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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

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Join our community of cat lovers on the Mumsnet Cat forum for kitten advice and help with cat behaviour.

The litter tray

How do I get over losing my cat?

41 replies

justtheonethen · 03/10/2016 19:52

Had to have my lovely lad PTS on Friday and I'm devastated.

It was the right decision, he was really ill and there was nothing more we could do. He had a few long term illnesses which I have nursed him through when he was sick but he bounced back every time, this time he developed complications and deteriorated quickly.
His quality of life wasn't there any more so I know I've done the right thing, I'm just so sad for me, I miss him so much.

OP posts:

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HenRah · 03/10/2016 19:54

Hello
I know how you feel
Well done for doing it early enough - it's be easy making decisions for another being

You will never forget your cat by it does get easier xx

cozietoesie · 03/10/2016 20:00

There's little you can do right now, I fear. We've many of us been where you are now.

It becomes easier though, as Hen said.

Mincepies76 · 03/10/2016 20:16

We had our lovely old boy pts last November...he was 14 and part of the family. We lasted 24 hours before getting a kitten! I couldn't bear not having a cat to care for. It really helped us and the kitten brought us a lot of fun which was nice as old boy had been ill for a long time and we'd felt sad for a long time.
Still miss old boy but kitten is firmly part of the family. Wouldn't be right for everyone, but helped us.
I hope you feel better soon, it's so hard

CatsGoPurrrr · 03/10/2016 20:34

I'm so sorry for your loss.

When we lost our boy at the beginning of the year, I couldn't imagine having another cat, but the house was so empty, we went to a local rescu for a "look" and walked out with our lovely girl-cat.

She most definitely is not a substitute cat. We all love her, just how she is.

mineofuselessinformation · 03/10/2016 20:43

You did a brave and kind thing. You let your cat go, even though you knew it would hurt you.
I've had to do it and know how difficult it is.
I'm sorry you're so sad.

mineofuselessinformation · 03/10/2016 20:46

I should add, I had a dog I loved with all my heart many years ago.
He had to be PTS. Even now, I sometimes shed a few tears when I think of him, but I have never regretted the decision.
It does get easier in time.

justtheonethen · 03/10/2016 21:00

Thank you, you're all really kind. I can't imagine getting another cat but the house feels really empty.

It was the right thing to do, he was diabetic and had fiv which we managed for years but his kidneys and liver went so there was nothing else to do.

I just can't stop crying.

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 03/10/2016 21:05

I cried flat out for a week when Twoago died. Then I started the process of acquiring Oneago. (I know now that I'll always have a 'personal boy'. The hole in my life is too great.)

PosiePootlePerkins · 03/10/2016 21:08

I'm so sorryWe had our old girl put to sleep in July and it was just heartbreaking. You cared for him for all those years and gave him the best life you could have. And you made the hardest decision at the end, but the kindest one for your dear puss.
Are you going to have him buried/cremated? We buried our Molly's ashes in her favourite spot in the front garden with a little memorial stone.
Do you have any stories or pictures you would like to share?
Thinking of you at this difficult time. I still miss my dear old girl curled up on my lap.

Lindt70Percent · 03/10/2016 21:09

So sad.

Our lovely boy had to be PTS in January. I couldn't stop crying for ages. DD took it very badly too. I still feel a bit raw about it now. I wasn't sure I could ever have another cat but we got two kittens in July. They're fabulous but I still feel moments of guilt about them being in our old cat's space.

Penfold007 · 03/10/2016 21:09

I'm so sorry for your loss and do understand how you are feeling. It will ease with time. Recently lost our cat who was 17 and it's hard. We now have an 8 year old girl cat who needed a home urgently. She was unloved and unkempt but helped with our grief.

AnneGables · 03/10/2016 21:17

Your final act of love was to let him go .

My 14 year old cat was a huge part of the family, I cried so much for weeks, but it did ease with time. He will always be remembered and is irreplaceable. It took a while to remember him without tears, but we got there.

Lilacpink40 · 03/10/2016 21:20

Sorry for your loss

My DD (then 9yrs) and I put our cat's ashes under an apple tree and said a few words. DS was a bit young to understand and my then H didn't want to join in.

