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Is this it? Making the right decision :-(

(24 Posts)
jaspercat2002 Thu 20-Apr-17 16:12:58

My lovely old boy (18) has been poorly for the last week or so - has more or less stopped eating, mostly sleeping or just sitting. He has hyperthyroidism controlled with medication and arthritis but had otherwise been doing ok up until now. Took him to the vets a few days ago and he had a gentle check over but there was nothing obvious and we decided against any invasive testing at his age. He had a pain killer and antibiotic injection to see if either would help him get back on track.

He still isn't eating barely anything though, despite lots of tempting dishes and is gradually losing weight. He is still drinking a bit but not weeing much so must be getting dehydrated from not eating. But he doesn't seem to be getting any worse or to be really unhappy - he is enjoying a little fuss when he is awake and has had little potters in the garden when it has been sunny. I feel that it's not time quite yet.

But similar happened with his sister 4 months ago, although she was much more withdrawn, and we had an appointment for her to be PTS at home but she crashed that morning and had a horrible last half hour with struggling to breathe whilst I dashed her to the vet. I obviously don't want that to happen for him if I can help it, but similarly I don't want to rush the end if there is a chance he will rally.

I know there is no easy answer - just wanted to write it all down I think. I am still struggling from losing his sister so finding it so hard to decide what is best for him.

TheDogsMother Thu 20-Apr-17 16:32:15

I had to have both of ours PTS last year 6 months apart at age 16. Also our male cat a couple of years previously. In the case of the sisters they were clearly suddenly very poorly, I didn't want to subject them to invasive tests which were unlikely to bring any positive news anyway. With the male cat he had developed a condition which could then strike at any moment resulting in a sudden, painful and distressing end within the week. We made the decision to have a lovely couple of last days with him, feed him all his favourite things, cuddles and then manage the whole process in a way that would good for him. I couldn't have stood a distressing end for him and sadly you've experienced this too. I'm sure I read the phrase on here but 'better a week too early than a day too late'. I also remember the vet saying that cats are great at hiding discomfort so we really never quite know how they are feeling. He's 18 which is a great age for a cat but if you feel you can it might be time to plan a peaceful and dignified end to his long and happy life. flowers for you. I know just how sad this is.

jaspercat2002 Thu 20-Apr-17 19:38:32

Thank you. I have heard that saying before and always thought it sounded good advice - I need to remember that now. He has had a few mouthfuls of tuna tonight but looks really tired. I think I will see how he is in the morning and then maybe ring the vets and have a chat. Sad times :-(

TheDogsMother Thu 20-Apr-17 22:37:56

I'm so sorry, it's so difficult isn't it. Thinking of you and I'm sure you will know what and when it is right for your boy

Silverdream Thu 20-Apr-17 22:53:09

I'm so sorry. Just a horrible time. flowers

RamblinRosie Fri 21-Apr-17 01:14:25

I mostly regret the ones where I was late, it's all down to quality of life. Your's sounds like he's not enjoying life anymore.

So sorry for you.

ExplodedCloud Fri 21-Apr-17 01:21:39

My old girl had hyperthyroidism. I knew the end was nigh on a Saturday morning but the vet was pretty blase about it. By Sunday night she looked uncomfortable on a pile of blankets and she seemed really unhappy. I had the vets out to the house and we did the right thing. I knew her. I knew from her face that she was done.

PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 21-Apr-17 07:44:48

I'm going through exactly the same thought processes this morning with my 20yo girl. I think she's reached end stage kidney failure - drinking obsessively, not eating. She seems to have lost a lot of weight in a week. She looks tired. I have a vet's appointment this evening and don't know what I'm going for ie whether I'll be bringing her home.
So I can't help you at all I'm afraid, no useful advice at all smile But you are not alone in the struggle between wanting the easiest end for our loved ones, & not wanting to let them go sad

Good luck making your decision.

jaspercat2002 Fri 21-Apr-17 08:45:04

Thank you for all the empathy and undertanding .

I am still undecided - he seems a little brighter today and has had another few bites of tuna and I have even managed to get his hyperthyroid medication down him. Watchful waiting I think - luckily I am not working today so can be around to keep an eye on him and try and tempt him to eat.

Penguindreamsofdraco - I am so sorry to hear you are going through this too flowers. Wishing you both the very best today.

PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 21-Apr-17 13:50:20

Thanks. From my obsessive googling it seems the last bit of kidney disease can be unpleasant, with fits etc, & I don't want that. She hasn't really eaten in 4 days, even lick e lix. She seems calm but still interested and her own sweet self. I wish someone could make this decision for me!

