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Which is the kinder way?

(31 Posts)
MistressPage Mon 13-Feb-17 10:55:40

Our cat is rather elderly and has recently been looking like she might be on her last legs. She is barely eating anything, will accept a little bit of ham or a few licks of cream, but nothing else and has got very skinny. She is just lying on a cushion, breathing seems quite rapid but she doesn't seem to be distressed or in pain. We are thinking we need to take her to the vet but worried it's probably a one way trip. If she is fading, is it kinder to let her fade quietly at home in comfort, as there is no visible distress, or to stress her out with a car trip and then euthanise her. I'm a bit torn as if she is on her way I want her last days to be as happy and comfortable as possible. Any thoughts?

WingsAloft Mon 13-Feb-17 11:01:53

If she seems comfortable I'd leave her where she is. It sounds like she will have a peaceful passing. Does your vet do housecalls should it become necessary?

QuestionableMouse Mon 13-Feb-17 11:05:19

Phone your vet and ask them to do a house call. Faster breathing can indicate distress. Sorry you're going through this.

timtam23 Mon 13-Feb-17 13:45:32

Sorry to hear she's not well. I would take her to the vet or see if they would come to you. I wouldn't leave her to die as she is - cats rarely show when they are in discomfort or pain so although she looks calm she may well not be. Also if she's not drinking and very skinny, she may well be developing kidney failure and that's not a peaceful way to die at all.

cozietoesie Mon 13-Feb-17 13:52:19

I agree with timtam. I'm sorry she's not well - but I think you have to be very clear-headed in this sort of situation. Cats have no foreknowledge and she does in fact sound a little distressed. It ought to be all about her now.

NotYoda Mon 13-Feb-17 13:54:49

My vet told me they rarely go peacefully. And she said that kidney failure is very painful.

I am so sorry. Had mine PTS in the summer (20)

MistressPage Mon 13-Feb-17 14:06:24

Thanks for the advice. I've booked her in, poor old girl.

cozietoesie Mon 13-Feb-17 14:08:53

Poor old lass. It's hard even when it's the right and loving thing to do.

OneWithTheForce Mon 13-Feb-17 14:11:08

Ahh poor pet. When you take her in, take her on her cushion so at least she is comfy and it's familiar.

NotYoda Mon 13-Feb-17 14:13:39

We took pictures of ours, before we went and asked the vet to cut off a tiny bit of fur for us to keep. This helped us prepare and grieve

YesItsMeIDontCare Mon 13-Feb-17 14:14:37

Not poor-old-girl at all. Beautifully loved and cared for right to the very end old girl. As awful as it is for us, it's the right thing to do for them. I had to say farewell to my old boy just over a year ago and I'm not going to pretend I don't still cry occasionally, but I did the right thing for him.

Lots of love, sympathy and strength to you OP. Take comfort in the fact that she had a wonderful life with you. flowers

Lancelottie Mon 13-Feb-17 14:18:01

Is it too late to ask the vet to come to you?

Huge sympathy. Our 20-year-old cat was PTS at home last summer, very gently, on her rug in the kitchen.

cozietoesie Mon 13-Feb-17 14:18:06

That's a fair point, Yes.

Weedsnseeds1 Mon 13-Feb-17 16:00:02

To be honest it sounds as if she's I'll enough that she won't get upset by the car trip, but if vet can come to you maybe that's the best thing. I think PTS is probably the right think, don't leave her to die "naturally", cats don't show pain well and kidney failure isn't a nice way to go.

Roundincirclesagainandagain Mon 13-Feb-17 16:08:51

I had my beautiful boy PTS yesterday. He had kidney disease. It was only the last hour he started to show any distress I couldn't leave him to suffer. I wrapped him In a towel and took him the the emergency vets. Hardest thing ever and I've not stopped crying all day. Thinking of you Xx

Wolfiefan Mon 13-Feb-17 16:10:51

Cats don't just simply fade away in a pain free manner. I'm sorry you are facing this but you are right to contact the vet. And I'm afraid cats often hide pain really well. We were shocked when a check up revealed bloody awful arthritis on old girl. We had no idea.

NotYoda Mon 13-Feb-17 16:12:41

I had no idea until recently that cats sometimes purr when they are in distress. As if to calm themselves I suppose

Sorry for your loss Roundincircles. It's very raw.

mistermagpie Mon 13-Feb-17 16:19:39

You've done the right thing. My old boy was quite poorly (liver failure) and still seemed 'ok'. When I finally made the decision to take him to be PTS after he deteriorated, they gave him a sedative before the PTS medicine (don't know what it is) and just seeing his body relax made me realise how much pain and discomfort he must have been in, and yet you would never have known it. They are stoical bunch, cats.

I hope everything goes ok with the appointment, its a very very sad thing, but know that you are doing what's best for her.

MistressPage Mon 13-Feb-17 17:57:08

Thanks everyone. I'm feeling a bit guilty. She hasn't had quite as many cuddles since the baby came along. And I had to put her food out in the back porch when he started crawling. And she was so good and patient with him, even when he was learning to be gentle with her. I think I'll take her to sleep on our bed tonight.

viques Mon 13-Feb-17 18:10:12

hi Mistress Page, sorry you are facing this, I think quite a few of us have lost our cats over the last weekend. I hope you have managed to make an appointment with your vet ,hopefully for tomorrow, honestly, it is better to be a day too soon than a day too late.

if you think your girl has reached the point of no return then letting her fade away when you don't know if she is in pain is taking a bit of a risk, rapid breathing would suggest to me that she is starting to get stressed ,apparently when cats stop eating they quickly develop a problem with their digestive system which more or less shuts down.

I wouldn't worry too much about the lack of cuddles post baby, a cat will take itself out of the way when it wants, and come backwhen the coast and lap space is clear ,so I am sure she will have been getting the cuddles she wanted!

viques Mon 13-Feb-17 18:13:01

Sorry, just saw your post where you said she was booked in. enjoy your last evening with her. I told mine it was Dreamie Day on Saturday and she was allowed as many as she wanted and what is more didn't have to wrestle them out of her Dreamie mouse toy.

MistressPage Mon 13-Feb-17 18:31:23

Aah that's sweet Viques

timtam23 Mon 13-Feb-17 21:30:17

Glad to see you've booked her in. I know how hard it is (had to do the same with my 2 oldies) but I'm sure you're doing the right thing. And with my old girl (kidney failure) I left it a few days too long and her last 24-48 hours were very difficult, can't think about them much even now 4 years on. Best to have it a bit more planned like you have done, make a big fuss of them & have some reasonably good memories as the last ones. Good luck for the appointment flowers

hapagirl Mon 13-Feb-17 23:33:07

Have a good last night with your kitty. You are doing the right thing by her though I know you feel awful. Good luck tomorrow x

Roundincirclesagainandagain Tue 14-Feb-17 06:17:29

Let us know how you get on? We are, or have recently, gone thru the same so we are like a little support network x

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