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What questions do you ask your cat?

(63 Posts)
DesolateWaist Sun 12-Jun-16 10:20:43

Every day I demand that my cat answers questions like:
- are you my fuzzy baby?
- are you the fluffiest girl in the whole world?
- are you the most beautiful baby ever?
- are you my little tiny love?

No wonder she's always asleep when I demand so much from her.

What questions do you endlessly ask?

cozietoesie Sun 12-Jun-16 10:23:55

I wouldn't dare ask anything like that.

I might not like the answer! grin

Jokeaboutmyhotchoc Sun 12-Jun-16 10:26:13

I ask "why the fuck are you so annoying?"

love them really

dementedma Sun 12-Jun-16 10:27:44

What do you want?
Why are you such a bloody nuisance?

JeffersonCrisp Sun 12-Jun-16 10:28:01

-whats this for? whats the loving up for?
(usually get ignored for 23hrs and 55 mins every day)

Lolimax Sun 12-Jun-16 10:29:25

Where have you been? Why are you covered in dust? Aren't you the most handsome boys in the whole wide world? can't STILL be hungry?

Jokeaboutmyhotchoc Sun 12-Jun-16 10:33:19

Also - what in god's name do you want???

After food, cuddles, emptied litter tray, water and treats have still not stopped the following me round and yowling.

AthelstaneTheUnready Sun 12-Jun-16 10:35:03

where the hell did you get that from?

AsthmaAndAutism Sun 12-Jun-16 10:36:49

'Can you please stop licking the budgie?'

And to the budgie;

'Can you please stop trying to groom the cat? It's weird.'

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es Sun 12-Jun-16 10:37:18

Are you hungry again?!

Why do you leave so much fur everywhere?

What ARE you doing?

Ratbagratty Sun 12-Jun-16 10:37:57

Why aare you drinking out the fish pond, when you have water down?

NightWanderer Sun 12-Jun-16 10:42:50

Are you hungry?
Do you want out?

I dont now why i ask, the answers always yes.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Sun 12-Jun-16 10:45:07

did daddy give the baby his bweakisst?
is baby still hungry?
will mama give you more your bweakisst? is only breakfast that provokes the baby talk btw, and his cat sister never gets it as she is far too regal

she is referred to as baby girl/her highness

otherwise it's all just conversational
well why did you go out in the rain?
yes it is raining out the front!
is Phyllis in today? (idiotcat goes visiting)
were you a good boy?
have you been tormenting the birds today?
are you going to take up ALL the sofa/bed/dinnertable

did YOU eat the dogfood? Is that why he is looking sad?
why won't you share the sofa (giant six seater Lshape thing) with him
you being idiotcat and he being a 49kg GSD with impeccable manners.

cozietoesie Sun 12-Jun-16 10:45:57

You're being trained, Night. grin

FoxSticks Sun 12-Jun-16 10:49:37

Can you stop bringing mice in? And then letting them run free in the house angry

MephistophelesApprentice Sun 12-Jun-16 10:50:55

Is anyone else in the house?
Fine, I'll look for myself.

Has anyone fed you?
It looks like someone fed you.
OK, more food it is then.

Do you ever feel that self awareness is a horrible trick played by a primate brain that took the calculation of trajectories and over evolved it to the point of racial insanity, leaving a delusion of sentience to lie over a legacy of all but crippling anxiety and socio-tribal chaos?
Yeah, me too.

MrsBertMacklin Sun 12-Jun-16 10:56:45

Where's your ball?

I get more exercise from trying to find BertCat's feeding ball and wiggling under the sofa to retrieve it, than she does from pushing it around hmm

EarthboundMisfit Sun 12-Jun-16 10:59:21

Are you mamma's booful baby? mainly. My own children didn't get baby talk. Or posh names.

magicstar1 Sun 12-Jun-16 11:14:48

Which would you like...tuna or beef?

HyacinthBouquetNo1 Sun 12-Jun-16 11:21:29

Who is a little cutie pie?
How can you possibly be hungry all the time?
Who is my beautiful baby?

DesolateWaist Sun 12-Jun-16 11:25:07

grin at Meph.

I'm very lucky in that I only rarely have to ask 'why is there a live blue tit behind he kitchen cupboard' and 'why is there sick in my shoe'.

Generally I'm asking 'are you a happy baby?'

PurpleRibbons Sun 12-Jun-16 11:25:29

What is the matter?
Why can't you be quiet for five minutes?
Why is there fur everywhere?
Why are you always sick on the carpet and never the hard floor in the kitchen?

tigerdriverII Sun 12-Jun-16 11:26:52

Are you my baby girl, are you?
Are you wearing your fluffy back leg trousers?
Whose the best boy in the world?
Are you going to do squirmy wormy for mummy?
Who's daddy's best girl?

GastonsPomPomWrath Sun 12-Jun-16 11:30:40

Where have you been?
What's that smell?
Why did you do that?!
Why are you such a bloody nuisance?
Do you want to go and live in the garage?

grin I luffs them.

MilkTwoSugarsThanks Sun 12-Jun-16 11:31:29

Sadly departed now, but my boy was regularly asked

Who is mommy's bootiful babba boy den? Is it you? Is it? Are you mommy's bootiful babba boy?


What exactly the fuck is wrong with that food? You've been shovelling it down your furry face for the last 3 weeks! Why d'you wait 'til I've bulk bought it before going off it?


Can you get off mummy's face now please?

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