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Lost one of our cats. How to help the other?

(8 Posts)
diskdrive Sun 06-Nov-16 13:04:51

We sadly lost one of our 17 year old cats on Monday sad It's obviously been a really hard week for us all and our other cat (her brother) has benefited from lots of extra attention and love.

They were never particularly close - not the type to cuddle up together although he would have been more affectionate if she had let him. She had also been mainly upstairs in our bedroom for the last few weeks so he doesn't seem to be missing her too much doing the daytime although is a little clingy.

At night he has to be shut in the kitchen as had started being quite vocal and waking the children up (possibly a touch of dementia). We started to shut them both in there at night about 12 months ago (there is a sofa for him to sleep on and he has his food and tray - it's quite a big room) and this had seemed to suit him better and he was much more settled at night. However the last couple of nights he has started yowling really loudly in the early hours. I can only think that he is missing having her with him. I hate to think of him feeling lonely but can't let him upstairs as he would keep us all awake. Luckily I am the only one who sleeps lightly enough to hear him from the kitchen.

How can I help him? Am thinking of maybe leaving a radio on low? Have used feliway diffusers in the past so will try putting one of those in again. Is it just a case of taking time for him to get used to it? Am not sure if I am projecting my own grief onto him or if he really is sad. It's so hard sad

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 06-Nov-16 15:44:20

Foam ear plugs.

Luckyguess Sun 06-Nov-16 15:45:16

I'm so sorry for your lossflowersWe lost our beloved cat this morning very suddenly, think she had a stroke we are totaly devastated. I am now worried about her brother he is from the same litter. He will miss her terribly . Don't know how to deal with him.

diskdrive Sun 06-Nov-16 16:11:09

So sorry to hear you are going through it too Luckyguess flowers. Such a sad time.

cozietoesie Sun 06-Nov-16 16:14:03

I suspect that the large majority of cats don't miss their companion cats much at all. They may transfer that relationship to the humans in the family, though. Might seem 'closer' or more needy.

Is there any chance of having him sleep in your room, disk? That might be enough to stop the noise - e.g. he wouldn't feel lonely etc.

diskdrive Sun 06-Nov-16 16:31:07

Unfortunately he also has a history of peeing on a particular area of carpet in my room so I can't let him in with me. He's a lovely cat despite all his issues I promise!

You could well be right - I am not sure that it's her he's missing. I guess we have all been acting a little differently this week so maybe that is what's upset him and he may calm down now we are. Fingers crossed.

cozietoesie Sun 06-Nov-16 16:36:59

Does he have an upstairs tray? I recall that Twoago really hated going downstairs to his tray in the middle of the night but an upstairs tray soon sorted things out for him. smile

Shriek Sun 06-Nov-16 19:16:25

Id put a tray over old piss patch! And have him upstairs with you. or at least the option to, by not locking him in but keeping the dc door s shut.
Sincere commiseratuions forsad loss x

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