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Unhappy cat do we rehome or keep going

(7 Posts)
Twinkletowedelephant Sun 19-Mar-17 08:31:47

Short story

Got cat
Cat ran away
Got dog
Cat came back
Cat dosn't like dog or children spends life in one room hiding under bed.
Should we

rehome dog as cat was here first
Rehome cat
Keep going the way we are with cat living in dd bedroom ( it's been nearly 2 months) and bringing dog in to meet cat - dog really couldn't care a less hoping one day a mutual truce is called and we can all live happily ever after.

Long story

We had bcat from a small kitten, she wasn't very friendly from early on she would hide from the kids and spend all day under our bed then come out after the kids had gone to bed..
We moved house kept her in for a month then let her out.
She is attacked by a few large intact males
She spends more time under the bed.
She was run off by neighbours cat and disappeared over back fence -despite looking and posters no sign of her.
Quite a few cars are killed on the roads here and the council collect bodies but do not scan for microchips we also have quite a few foxes... sad
After 3 1/2 months we conclude bcat is not comming back and agree to the DC's plans to get a 🐕.
She has a huge impact on all of us and the kids have loved playing and taking care of her.
Fast forward 3 months and bcat came back 😀. We are all so happy she's filthy and skinny but home.

But bcat really dosn't like dog, still didn't like children and simply won't leave DDS room, she will come out for a fuss from dd and sit on windowsill but runs under bed if dog or children come in room - dog is indifferent to the cat... Cat creates all kinds of 'fuck off' noises from under the bed
Which leaves us with our problem, should we try to rehome dog? As we had cat first... Or rehome cat to a home with no young children or dogs ( she's a fuss hound for adults)
Or just keep going hoping the cat will eventually leave the bed cave, and accept dog???

Hurleygirl123 Sun 19-Mar-17 08:40:29

Oh dear... I sympathise with you, if cat has chosen this solitary confinement for long while I would tend to think she won't change her mind now... Just sounds like it's cats personality and she won't ever relax and be happy in the environment with the dog? Could you rehome her with an elderly person, or just anywhere with no kids /dogs?
In contrast our cat is an insolent, greedy little git who takes great pleasure in lording it over our 2 dogs..he steals their food and their bed..little monster 😁. Good luck!

PaperdollCartoon Sun 19-Mar-17 08:43:30

Have you tried Feliway to help her feel more calm? Or spoken to a vet? Ours have just recommended a special chill out food for one of our cats who has a 'nervous disposition'. Sounds like she's had some trauma out in the wilds. Maybe in time she will relax but I'd consider trying to get her some more help before rehoming.

Twinkletowedelephant Sun 19-Mar-17 08:51:12

We have plug ins on the landing, not in DDS room as they irritate her.
Bcat hates catnip and any good that isn't posh wet food or iams

fenneltea Thu 23-Mar-17 20:50:25

I think I'd try forcing the situation a bit, if the cat is constantly hiding away then it isn't going to adapt to living with the dog and children.
I'd move her downstairs so she has to interact a bit, but give her plenty of high up hidey places where she can feel safe. Id also try to leave the dog in a crate in the same room so that she learns to feel safe. I wouldn't let the children play or cuddle with her as she is obviously overwhelmed and stressed, but getting them to just go in, feed her a favourite treat and then leave her alone might help, building up to playing with something like a da bird toy where she doesn't have to be touched can be useful.

She's obviously had some very traumatic experiences, and it will take time and patience to rebuild her trust, but I do think it can be done, as long as you take it slowly and stretch her boundaries a tiny bit at a time.

HermioneJeanGranger Fri 24-Mar-17 09:01:40

Forcing the situation will just make the cat even more stressed.

Does the cat have high-up places it can escape to away from dogs/kids? Not under a bed but on a shelf/scratching-post?

Mermaidinthesea Tue 28-Mar-17 19:09:07

I think you should rehome the cat. I had one like that who despised my other two cats and it went on far to long - years. We were all miserable.
I have rehomed her with a batchelor friend who lives in a wood with no kids and she is as happy as larry.
100 times happier than she was here and my friend adores her.
My other cats are also super happy so it has been a success all round. Your cat isn't happy, rehome her without children or other pets.

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