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Sad post: Dealing with loss. :(

(16 Posts)
teablanket Fri 19-Aug-16 12:58:51

The health of my dear 21 year old cat took a sharp decline this week. The vet said there was no chance of improvement. We put her to sleep last night.

I can't stop crying. I need to clean her fluff off the carpet for the last time, clean the litter tray and put it away, etc, but it's all too much. The house feels so empty and quiet without her. I feel so sick.

How long will it take it to stop hurting so much? sad

thecatneuterer Fri 19-Aug-16 13:32:05

I'm very sorry and I don't know the answer. Everyone is different.

However, after the initial grief, you should find it a comfort to know that she had a very long and happy life with you and a peaceful end. You will have no regrets and no distress that her life was cut short.

And in time you could consider giving a home to another rescue cat that hasn't been so lucky so far. You won't be able to replace her but you will be able to love another cat and to feel good knowing that you have changed that cat's life for the better.

paap1975 Fri 19-Aug-16 13:43:22

I think thecatneuterer has said it all. Sorry for your loss!

PinkSparklyPussyCat Fri 19-Aug-16 14:35:31

Thecatneuterer has said it perfectly.

I'm very sorry for your loss flowers

CatsGoPurrrr Fri 19-Aug-16 18:31:01

I'm so sorry for the your loss flowers


Vinorosso74 Fri 19-Aug-16 19:11:40

So sorry for your loss, they do leave a big gap. Thecatneuterer says it perfectly.
Am sure you have lots of happy memories.

veryproudvolleyballmum Fri 19-Aug-16 19:13:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PosiePootlePerkins Sat 20-Aug-16 06:58:10

I am so sorry for your loss. flowers We recently had to have our 18 yr old cat put to sleep and it was just awful. The house, as you say, felt horribly empty without her. Are you having her cremated? Is there somewhere special you could put her ashes or make a little memorial? I ordered a small stone from ebay which just had a picture of a cat, and I asked for 'RIP Molly' on it. We buried her ashes in the front garden where she loved to sit in the sun.
You gave your dear puss such an amazing long life. She is at peace now. If it helps I would love to see some pics of her.
Take care.

teablanket Sat 20-Aug-16 10:37:06

Thank you so much, everyone. We've tidied everything away for now -- except the litter tray! Of all the bloody things for me to struggle over removing!

She was a rescue. We only got her 5 years ago, when her previous owner passed away. We'd heard some dark stories about healthy cats being euthanised because of their age, so even though we weren't looking for a cat, we took her in anyway. She was lovely. If/when we decide to get another, it will absolutely be another rescue.

I haven't been able to bring myself to look at photos yet. I'm feeling a bit too fragile.

Thank you all so much for the kind words.

PosiePootlePerkins Sat 20-Aug-16 10:55:02

Ah she sounds lovely, and you gave her a wonderful 5 years, what a lovely way for her to spend her last years surrounded by love. When you're ready you'll be able to look at photos and think about the good times, but in the meantime let yourself be sad and look after yourself.

cozietoesie Sat 20-Aug-16 13:05:01

I'm approaching your own place. When my mother died, Seniorboy cane to live with us because we had a 'vacancy'. He was 14 at the time and not expected to make 15.

Now, he's still having a happy life 7 years later but I know it can't go on for ever. It's going to be very hard.

Take care.

cozietoesie Sat 20-Aug-16 13:05:54


Tillylils Mon 29-Aug-16 18:25:04

I understand how you are feeling. My 16 year old cat died a week ago and I am struggling. I got upset over the litter tray too, I could see her little paw prints in the litter.
I am still very tearful and missing her dreadfully. I just can't stop thinking about her.
I hope you start feeling better soon x

NotYoda Sun 04-Sep-16 14:06:35

Oh, I understand too.

We had our 20 year old PTS the the week before last. I cry unexpectedly. I totally get about the litter tray - seems silly but those were part of your routines with your cat

I nearly call out to her in the mornings when I come down to the kitchen (she couldn't her me anyway - she was deaf for the last few years!)

I wrote a letter to her and it helped me a lot - I sent a copy to a friend who I knew would understand and I'm going to read it when we scatter her ashes under her favourite bush - Maybe a ceremony would help you?

Wolfiefan Sun 04-Sep-16 14:10:12

You've lost a family member. You can't look at the pictures yet. But one day you will. At first you will look at them and cry (sobbing if you're like me) but one day you will look at them and smile. It takes time.
We lost our old girl over a year ago. The emptiness of the house and clearing her things away were awful. She was 19. We had her for 17 years. Having her pts was so hard but only saved her from suffering.

Lindt70Percent Sun 04-Sep-16 16:03:59

Oh, it's so difficult. I really feel for you.

We had to have our cat PTS in January. He was 18 and we'd had him since he was about 9 months old. He'd been fine until his last few days although, looking back, I can now see he had gone quite downhill in his last 6 months.

I had long bouts of crying every day for a couple of weeks. He used to sleep in bed with me so it was really hard not having him there. Clearing his litter tray away was the hardest. I think it sat there for a few weeks!

My daughter was 12 when he died and found it really hard as she'd never known life without him. She was really grief stricken to the point I had to contact school to let them know.

I still miss him now and feel real stabs of pain occasionally but I'm through the worst of it and have accepted it now.

I wasn't sure I'd ever feel up to getting another cat. We went to the cat rescue place in April and none of us felt ready. However, at the start of the school holidays we got 2 kittens. We decided to go for kittens rather than rescue because we've got dogs and thought it would be easier.

It's lovely having the kittens but I do still miss my boy!


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