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Do you work for a genius cat?

(36 Posts)
iloveeverykindofcat Wed 22-Mar-17 05:49:36

Inspired by the dumb cat thread. I can't say I own Habibi, my genius cat, because I don't own her in any way shape or form. First, she tricked me into adopting her. I was intending to get a shy, sweet and submissive cat because my existing cat Zara is nervous and quite small. As I was walking through the shelter, she came up to the bars, caught my eye and mewed sweetly.
"Who's this youngster?" I said. She was about 8 to 10 months.
"Oh she's a real sweetie," they said: "She gets on with all cats and all humans. We've put her in with the grumpy old boy because she doesn't mind him."
Yes my friends. Habibi can act. I picked her up and she began to purr immediately, curling all around and pretending to be the sweetest, most submissive, darling little kitty in the world who would never be the slightest hint of trouble to anyone.
Three days later, she took over my house.
Despite being ill and malnourished at the time, she leapt out of her carrier with a clear pronouncement of "lol tricked u" and STOMPED all around the house, up and down the stairs, with the posture of a conquering lion. Habibi, which is Arabic for darling, was promptly shortened to the more suitable Bibi or Beebs.

Unlike Zara, Bibi is superb at being a cat. Despite being fat, she is fast, balanced, and an extremely proficient hunter. She is an equally brilliant manipulator of humans. Even the most difficult housemate I ever had has been spotted cuddling her. She regularly engineers situations to get what she wants, including the best furniture and pillows. But its more than that - the way she communicates is almost human, staring into your face and using a huge range of sounds with real tone and intonation. If you call her name, she replies in a tone that sounds like 'What?' When you open a door and see her she makes distinct 'hmrr', which is her greeting. She only ever uses it for that purpose. Though I try to get her to exercise, she is rarely engaged by toys, because she knows they aren't real prey. She understands the laser pen. She uses her paws like human hands. She's just an ordinary black and white moggie, no special breed, but I have honestly never met such an animal in my life. I love her, but I don't entirely understand her, and the way she looks at me sometimes is so penetrating its almost scary. Does anyone else have a human genius cat? Tell me some stories about them.

SagelyNodding Wed 22-Mar-17 06:35:16

That was lovely to read! Can't contribute as one of mine is a dumb as they come - even fell off the sofa last night...

sashh Wed 22-Mar-17 07:17:24

We refer to mine as 'the fuzzy savant' she can be ridiculaously clever but is also dumb as anything.

She jumps on the bed when I wake up and rolls over for a belly rub and then 9/10 times she will continue to stretch out until she falls off.

We refer to summer starting as 'the first donk of summer' as when it's warm she does the same rolling over and showing her belly on the path and donks her head - several times a day.

But she can be incredibly clever, the laser pointer she just came up to me and tapped it as if to say 'I know what it is'.

he has the street convinced she is a stray starving kitten.

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 22-Mar-17 07:20:56

'the first donk of summer' grin

YesItsMeIDontCare Wed 22-Mar-17 07:26:54

Leroy can be either. Sometimes he can be a bit thick - rolling off the bed with a startled expression on his face/jumping in to a precariously balance cardboard box/trying to get in to a box that's too small... etc.

But, despite being the size of a small panther and a bit fat, he's a real stealth ninja. He can hear you think about going outside. He knows exactly how to get what he wants with a little purr, a chirrup, a mew... or a whack round the ankle with a paw!

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 22-Mar-17 07:42:28

He's gorgeous. Like a king.

Bibi can hear you think about going near the fridge.

Toddlerteaplease Wed 22-Mar-17 09:59:02

Hmm really struggling to identify any signs of genius'ness in my two. Though they have learnt how to spend my money. My parents cat has tricked my parents into thinking he's thick when he's actually very clever.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Wed 22-Mar-17 10:11:24

bibi is gorgeous...my first cat was a B&W/tuxedo cat, he was also smart as a whip, obsessed with me, jealous of dh, and so so talkative, I've never know a cat be so conversational

now I'm landed with idiotcat and his sister, but it's not the same! I adore them obv, as any good cat minion should but I still miss my first boy!

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 22-Mar-17 10:14:25

Maybe its the B and W genes!

Ollivander84 Wed 22-Mar-17 22:12:35

Stable cat. Part Siamese, came as a feral to keep the mice under control
Not only is she the least feral cat I've ever met, she's got the mice, dog, horses and humans all firmly under the paw
Hunts voraciously, eats everything. Mice, bunnies, birds and was eyeing up a deer hmm
If you don't pick her up the minute she wants, she climbs up you (with claws) and perches on your shoulder
Will cuddle purring then flip, smack you around the face and attack confused
Ate about 50 paracetamol, shredded every human she could at the vet and survived much to the vets dismay bemusement
Eats all the human food, favourite is any form of soup, has also taken to clambering on to a horse to sleep. The dog is petrified of her blush

MycatsaPirate Wed 22-Mar-17 22:24:25

We have four cats.

