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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

Made appointment to have my lovely cat PTS

26 replies

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 14:26

This afternoon. I have been mulling this over for weeks now but she is 17 and I'm a bad way. I just feel guilty but she is my best friend and I feel I need to give her a good ending. Any wise words to help me this afternoon / evening? I have asked for her ashes back so I can scatter them somewhere she will love.

OP posts:

Report

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 14:27

Sorry that should say she is in a bad way health wise, now very thin, no interest in food, has kidney failure.

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Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/04/2017 14:28

It's the last show of love you can give her if she is suffering
The very worst part of owning a pet. .

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 14:28

I'm so sorry OP. We had to make the same choice for old girl last year. Do NOT feel guilty. You will be saving her from pain, suffering and an undignified ending. The only one suffering will be you. I'm so sorry. It's so hard.

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 14:29

Thanks so much for your kind words. They really do help.

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summerlovinggirl · 15/04/2017 14:30

So sorry that you have to go through this - it's heartbreaking I know.
Spend time stroking her and talking to her and try not to let her get stressed out at the vets.
Sending you hugs.

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 14:32

I do understand. I really do. We had old girl for 17 years. (Rescue cat we got when she was 2.) When we lost her the house seemed so empty. But I couldn't let her suffer and fade away in pain. It hurt.
It was the right thing though. So peaceful and gentle. I told her I loved her, thanked her for being my cat and said she would see (and probably beat up) her son again.

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 14:34

I'm snuggled up on the bed with her. It will be very strange without her.

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MollyHuaCha · 15/04/2017 14:43

Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 14:43

It will. It really will. I'm so sorry. She is lucky to have you.

PolterGoose · 15/04/2017 14:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Garnethair · 15/04/2017 15:01

So very sorry.

DumbledoresApprentice · 15/04/2017 15:14

So sorry.

Therewere5inthebed · 15/04/2017 16:04

So very sorry.
I understand how you feel.
I had to to make the same decision just before Christmas and for exactly the same reasons. I made an appmt to have it done at home as she hated going to the vets.
It was the last kind thing I could do for her.

It's taken until now for me to even think about it without tears but I know it was the right time and the kindest thing I could do.

She sits in her urn above her chair in the kitchen and I talk to her daily which has been oddly comforting.

They really do know how loved they are.

Sending you very unmumsnetty hugs.

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 17:29

Thank you for all your kind words. I am back home now with a very heavy heart, cried bucket loads and still doesn't feel real. It will take a while. She was so lovely. I will get her ashes back next week.

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Wolfiefan · 15/04/2017 17:57

Of course you cried. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Made appointment to have my lovely cat PTS

Sparklingbrook · 15/04/2017 17:58

It's so so hard.

ElizaDontlittle · 15/04/2017 18:01

oh how sad. Of course you cried and will cry more - she was your companion for a long time. I'm so sorry that it hurts so much.

MayorMayhem · 15/04/2017 18:07

You're all very kind. I keep pushing away this nagging doubt I did it too soon, but I read a saying "better a day too early than an hour too late" or something similar and it struck a chord. I know deep down I made the right decision, it's just so hard. Thanks you lovely bunch of people

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HappyFlappy · 15/04/2017 18:18

Sometimes the kindest and most loving thing we can do for our beloved animals is to let them go. It is never easy, even when we know it is the right thing to do, and that to keep them would cause them to suffer.

Their little lives are so short compared to ours - and they pack so much love into a tiny bundle that it tears our hearts out when the time comes. But grief is the price we pay for love.

Your life will feel empty and unreal for awhile, and you will never "get over" losing her, but you will come to terms with that empty spot on your lap. Do you have pictures of her? Perhaps you could make a collage, or have an especially lovely one framed, or printed onto a cushion, or a mug that you could fill with flowers in her memory. You have had a wonderful thing - the selfless love of a living creature. The two of you shared more in 17 years than many people ever feel in a lifetime.

But for now, don't be afraid to give in to your grief and pain, and be kind to yourself. It will take time to even begin to feel the reality of your loss - everything will have an unreal quality to it for a while. You'll hear her voice and see her in her favourite spot. You'll find yourself talking to her. It will take time. Surround yourself with people who understand - and if anyone says "It's only a cat. Get another" cut them out of your life. Love is love and knows no age, bounds or species.

Please don't mind me saying this, but one day, perhaps, you will feel ready to let another little love into your life; if you ever do, don't feel it as a betrayal, but rather as a compliment to what a wonderful companion she was. That day might be soon, or it may never come. Either way, you have given and received love and companionship, and have had the courage to do the right thing when the time came.

hapagirl · 15/04/2017 19:38

I feel for you. We put our 16 year old dog to sleep last year and I spent weeks outside because I didn't want to come back to an empty house. We got our cat about three months after because I couldn't stand the silence. They are so much a part of us and our family. It is the last kindness for you to help her on her way when she is not well.

PosiePootlePerkins · 15/04/2017 19:38

So sorry for your loss. RIP dear puss. You did the right thing. Lucky cat to have had a life with so much love.

hopeful31yrs · 15/04/2017 19:43

Recently had the same scenario. It still doesn't feel real and have the same guilt - maybe we did it too early? But she deserved a peaceful end. Miss her most at night not coming in for cuddles and purrs.

Thinking of you x

SabineUndine · 16/04/2017 20:32

I had to do this last week, my cat was also 17. It's hard, but he had so many things wrong with him and just wasn't himself. I also have that nagging doubt but I didn't want him to get more ill over Easter weekend when I couldn't have got him help.

Weedsnseeds1 · 16/04/2017 20:55

It needed doing, you couldn't let her linger on and on. It's sad and of course you miss her.

MayorMayhem · 17/04/2017 08:51

Thank you for your kind words, and sorry for those who have recently been through it too.

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