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Impending euthanasia

(25 Posts)
Onedaughteronecat Tue 08-Nov-16 12:23:56

Can someone help please? Our 9 year old Lilycat has been suffering with cancer since last July. She has been on steroids since then, but it is only giving her (and us) a false sense of wellness and we know it is only the steroids that are keeping her alive.

This week, Lily's coughing has got much much worse and she coughed up some blood. She has also taken to hiding herself away from us, which is not like her at all.

We know now that it is time for us to say goodbye to her. Our big problem is that we have a 10 year old daughter who sees Lily as her sister and is going to be absolutely devastated. How can we help her?

I've suggested to DH that we schedule a Friday afternoon appointment at the vets so that we all have the weekend to get our main grief out before we have to return to work and school. Should I let my daughter come to see Lily in her final moments or not?

What would we do with her afterwards? Has anyone buried a cat in their garden?

Thanks

AddictedtoGreys Tue 08-Nov-16 12:28:48

I used to work In a vets and some people brought their children, others didn't. I think it depends on how you feel your child would handle the situation, not only at the time but also after. Personally I feel that I would take a child of that age Into the waiting room if they really wanted to go, but not into the room to witness the actual euthanasia.

Wolfiefan Tue 08-Nov-16 12:29:58

I'm so sorry. I wouldn't let her be with the cat. Whoever is there needs to just focus on your at and try to stay calm.
It's only Tuesday. I'm really sorry but if your cat is coughing up blood and hiding away then I don't think this can wait until Friday.

cozietoesie Tue 08-Nov-16 12:39:31

I'd agree with Wolfie. Once you've made the decision, I'd go with it as soon as is practicable. It's all about her now.

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 08-Nov-16 12:41:57

I agree with Wolfie it does sound like its time to let her go. A word of caution, when I had my 18 year old cat put to sleep, it was not a peaceful experience. Sadly, although she was very poorly and the vet advised it was time, she fought the injection and she really struggled with her breathing st the end. I was distraught and wouldn't wish that memory on anyone. Still upsets me now.
I know some cats do just slip away but I just wanted to make you aware that's not always the case.
My boys said goodbye to our cat before I took her to the vets which I think was important to them.
We had our cat individually cremated which did cost around £100 but meant we could bury the box in our front garden where she loved to sit in the sunshine.
Good luck and flowers

ittybittyluna Tue 08-Nov-16 12:42:34

I work with children and while at that age they can seem very mature please don't take her in to be with the cat. Say her goodbyes at home and let that be it, that in itself will be traumatic enough, and at least then you can buffer and control the environment.

Unfortunately, while it is as painless a process as possible, it can be disturbing for an adult owner to be present at the putting to sleep of their cat as the cat may sometimes have an involuntary reaction or not drift off as you would imagine it to happen.

I would also consider taking her in to the vet sooner than Friday afternoon.

ittybittyluna Tue 08-Nov-16 12:44:31

We had our cat cremated and her ashes sit in a little engraved box in my little sister's house. Vets tend to be very sympathetic to your wishes with regards to the remains.

HeyMacWey Tue 08-Nov-16 12:46:50

When our cats were pts we all said our goodbyes in one room and dh went to another room with the vet to do the injection.
We brought them back home straightaway and buried them in the garden.
I agree you can't wait till Friday.
Your DD will be upset but will work through it. I'm assuming she's aware that the vast had cancer so it won't come completely unexpected. Perhaps tell the school teacher in the morning so they're aware.

Wombat87 Tue 08-Nov-16 12:50:49

I really feel for you. I don't have an answer but I hope you and your family work through it all together flowers

viques Tue 08-Nov-16 12:55:55

Please don't wait until Friday. speak to your daughter tonight. Make an appointment for tomorrow.

The last act of love you can give your pet is the one that hurts you the most.

Meemolly Tue 08-Nov-16 12:57:08

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I think we will have to put our 6 year old cat to sleep this evening too, I am just waiting for blood test results to confirm, she has kidney failure. I know my 8 year old will be devastated, he has been hoping (as we all have) that she will pull through, but she has got worse. We are so sad to let her go. Sorry that you are in this situation too.