Boy cat is actually pretty bright, he can hear the carving knife from four gardens away and skids through the house at lightening speed to arrive at your feet with imploring eyes while you carve dinner. And he always gets some.

However, if a door is slightly open (say an inch), he will just endlessly nudge it with his nose and paw for fucking ages until he can get through the gap. Girl cat 2 has even got fed up with his faffing and she will just stand on her back legs and push the door open for him.

This is the height of girl cat 2's intelligence sadly. She is permanently startled and bewildered. Spends hours chasing a fly around the house (although her catch rate is quite good) and then leaves the bodies lying about.

Girl cat 3 is our newest. She also looks at doors with something close to confusion if they aren't open enough to get through. She just sits and looks at them like they will magically open on their own. This doesn't stop her clawing at my wardrobe door every night in her attempts to find Narnia though.

Girl cat 1 is the brightest. She keeps out of the way of the others, taps you politely for a cuddle and has the sweetest face ever.

Weedsnseeds1 Thu 23-Mar-17 00:21:32

Mine is quite bright. He knows a few basic commands ( up, down, sit, roll over, paw and bed time) answers when called. He observed the installation of the cat flap with great concentration and then used it imediately. He can open doors as I have the old fashioned thumb operated latches. He cannot operate the Dreamies dispenser ( or chooses not to). He could also work as Leroy's stunt double if ever required!

cozietoesie Thu 23-Mar-17 00:48:28

Firstcat was the brightest Siamese I've ever encountered - which is going some. He was also, despite having a fine conceit of himself, an abject coward. (Unusual for a Siamese.) I've sometimes wondered whether the two were connected. grin

Broken11Girl Thu 23-Mar-17 01:44:22

Madam BrokenCat is bright. She runs over if I come in with shopping, and sniffs the goods. Recognises cat food, chicken or fish and indicates approval.
Loves to play, but is too lazy - sits there until I swish the toy near enough that she deigns to catch it.
Hides under furniture when she wants treats, because I foolishly used treats to get her out when I first got her, as she was nervous and hid at the slightest thing. Rod, back, own. I know I'm being a soft touch but she does the big-eyed 'I'm scared' face so well...clearly isn't as she runs out when she hears the packet being opened grin
Pats me with a delicate paw when she requires attention. If I dare to be busy, the claws come out, and she then resorts to putting her front paws on my shoulder and wailing in my ear.
I love the furry little fecker grin

Broken11Girl Thu 23-Mar-17 01:46:49

Madam with favourite toy.
'MINE, hoomin slave'.

Broken11Girl Thu 23-Mar-17 01:57:40

She is also very vocal, I swear she wishes she could speak hoomin, but she expresses her needs / wants/ mood very clearly.
Oh and she races me to the sofa or moves as soon as I get up, just to sit in my spot to piss me off grin

iloveeverykindofcat Thu 23-Mar-17 06:40:17

*
Hides under furniture when she wants treats, because I foolishly used treats to get her out when I first got her, as she was nervous and hid at the slightest thing. Rod, back, own. I know I'm being a soft touch but she does the big-eyed 'I'm scared' face so well...clearly isn't as she runs out when she hears the packet being opened*

That is smart!
I always say Bibi can almost speak English words.

WingsAloft Thu 23-Mar-17 06:58:11

I don't know about normal genius but I'm sure one of my fosters is an evil genius. She's worked out that exfoliating my nose with her tongue at 5am is guaranteed to wake me up. In the rare event that I can resist that pain, she moves on to my eyelids.

Yesterday she discovered one of my clothes drawers slightly open and entertained herself by fishing out every item she could reach. I came in to discover hats, gloves and singlets strewn across my room.

EachandEveryone Thu 23-Mar-17 08:40:06

I'm still fascinated by my friends Irish dancing rag doll I've never seen anything like it.

iloveeverykindofcat Thu 23-Mar-17 13:47:39

Ate about 50 paracetamol, shredded every human she could at the vet and survived

[SHOCK]

cozietoesie Thu 23-Mar-17 13:48:58

That's Stablecat for you. grin

cozietoesie Thu 23-Mar-17 13:53:41

She'd be putty in The Lodger's hands, though. grin

Ollivander84 Thu 23-Mar-17 18:14:37

Yes the vet did say well half a paracetamol can be fatal, I don't know why she's alive and I've never seen a cat survive that, please take her home and don't come back. Ever

FunkinEll Thu 23-Mar-17 20:30:23

My girl cat is the clever of my duo. She was the only one of her litter of 7 in the rescue centre who worked out the cat flap. She's recently started to jump for closed door handles. She's only 5ish months old. Does this make her terribly advanced?! wink

Boy cat is the oppposite, just a fluffy gorgeous fluff ball.

dudsville Thu 23-Mar-17 20:36:13

I LOVE that beeb says "hmrrr" in greeing! I'm a little tempted to adopt that myself!

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