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How long did you wait before getting a new cat?

(39 Posts)
EmmaCourtney Wed 23-Nov-16 11:36:39

My lovely little cat died after being hit by a car last week. You were all so sympathetic and lovely about it - thank you. I was just wondering how long any of you who have lost cats have waited before getting a new one? I'm really cut up about Mattie's death. Today has been the first day that I haven't spent in tears. I miss her specific personality; but I also just miss having a cat around the house. A friend suggested that I should think about getting another rescue cat very soon - and that, although a new cat wouldn't be a replacement for Mattie, it would make the house seem less quiet. I'm a bit unsure. I don't want to resent a new cat for not being Mattie. But the house does seem really quiet (despite our three DCs!); and I keep jumping every time I hear a creak or a click, and thinking it's the cat flap. How long did you wait?

EarlGreyTeaAndToast Wed 23-Nov-16 11:39:01

2 years. But it's really very personal! And no length of time is right or wrong at all.

So very sorry 😞

TheHighPriestessOfTinsel Wed 23-Nov-16 11:40:20

I'm sorry to hear about Mattie.

When our last cat died, we only waited a week before getting another. The way I felt was that although CatOne was utterly irreplaceable, a vacancy had opened up for the position of Family Cat, and it needed filling. Our current cat is lovely, and very different from CatOne, and I like that.

EmmaCourtney Wed 23-Nov-16 11:42:37

Did you deliberately try and get a cat that looked different from CatOne? Mattie was a little black cat. I love black cats, and feel so sad that they're so overlooked in rescue centres by potential adopters. But I'm wary of getting a cat that looks similar to Mattie: I don't want to pretend to myself that we can replace her.

FrancisCrawford Wed 23-Nov-16 11:42:57

I lasted less than two weeks.
Was going to go local cat and dog home when I saw a ad in pet shop for an adult male black cat, whose owner had died. It had been there for quite a while.

I picked him up the next day. He was probably the most affectionate of all the cats I've owned.

ElizabethHoney Wed 23-Nov-16 11:44:09

A couple of (different) friends who lost cats nervously followed advice to get a new cat very soon afterwards. They had the same misgivings as you, but were glad they got the new cats, and found them a comfort.

They both also took the approach that had been suggested to a mutual friend of ours who had a baby after losing a child, of speaking to the new addition about their older 'sibling'. I'm sorry that it's an insensitive comparison and don't mean to suggest that the situations are on similar levels of tragedy, but tthe advice seemed to work so well even in a different situation.

"Ah, Sylvester, your older brother Jerry used to like being tickled under the chin too". It meant they felt less like they we're trying to replace or forget their beloved late cats.

mintthins Wed 23-Nov-16 11:47:22

We waited just over a week after DblackCat1 died. I was distraught, and swore I could never have another cat. We very deliberately chose a very different looking cat though. I has taken me over 20 years to have another cat the same colour. CblackCat2 is a very different character though!

TheHighPriestessOfTinsel Wed 23-Nov-16 11:47:29

Emma, not deliberately, but definitely subconsciously.
CatOne was a little, affectionate, old lady tabby.
CatTwo is a fierce black hunter type.

cozietoesie Wed 23-Nov-16 12:23:04

I always decide in the same way, these days. I know I'm going to acquire another Siamese when each one goes - I mourn them each intensely but for a shortish period - and that takes off any pressure and much of the emptiness. For me, it's just a question of who is coming to live with me and when.

I wouldn't rush to have any cat just to fill the very real cat-shaped hole. Your next cat will come along and - at the time - be almost inevitable. Just reassure yourself that you will be getting one but wait for the right one. It may be a week, it may be a year. But they'll join you. smile

Weedsnseeds1 Wed 23-Nov-16 12:37:33

Two months. I chose one that was nervous and black as he was thought difficult to re-home. He has turned out to be a very outgoing and affectionate cat.

PinkSparklyPussyCat Wed 23-Nov-16 14:36:59

DM waited 4 days before we headed off to Battersea. She swore she wouldn't have another cat but the cat shaped hole was too big. I can imagine I would be the same, no cat will ever replace Harry but I would want to give another cat the same sort of life he's had.

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 23-Nov-16 14:48:11

For me only a few days. I was still devastated over having to euthanize my young cat after an accident, but the shelter was having an open weekend so I went to look. A very sick, near emaciated, postpartum 8 month old female with the exact same markings as him chose me and demanded I take her home. She looked directly into my face as soon as I entered the corridor where her cage was, and meowed and meowed. I approached her and she purred, still staring. I asked to be let in and picked her up. She pressed herself into my chest and began to purr like a tractor. I took her home.

