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Cats - Twats?

(26 Posts)
RubbishMantra Thu 09-Mar-17 06:32:17

Just had to march and crawl around the house, following the puke noises which woke me, finding and clearing up the trail of sick. Do they do it on purpose? Then he demanded cuddles by stomping around on me, (he's a hefty beast) which I know will end up in me getting bitten if I dare to even breathe.

At least the very noisy up-chuck noises woke me up. Better than the surprise of standing in a squishy, cold green hairball.

MCat now calmly and happily checking out the view from bedroom window. Twat.

TizzyDongue Thu 09-Mar-17 06:35:35

Ah, he wasn't well, and had an awful time so wanted a cuddly.

Now he's fine.

Clear up after him slave ya big meanie!!

RubbishMantra Thu 09-Mar-17 07:20:24

He's now giving me the Paddington Hard Stare..

TizzyDongue Thu 09-Mar-17 08:18:15

He knows you complained about him. You thought bad thoughts about a higher being and deserve his distain.

Rightly so too.

RubbishMantra Thu 09-Mar-17 08:33:59

I feel bad about calling him a twat now. I shall apologise to Lord of Random Vomit when he comes in from his pre-breakfast jaunt. the twat grin

aprilanne Thu 09-Mar-17 08:38:37

my cat did the same this morning but i sorted him out with some lovely beef flavoured anti furball gel which he hates .he is now sitting his fat ginger behind in front of the computer while i am trying to to do write this giving me hiswwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwds sad wee face see what he done the wally .

TizzyDongue Thu 09-Mar-17 09:10:25

My cat has never brought up a hairball (well in the house anyway). He's 2; should I worry that one morning I'll wake to find I'm blocked in due to a giant hairball?

Toddlerteaplease Thu 09-Mar-17 09:45:17

Someone once suggested that alarm clocks should make the pre puke plumbing sound, as no other sound gets you out of bed quicker! Fatty is giving me evils this morning. Do t know what I e done!

Trustyourself2 Thu 09-Mar-17 10:20:52

Mine did the same this morning. Cats can sometimes be arseholes. He's now sitting on my lap pawing me for rubs.

He's a very old man. Took him to vet for check up yesterday and lovely vet told me that he has osteoarthritis, a sore throat, needs to drink milk for calcium and possibly has renal problems. All of this on top of his existing megacolon, hyperthyroidism and split personality. It never ends........

Eatingcheeseontoast Thu 09-Mar-17 10:23:44

Stepped on half a mouse this morning - no idea where the rest is. He's a twat.

OmaDesala Thu 09-Mar-17 10:30:47

Mine woke me the other morning by puking on the bed FFS. what a cunt, -- I did call it a cunt to its face--

Allergictoironing Thu 09-Mar-17 18:03:28

Still waiting for my first dreaded hairball, doing my best to stave off the awful inevitable day by alternating their indoor dry food (with some anti-hairball properties) with specific anti-hairball food.

Botcay does have a habit of occasionally bolting his food then throwing up almost immediately afterwards - but half the time either he or his sister decide the resulting gloop will make a perfect snack envy (not envy, but sick!)

Iris65 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:31:52

Just cleaned up Kitty's pile of vomit which I hadn't noticed as she did it under the dining room table on a carpet the exact colour as her grassy chuck up. I think she planned to leave it there until it became a vile smelling patch on the carpet which was impossible to eradicate. I got to it though! She sat and watched me scrubbing the carpet while licking her paws with an air of insouciance. Cheeky.

SapphireStrange Fri 10-Mar-17 15:57:56

They are twats. They get away with it because they're beautiful and they can purr.

RubbishMantra Fri 10-Mar-17 16:54:29

The worst is when you get woken up by the being sick noises. Then you have to hunt the sick. Sort of a really unrewarding treasure hunt.

Allergictoironing Fri 10-Mar-17 17:00:14

Boycat has perfected the art of the almost-silent upchuck, so you never know he's done one until you come across it - ideally NOT by stepping in it shock.

Londonjam Fri 10-Mar-17 17:03:41


I was on a video conference call working from home the other day and the cat started hocking up on the rug. Dashed across room to get him off the rug and he jumped up onto the sofa - getting sick all over the arm, floor, back and seat of the sofa as he went.


mycatloveslego Fri 10-Mar-17 17:07:25

One of mine woke me up at 3.30am yowling. Was he hungry? Nope. Thirsty? Nope. Needed the loo? Nope. Just bored. Little sod.

RubbishMantra Fri 10-Mar-17 20:12:53

Or the cat sandwich. You have a cat either side of you, taking up 75% of the bed, and you don't want to move in your tiny bit of the bed because it might upset them.

TheMysteriousJackelope Fri 10-Mar-17 20:17:54

Our cat wakes me up at any time from 4.00 a.m. until 5.00 a.m. every, single, morning. Sometimes she wakes me at 2.00 a.m. and then again every 20 minutes until 5.30 a.m. Then she sleeps the whole day.

She is disabled so meows up the stairs, loudly. When I come down she screeches with displeasure at me, runs to the kitchen to look up where her treats are stored. When I give her treats she gives a sort of satisfied growl as if to say 'Well done lowly serf'. Alternatively she glares at the front door until I open it. Then she looks with disgust at the cold night. The front door has a large glass panel in it. I seriously think she doesn't know how windows work and thinks it should be sunny day time out there in the middle of the night.

I am just waiting for the clocks to change so I can wake her up.

Trustyourself2 Fri 10-Mar-17 21:18:34

I'm currently being hollered at by the old duffer, cos he wants more tuna on top of the 2 bowls of tuna he's already had today, as well as countless prescription biscuits & Go Cat!

Trustyourself2 Sun 12-Mar-17 23:26:14

HELP, I'm being attacked by a cat-kangaroo. She's lying on my lap and has a hold of my typing arm and is kick boxing me!

Little brat.

RubbishMantra Mon 13-Mar-17 10:47:49

Ah, the classic, "I'm going to practice disembowelling on you" move.

It's terrifying when MCat sits on my lap, I know for certain it will end up with him sinking his fangs into my hand if I dare move. A doctor even glanced at my hands once, and enquired about self harming!

WellWhoKnew Mon 13-Mar-17 10:54:04

Fatboy was enjoying his mid morning romp around the garden, before charging into the kitchen, up-chucking spectacularly, then charged out again.


He's having a fight with next door's cat now. <sigh>

RubbishMantra Wed 15-Mar-17 15:33:24

Little M doing a Bieber. Poking at things and saying,

"What noise will this make?
If it's crashed to the floor and smashed into pieces,
With my pokey paws.
Watch me please, as I laff at my hoo-ooman clearing up the mess. But love me plea-eeaese!
Cos I'm "sooorrry"!

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