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Girl cat attacking boy cat when he's been outside

(20 Posts)
PosiePootlePerkins Tue 07-Feb-17 18:08:19

Could do with some thoughts/advice about this. We have two rescue cats, both aged around 3 and a half, they've always been together and have been with us for 5 weeks now. We've started to let them out in the day when we're around. Boy cat is very keen to explore, has been going off for anything between 30 mins to an hour before coming back in again. Girl cat is much less confident but has done a bit of exploring, probably for only 10 mins or so at a time before she comes back.
Girl cat has stared to attack boy cat when he comes back in. Not play fighting, proper hissing/jumping on him. She's much smaller and he doesn't seem overly bothered or physically hurt, but obviously its not ideal. She has also on a couple of occasions done a wee on the back doormat while he's been gone.
Do you think she feels threatened? Just generally anxious? We don't think they've had much access to the big outdoors before, and we do have a large garden so maybe its all a bit overwhelming for her?
Not sure how to move forward.

squeak10 Thu 09-Feb-17 16:59:38

Probably because he smells different when he returns from his puruse of his new estatesmile. I have 3 boy cats and a girl, she is the youngest but will happily put them in their place as they come in the cat flap. She will settle, maybe just telling him off for leaving her.

PosiePootlePerkins Thu 09-Feb-17 17:51:28

Thanks squeak you're probably right, I feel a bit sorry for him, he's really enjoying the outdoors then comes home to a beating! Fingers crossed it does settle soon.

squeak10 Fri 10-Feb-17 10:07:20

Poor boy, hope it settles soon

RubbishMantra Fri 10-Feb-17 16:02:09

I agree with squeak, it'll be most likely because he's bringing in unknown smells.

MCat always has a bit of a hissy, sweary flounce when Little M comes back from the vet.

His demeanor may've changed a bit - sort of like "Look at me, I'm Charlie Big Potatoes, and I've been on the Brave Biscuits", sort of thing.

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 10-Feb-17 20:01:29

Now you've mentioned it, she does sniff him before whacking him! Mind you they both refused to go out today, too cold! I think girl cat would happily be a house cat. Maybe when the weather gets warmer they'll spend longer out and get a bit more used to the whole idea. Also I'll be able to potter a bit with them which might help to make it seem a bit more normal.

Wolfiefan Fri 10-Feb-17 20:05:02

Is he neutered? Could he be coming back smelling of his conquests?!

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 10-Feb-17 20:12:07

Yes he's neutered, don't think (but cannot be certain) that he's met any other females!

Wolfiefan Fri 10-Feb-17 20:32:14

Her bashing him probably translates to "where the fuck have you been!"
If she doesn't go far she may not appreciate him coming back smelling of things she finds scary.
Or maybe he's off finding yummy food and not bringing her back any!

PosiePootlePerkins Fri 10-Feb-17 22:05:25

Yes that all makes sense, thank you! Silly cats.grin

squeak10 Fri 10-Feb-17 22:57:58

Woolfie, grin she probably is

PosiePootlePerkins Sat 11-Feb-17 09:02:45

Bit of a breakthrough this morning, they both went out and she was a bit braver with her exploring. He came back in about 10 minutes after her, she stared at him with big eyes but didn't attack! Yay.

BlahBlahBlahEtc Sat 11-Feb-17 09:10:25

The peeing this is more of an anxiety thing in females, she's probably a bit worried about him given that they've (possibly) had it a bit rough and have always been together. She'll get used to it when she realises he'll come back.
She could also be a bit jealous.

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 14-Feb-17 17:24:22

Aaagh, further problems! Trying to get them to use the cat flap (they don't seem to have a clue so I'm guessing they've never used one) managed to gently 'persuade' boy cat to go throughsmile and he went out for a bit. When he came back, he came straight to the cat flap, I opened it a bit for him in the hopes he'd push it a bit with his head. Girl cat suddenly charged through the flap and chased him off! Poor boy wouldn't come back for an hour, I must have sounded like the crazy cat lady calling him, eventually shaking the dreamies packet did the trick, but he wouldn't come in until I shut her in the lounge. Even then she had a go at him when I reunited them. I wonder if she sees him as an intruder? She's known him her whole life, silly cat!
I have no idea how I am going to resolve this. I would love for them to just come and go freely during the day but that seems like mission impossible right now.
Am at home all next week for half term, any bright ideas to help improve things?

squeak10 Tue 14-Feb-17 18:58:56

Know its a bit chilly, presuming you in UK, but you could try leaving the door open for a bit. Then they can freely potter in an out

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 14-Feb-17 19:42:58

Thanks squeak I have done both, she still goes for himsad Thanks for the reply. I will keep persevering.

squeak10 Tue 14-Feb-17 20:20:49

Do they have a happy relationship when he hasn't been out? Sleep together, grooming each other, head rubbing?

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 14-Feb-17 20:29:47

They co exist quite happily, but are not bonded in terms of sleeping together/head rubs etc. They both have their own favourite sleeping places away from each other but in the same room. He grooms her occasionally, they do play fight, I wouldn't say they are extremely close but are mostly happy in each others company.

squeak10 Tue 14-Feb-17 20:57:30

That's good and positive, give it time they are stamping their territory in a comfy loving home, have you tried cat nip to chill her out or feliway?

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 14-Feb-17 21:05:07

I hadn't thought of feliway but yes that's a good idea thank you. She's not stressed at all in the house, I just think the whole venturing outside is freaking her out a bit and she's taking it out on him, almost as if he's an intruderhmm
I appreciate your replies and will keep persevering.

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