I had no idea how sick she was and we were in for a rough ride, but today she is a fat sleek happy queen (who I'm always trying to slim down a bit!). I will always miss my first boy - I have his collar and tag. But I don't think it makes much difference to the grief when you get your next cat, it just becomes one of the things we carry with us.

evilgiraffe Wed 23-Nov-16 15:31:15

Our beloved Stupidcat died a little over six weeks ago, I can't see us getting another cat for at least another year or two. She is sorely missed, and although I can see DH twitching for lack of a cat, it's not fair to bring one home when our DCs are both under 2.5 years old. When the children are a bit older we will have a family trip to the local rescue centre.

TroysMammy Wed 23-Nov-16 16:02:41

It's been just over 6 months since Troy died. I'm reluctant at the moment because it was exhausting. In the 5 months he was ill, vet appointments, emergency vet, 2 trips to Bristol, I hate driving far, medicating him 3 times a day, short staffed in work and working extra hours. I was so run down I had tonsillitis and still had to go to work.

I'm afraid to get another cat just in case it becomes seriously ill. Also I wouldn't want another black and white because it would hurt too much and no cat could replace Troy.

On the other hand it's nearly the 3rd anniversary of Troy's brother Barnaby being killed on the road. I drive past where I found his body twice a day. I never want to lose a cat like that again.

I love cats, love the pictures of them on MN but I'm not ready yet.

cozietoesie Wed 23-Nov-16 16:11:15

Some day you might be. smile

(Or someone will turn up on the doorstep and demand, with loud miaowing, that you take her in and feed her NOW! wink)

PosiePootlePerkins Wed 23-Nov-16 17:07:24

Three weeks! I actually posted on here about whether it was too soon, and was given plenty of encouragement! I hadn't intended to do it so soon, but returned our old girls food to the rescue charity and was met with 'Are you getting another cat? Have you seen Lottie?' I was then of course unable to get the picture of cat in the window out of my head.
As others said to me, if the time is right then you will know. I have no regrets, my new cat is completely different in both looks and character so it didn't feel as if I was trying to replace my old girl.
There will be a cat out there waiting for you to find it!

PosiePootlePerkins Wed 23-Nov-16 17:10:10

Ilove what a lovely story, your new cat definitely chose you!
flowers for all of you who have lost beloved cats.

Diamogs Wed 23-Nov-16 17:11:39

4 weeks (it would have been sooner but we had to go through the rescue centre's rehoming vetting)

Our gorgeous old girl will never be replaced by the two nutty cats that we are now slaves to but they certainly fill a cat shaped hole in our lives.

giveoverdo Wed 23-Nov-16 17:26:10

When our tabby cat died we missed having a cat around so much that we made an appointment with local rescue centre to go see what they had. I drove all the way there saying over and over to the kids that whatever cat we chose, I coudn't bear to have a tabby, it would be too much like trying to replace the irreplacable.

When we got there and walked into the large shed lined with individual pens, a tabby cat raced up to the wire netting, miaowing and desperate for attention. I went in and picked her up. She's been with us for 10 years now!

So I would say go with what you feel is right, but don't go with preconcieved ideas about what colour/type of cat you want - best let them choose you if possible smile

iloveeverykindofcat Wed 23-Nov-16 19:07:32

Posie The amazing thing the staff told me no-one so had so much as looked twice at her all weekend. Okay, so she wasn't looking her prettiest. But her personality was as bright as anything and now she's gorgeous too, so...their loss!

PosiePootlePerkins Wed 23-Nov-16 22:00:06

She is a lucky cat that you saw past her looks and gave her a loving home.smile

FairviewRosie Wed 23-Nov-16 22:07:03

My cat became seriously ill and had to be pts while we were abroad on holiday. My really lovely cattery lady dealt with it all (keeping me informed constantly). When we got back and I went to pick the carrier up there was an orphan kitten in itsmile. He's now 12

BikeRunSki Wed 23-Nov-16 22:11:14

10 months. It would have been sooner but we had a holiday booked. I sways said that the next cat would be about a year old female tabby. 2 days after we came back from holiday, an 11 month old female tabby popped on our local Blue Cross FB pAge.

Lonecatwithkitten Wed 23-Nov-16 22:30:55

I knew the beautiful girl was coming to the end of her life, when the tail less wonder turned up with 5 kittens in tow one night I was on call. I was the only person she trusted so the deal was done. They shared me for three months till the beautiful girl crossed the rainbow bridge.

cozietoesie Wed 23-Nov-16 23:07:59

Did you keep any of the kittens? smile

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