How has your boy been today?

jaspercat2002 Fri 21-Apr-17 14:10:17

Much the same. I keep wildly swinging between thinking maybe he's ok and maybe he's really not. I think I am just waiting for a definitive sign one way or another. He was looking very tired, sad and droopy but then he saw through the window that another cat had dared to enter his garden and went (kind of) racing up the lounge making me think there is still a bit of spark left.

He has eaten a little today so think I am going to try and take a step back, make a huge fuss of him when he wants it over the weekend and then reassess on Monday. Unfortunately Dh is working away next week so any decisions will be down to me.

Do you know for definite your girl has kidney disease - is it something she's had for a while? 20 is such an amazing age. What's her name? (My old boy is Jasper - my username is a bit of a giveaway)

Hoppinggreen Fri 21-Apr-17 14:14:39

As someone else said the only cat I feel really bad about having pts was the one we left for too long.
It's the hardest decision for you but it's the kindest one for your pet

PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 21-Apr-17 14:16:11

Yeah she's had it for a while, but was coping ok. She doesn't actually seem too "bad" but if she's not eating, there's only one outcome really, & I think I'd rather she missed a few days rather than risking her fitting over the weekend.

Her name is extremely outing though!

PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 21-Apr-17 17:00:37

My girl has gone. I'm devastated but it was the right decision and the right time. Sitting here now in tesco car park bawling like a baby. How does something so small make such an impression?

jaspercat2002 Fri 21-Apr-17 17:16:48

Oh so sorry to hear that - it's no easier even when you suspect it's coming. You were strong and made the best decision for her.

I have booked an appointment tomorrow morning at the vets - discussing with you has really helped and I can see that the delaying the decision isn't the kindest choice.

Be kind to yourself while you grieve. She was lucky to be so well loved.

offblackeggshell Fri 21-Apr-17 17:20:02


PenguindreamsofDraco Fri 21-Apr-17 18:36:52

Thank you and sorry for hijacking. Good luck with your decision too. Happily my girl had a lovely peaceful passing lying in my arms. I thanked her for being my cat and giving me such joy, and scritched her ear. Would that we all had such a good death sadsmile

winchesterfan Fri 21-Apr-17 18:42:02

I know exactly what you're both going through.
My girl became poorly in January 2015 and we almost lost her but she made a miraculous recovery thanks to our amazing vet however at the end of last June she began to slow down a little and I knew the end was near.
She began to struggle with her breathing in September so we took her to the vets, knowing what was coming and made the decision to have her pts. The vet thinks she had cancerous growth but we chose not to treat and to say goodbye as she'd been through so much already, it seemed the kinder option even though it was incredibly difficult at the time.
It still hurts now to think of her and I miss her every day, but I'm glad I was able to say goodbye and give her that final gift of going without pain.
This was my baby, Bella!

Tigerblue Fri 21-Apr-17 19:03:13

Sorry to hear what you're going through. You may well be going to do this anyway, but I read it's a nice idea to take a towel or something soft for them to lie on, rather than a cold table in their last few minutes. I probably haven't helped with how you feel, but I've been looking into this as I suspect my lad has weeks. I know it's hard but try and enjoy tonight with your boy. Hugs x

PenguindreamsofDraco Sat 22-Apr-17 09:13:38

Good luck to you OP today with the decision and gentle passing to Jasper if that is what you decide flowers

jaspercat2002 Sat 22-Apr-17 13:06:00

He's gone sad. It was very peaceful - I was so worried he was going to fight it but he seemed relieved to let go I think. It was definitely the right time so thank you for helping me make the right choice.

He slept on my bed last night, which he hasn't done for years and we had a lovely sit in the garden together this morning and he had a drink from his favourite puddle.

I feel so lost and lonely but glad we did the very best we could for him. flowers to all of you who have gone through or are about to go through this.

Tigerblue - thank you for your suggestion. I replaced the usual towel in his carrier with his favourite fleece blanket and he lay on that at the end.

PenguindreamsofDraco Sat 22-Apr-17 13:16:40

I am very sorry. It hurts like hell but it sounds as though you did the right thing before he started to suffer. flowers

Threetoedsloth Sat 22-Apr-17 16:11:52

We love them so, but in the end it's that love which helps us make the hardest of decisions for their sake rather than for our own.You gave him the peaceful end he needed . RIP lovely Jasper. Take care of yourself OP.

maybeIwillmaybeIwont Sat 22-Apr-17 19:20:36

You did the right thing for you and definitely the right thing for Jasper. It really is the last act of love you can give them and you can thank your self that you could give him that end. Before he suffered. RIP Jasper, and these are for you jaspercat, such a sad time! flowers.

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