AIBU? - the cat edition

[FledglingFTB]

I love cats, to me they make a home. After a 10 year hiatus due to renting I can FINALLY get one again. DP is a dog person, and pretends that he hates cats, and that they're claw-y viscous beasts they are but he forgot the floofyness

Long story short. He's willing to compromise and let me get a cat, but will only consider a Maine Coon. Mainly because he googled them likes the way they look and their supposed dog-like tendencies.

I'm strictly an 'adopt don't shop' animal owner. The concept of buying a specially bred pet based on their looks feels a bit wrong tbh, and that's before you start to look at the prices people pay and the upkeep they require. Gimmie a mog any day, frankly!

I find it a bit unfair that he's placing these restrictions on one of the few things that I insist on within the home. For ref he has quite an imposing and time demanding hobby, that I've always supported and he works long hours. I've said that I'd take full care and responsibility for the cat, and when I pointed out that a MC needs more care (e.g. grooming) he said he wouldn't be willing to help, it's just the only cat he'll allow.

AIBU? Would love to hear from both sides - adopters and breeders

[Brontebiscuits]

What's his answer to your argument that he's not around much and isn't actually willing to help with the cat? A breed that is known to be 'like a dog' is no guarantee the one you get would be! he'd be better coming with you to some shelters and meeting a few young adult cats where you can get an idea of their personality.

[FledglingFTB]

That's what I've suggested Bronte I think he's just trying to put up barriers tbh. Maybe I'm being unfair for expecting him to have to live with one. I know so long as it's the right temperament he'd love one. He's just being bloody awkward

[Brontebiscuits]

Difficult one. Can you persuade him just to go with you to some shelters for a look?

I'd he just being difficult for the sake of it (which is a whole other issue of course) ?

[Brontebiscuits]

I'd = if

[SoupDragon]

What would you say if he insisted on getting a dog?

[YesItsMeIDontCare]

Get a rescue and tell him it's a Maine Coon cross.

Or dump him and get whichever cat you want.

[ryderandthepups]

I have a Maine and two rescue moggies. My Maine is a gorgeous boy but is much more gregarious than the other two. He's very friendly and great with kids, but definitely much more in your face than a regular moggie. His coat is so silky it doesn't need much grooming at all. He's very entertaining and wants to be centre of attention at all times though.

[SmokingGun]

I have a bengal who are also known for their dog like tendencies and he's HARD WORK! I do love him to it's be wouldn't be without him but I have never know another breed to be so boisterous and demanding. No one really gets the choice to ignore him/show him no attention when he wants it and I think Maine coons are the same to be honest

[FuzzyWizard]

I have a Maine Coon from a rescue (although I suspect she is more likely a Maine Coon cross). She is a lovely cat and I'm totally smitten with her but my experience and that of the other Maine Coon owners I know is that they are less different to other cats than a lot of what you read on the internet suggests. Yes, my cat is quite dog like in that she greets me at the door and follows me from room to room watching everything I do but my mum has a moggy that does the same. She also loves a vigorous belly rub, which I suppose is quite doglike, but I know another Maine Coon owner who says she'd lose a finger if she tried that with her cat. My cat is also incredibly food driven and was clicker trained within a week, but again I know moggies who have been quickly trained too. I'd say that my Maine Coon is more doglike in behaviour than the average moggy but apart from her voice (she makes weird coos and trills) there is nothing in her behaviour that I haven't come across in moggies before. I also know someone with a pedigree Maine Coon with much less doglike behaviour than my cat (who could well be a crossbreed). Just get a long haired rescue cat and pass it off as a Maine Coon. I think you are much more likely to get the sort of temperament you want by picking an adult rescue cat based on the assessment done by the rescue than by picking a kitten based on breed. There is far more variation in temperament within breeds than between them I think. If all else fails just ditch the husband. (I'm at least half joking)

[Fluffycloudland77]

There will be a Maine coon rescue.

The only trouble with active breeds is that they don't leave you alone. They can be hard work.