It's a very sad time, but getting another cat isn't being disloyal, it's sharing love for another cat. My previous cat and cat now were rescue cats. So it felt good to help another cat. A year on and my now cat runs the house is settled.

timtam23 · 03/10/2016 21:25

So sorry to hear about your boy

I had two 18 year old cats who I'd had from being little kittens, it was devastating when they both died. I still shed a tear occasionally 2 and 3 years on. We took in a stray kitten just before my first oldie died and he has been a great comfort. The oldies are never forgotten (I still have their ashes in little urns) but my young cat filled the cat-shaped hole in the household.

Fleekorunique · 03/10/2016 21:26

Im sorry, I know how much it hurts.

These people are great x
www.bluecross.org.uk/pet-bereavement-support

Vinorosso74 · 03/10/2016 21:28

So sorry for your loss. I was in bits when our last cat died. I didn't think I could cry as much. Looking back now we did what we could but he was too poorly. He wasn't the brightest cat but he was a sweetheart.
It did get easier with time (cliche I know). They leave such a big hole so cry away

justtheonethen · 03/10/2016 22:20

We buried him in the garden under his favourite tree, I couldn't bear to leave him at the vets. I sat and cuddled him whilst my dp dug the hole and we lit candles and cried when we buried him. I feel awful that he's out there on his own but I know I'm being crazy.

He was such a lovely boy, I know rationally it will get easier but I am a wreck. Here's a pic....

How do I get over losing my cat?

OP posts:

cozietoesie · 03/10/2016 22:32

You're not 'being crazy'. It's very hard.

Lindt70Percent · 04/10/2016 10:49

Not crazy at all. I was exactly the same with my boy (also buried under a tree in the garden). He'd been my constant companion for 18 years so it would have been odd to be anything other than distraught when he died. He was older than my children and so it was very hard for them who'd never known life without him.

It's taking me quite a while to stop going over his actual death and not to feel guilty. He was really unwell at the end.

Give yourself time. It's very early days.

AugustRose · 04/10/2016 11:19

We had to do this less than two weeks ago for our lovely cat Gizzy and it is so very sad when you have to make that decision. We buried her in the garden and I too worried about her being on her own, it's not crazy to think like that.

I still feel guilty and am reminding myself (with the help of the lovely messages I received from MN) that I did what was best for her to stop her suffering.

Sadly is just takes time to get used to the idea of them not being here

BorpBorpBorp · 04/10/2016 11:41

BorpCat2 died suddenly last week and it is awful. I cried buckets, especially during the burial - we also buried him under his favourite tree, and with his favourite toy. That part was really psychologically important for me, that he wouldn't be all on his own but would have something with him.

It helps to remind myself that there was nothing we could have done (the vet said so), and to picture the good times we spent with him, and to talk about all his little idiosyncracies. We still have BorpCat1, and we will be getting another cat soonish, as much for her as for ourselves.

It's not crazy at all to grieve. Your gorgeous kitty was a part of your family

ThatIsNachoCheese · 04/10/2016 12:00

It's so hard, I still miss my boy terribly. He died about 3 months ago, we did get another rescue cat but I have found that very difficult too, in hindsight it was too soon, but I was just so sad.
I'll always miss him but it is getting easier. New girl cat is more settled now which helps.

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lostscot · 04/10/2016 12:14

I'm so sorry for you but you made a brace decision for him.
We lost our gorgeous boy in the summer, he was only 3 and was just unlucky with a speeding car :-( our neighbour seen it and there was nothing that could be done for him. We all cried, the neighbours cried with us ( he had a very public burial!) and our dog missed him terribly. We rescued two kittens and they've filled a hole but we won't forget him, I'm welling up just typing this!

lostscot · 04/10/2016 12:16

I'm so sorry for you but you made a brace decision for him.
We lost our gorgeous boy in the summer, he was only 3 and was just unlucky with a speeding car :-( our neighbour seen it and there was nothing that could be done for him. We all cried, the neighbours cried with us ( he had a very public burial!) and our dog missed him terribly. We rescued two kittens and they've filled a hole but we won't forget him, I'm welling up just typing this!
This is him with our dog his best friend.

lostscot · 04/10/2016 12:19

I'm not doing very well here! Please excuse typos I've been up all night with poorly dd.

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