Wolfiefan Tue 08-Nov-16 12:59:26

Oh Mee. Sorry for you too.
It's awful. And OP many do just slip away. It was the most peaceful end possible for my old girl. Wishing your poor cat peace and flowers for your family.

Onedaughteronecat Tue 08-Nov-16 13:01:42

Thank you for your wise words. My DD is aware that Lily has cancer so this won't be unexpected for her. She is quite a mature girl but I think I will take on board what you have all said and let her say her goodbyes at home. I don't anticipate going to the vets either. My DH can do that. I am certainly not strong enough.

I didn't realise individual cremation was only about £100. I expected it to be much more than that. I think that is our best option and then we can keep her little pot wherever we choose.

This is going to be so awful. My DD wanted a little brother or sister. This wasn't an option, so she got a Lilycat instead. She really is the most beautiful cat and we are blessed to have rescued her. She came to us from the RSPCA when she was 4 years old.

Onedaughteronecat Tue 08-Nov-16 13:04:00

Our Lilycat

Wolfiefan Tue 08-Nov-16 13:04:02

Oh OP. It really is so hard. It doesn't have to be unexpected to be painful. Lily is lucky to have had years with you and her human sister. flowers

ittybittyluna Tue 08-Nov-16 13:05:56

Oh gosh, so hard for you all. What a lucky cat to have been rescued by you.

PosiePootlePerkins Tue 08-Nov-16 13:28:54

She is beautiful. I am so sorry, it is so hard. flowers

Oldraver Tue 08-Nov-16 13:29:51

DS was eight when we lost a cat to RTA then 6 weeks later had to PTS his sister. Obviously with the girl we had a chance to saant to come goodbye and talk through with DS it being the best decision.

He came to the vets but stayed with OH as they didnt want to come in. We took her blanket so we could wrap her and bring her home. He asked to see her before we buried her and if there was anytime that was 'right' this was it. With the boycat he had been damaged and the council had wrapped him and we were advised not to view him, So DS didnt get to say goodbye..

Our last cat before that we had cremated in 2005 and it cost £180 altogether so it does vary

Meemolly Tue 08-Nov-16 14:18:07

She is beautiful. I'm so sorry. Our girl is going this evening as well. So sad. Our poor cats.

paap1975 Tue 08-Nov-16 14:31:57

Hello. Firstly, I'm so sorry, I've been in your shoes. Have you looked into have your cat PTS at home? Our vet did it for us. As for your daughter, I'd let her decide. I wanted to be there for my cat, upset as I was. The vet gave a tranquilliser, then the other injection so it was all very calm

cozietoesie Tue 08-Nov-16 14:38:14

Beautiful girl.

cozietoesie Tue 08-Nov-16 14:39:17

PS - I'm so sorry for you and yours also, Mee.

LivingInMidnight Tue 08-Nov-16 16:04:35

So sorry one flowers

We have three cats buried in the garden. The most recent one died in August and we planted her favourite plant above her. It's not a very easy thing to do though emotionally speaking. Sobbed through the whole thing every time and the logistics are more difficult than you'd expect. I'm glad we did it though because I couldn't bear to leave her at the vets.

I have to admit I'd always want to be there when they put the cat to sleep, but I do know that it's not for everyone and isn't always peaceful. Thankfully it was peaceful in August.

Onedaughteronecat Mon 14-Nov-16 09:43:40

Lily was put to sleep on Wednesday morning. It is by far the toughest decision me and my DH have ever had to make as this has not just impacted us, it has devastated our DD.

But our DD has been very brave and understanding and she knew that it was Lily's time. I went in to see her teacher to tell him. He was very understanding actually.

I couldn't stay in the room with the vet when he put Lily to sleep. It was too painful, so I said my goodbyes and then waited for my DH to come out after.

We have arranged to have Lily cremated and we shall put her in our garden (DD's choice) and then plant some sort of Lily tree over her in remembrance.

Sad sad times and this makes us not want to get another pet as it is so crushing when you have to say goodbye to them.
sad sad sad

cozietoesie Mon 14-Nov-16 11:36:41

It Is hard.

I'm very sorry for you all.

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