[Yawnyawnallday]

I'm sure that with a bit of googling rescue places outside your area (or within your area) you can find a Maine coon in need of rescue. Why not get a black cat as well - the opposite gender but both neutered or have two boys both neutered ( black cat and Maine coon). Black cats are cool and the last to be adopted- they have lovely personalities (ours even plays fetch!)

[Fluffycloudland77]

Or just do this. He's unlikely to pack a bag and leave because you bought a cute cat home.

[Wolfiefan]

Can you find a rescue that has a Maine coon like cat?! (Just a big tabby really !) I agree it's about temperament though and he might fall in love with something else.
How about a breed specific rescue? Burmese and Siamese aren't your usual "cats" but can be hard work!

[Weedsnseeds1]

My cat is very dog like and is a huge fluffy rescue moggie. I didn't choose him for these traits, in fact I picked him as the shelter thought he would be difficult to re-home being black and nervous. Once he came out of his shell though, he became the most cheerful, friendly cat you could wish for. He potters around after me, is clicker trained, plays fetch and flops over in front of you for a tummy tickle. I have been asked if he was a Maine Coon before, mainly because he's very large and very fluffy I think. He doesn't really look like one as he doesn't have that sort of square jawed face that MC have, but I'm sure you could fob your partner off with a similar looking cat. Once he is under the cat's spell you could admit the deception......

[orangebird69]

I have a maine coon. He's aloof and scratchy.... he does 'fetch' things when he's in the mood and is the size of a small dog but that'd about it. Although he is the most handsome cat in the world.

[billyzanescal]

Not really answering your question but a bit of shared knowledge.
I have a pedigree Maine Coone. Rescued from a folded breeding business. They are hard work to be honest. They aren't as dog like as people suggest but they still tend to look for trouble. They need constant attention. They will meet you at the door and make a very distinctive telephone shrill meow.
They aren't good outside and many suggest they should be a house cat. The cat may have other ideas. Outside their long coats can be left in a knotted mess and some Maine Coones can be troublesome to other smaller cats.
They can grow huge and I mean huge. I'm sure you've seen on google. These aren't quiet lap cats and can benefit from training to keep behaviour settled.

But then like any cat it's luck of the draw with personality. It isn't as reliable as dog breeds.

[FledglingFTB]

Soup we don't really have a lifestyle that'd support a dog. However I did say that we could try and find a way to get one if he was desperate, so long as he agreed to be on permanent pooper-scooper duty. Conversation hasn't come up again funnily...

[FledglingFTB]

Haha Fluffy that was my plan for the second cat.

[FledglingFTB]

Helpful to hear that all Maine Coons are not like their Google description. I've got nothing against them, they're gorgeous just not in our budget rn.

Christmas will put the breaks on adopting, as most places don't seem to allow it. So I think we will just have to visit a few centres and see if we can find the giant docile cat he requires.

[Lanaorana1]

You can get a MC from a rescue. So tell DP that, and then get the cat you want from a rescue.

Or, as wiser ladies have said, bin him and keep the cat.

[SoupDragon]

The dog question was kind of rhetorical really. However, you've put conditions on the hypothetical dog, just as he has put conditions on the cat.

My cats have all been rescues and I dont think I would consider a pedigree from a breeder. If my (hypothetical!) partner insisted on a pedigree, we would not be getting a cat.

[Autumnchill]

We have one that lives down the road and comes into our offices on a regular basis. Very friendly and nice until I try and move him off my keyboard!

My sister has had a couple of part Maine cats and they have been brilliant, a bit calmer.

[Allergictoironing]

However, you've put conditions on the hypothetical dog, just as he has put conditions on the cat.

Slight difference in the scale of the conditions SoupDragon. OP is happy to do all the work required for a standard moggy, and has put the condition that her DP does the work required for a standard dog. However her DP has specified one breed only that is particularly hard work to maintain, so rather like her demanding that he can only get an Afghan Hound (long silky hard to maintain coat) if he wants a dog.

[fledglingFTB]

Update: brought this great lug home yesterday. Rescue, huge, definitely some MC in him. I am

[fledglingFTB]

... and my supposed cat hating DP is besotted with him.