:55:49

Thank you for your kindness. Yesterday was a terribly hard day but today feels a little less awful. It's the finality of it that's so hard to bear I think. The thought I'll never see him or hold him again and that there is nothing I can do to change that sad. I wonder if I am perhaps moving into the acceptance phase, I think I have definitely been in denial sad. So sorry for you all that have also been through this, cats certainly manage to leave their mark on your heart flowers

Wolfiefan Sat 27-May-17 18:01:25

You will have good days and bad days. That's ok. It's the nature of grief. And make no mistake. That's what this is. On dark days the idea of the rainbow bridge helps me.
flowers

GreenPolishToGo Sun 28-May-17 14:49:46

It really does get easier with time. I love all my cats past and present but my extra-special, once-in-a-lifetime, best beloved cat died 12 years ago and I was heartbroken. It took time, but now remembering her makes me smile because she was so amazing and I was so lucky to have her.

Stilllivinginazoo Mon 29-May-17 16:05:45

Never apologize for being sad.a special connection with a pet can break your heart as much as a human easily.my daughter was utterly distraught when one our boys died suddenly aged 6.he was her best friend, holder of her secrets,comfort and cuddles. Non judging,always pleased see her.
Like any loss it takes time.you will always have memories, no one can take that from you,and in our house we believe in the rainbow bridge and gives us comfort

bigtapdancingpimp Mon 29-May-17 17:08:54

You poor thing sad I still weep for my boy that I lost last year and another just two months ago. Cats just creep into your heart and never leave. I know what you mean about your house being different without him; my little bugger entered my house like a mini tornado, turned it upside down and destroyed everything in his path. I'll never get over losing him (he was also less than one year old).

I kind of shut my other, older cats out too which I feel really guilty about now; I just couldn't be bothered with them blush

You won't get over it OP but things will get easier in time flowers

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