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The Shitten has started crapping on our bed again...

(57 Posts)
MrsSchadenfreude Fri 11-Mar-16 13:49:03

She is 4 years old now, and for the last two years (since we moved house) she has:

Pissed lavishly over a sofa, which we had to throw out

Shat in the hall regularly, on the bath mat regularly

Pissed on our bed, the kids' beds

Shat on the kitchen work surface.

For the last four or five months, she has been much better - we have had the odd turd on the bath mat, but nothing more than that, but over the past month or so, she has been shitting, regularly, on our bed. Where she and the other cat sleep. I am at the end of my tether with her. This is now almost a daily occurrence, and I am paying around £100+ per month to get the duvets cleaned. She is not (currently) peeing on the duvet, just shitting on it. (Not that that makes it better.)

We have a new sofa and I daren't let her in the sitting room unsupervised in case she ruins this one. I have had enough, but no idea what to do now. If I rehome her, she is likely to do the same at her new home, and end up back in rescue every few months as people get sick of living with cat shit and piss everywhere. But maybe she would be better if she could go outside?

She has been checked out by the vet, but not recently. She is on special urinary wet food, to help against cystitis, and special urinary dry food to counter stress. We have tried Feliway and she shits next to the diffuser. We have tried antidepressants, which just made her worse. We have two litter trays and have tried various types of litter.

She is a sweet little cat - not particularly affectionate, but has never scratched or bitten anyone. She is playful when it suits her, and entirely obsessed with food - she would eat all day long if she could, and is quite overweight.

I don't know what to do next, and I don't think the vet will either. I could confine her to the bathroom and litter tray while I am at work (she's an indoor cat). She and the other cat currently only have access to our bedroom, two bathrooms and the kitchen during the day. It seems unfair to restrict the other cat's access further. I have tried three litter trays and one didn't get used, so I got rid of it.

Does anyone have any ideas? We are only a short distance from Battersea, and I am so tempted just to take her there and say, please rehome her. I cannot take any more of this. I don't like giving up on animals, and I don't want her to spend her life going from home to home, in and out of rescue, as I think she would just get worse. She is a very pretty grey cat, so I think she would get rehomed quickly, but would then end up back being rehomed a week later. But I don't know what else to do.

Daftaboutthecat Fri 11-Mar-16 19:06:50

Hi I'm really sorry as I have no advice being new to having a cat. But didn't want to read and run as this must be so distressing for you. Could you try a cat behaviourist?

cozietoesie Fri 11-Mar-16 21:13:53

I wonder whether she doesn't like the other cat and that (and the associated stress) is the root cause of her problems.

How long have they been together?

cozietoesie Fri 11-Mar-16 21:15:34

PS - is it feasible for her to go outside?

Peaceandloveeveryone Fri 11-Mar-16 21:18:31

I wondered if she could go outside too?

NameAgeLocation Fri 11-Mar-16 21:18:33

I also don't have advice but if the costs and stress are that high then a behaviourist is probably your next step.
We have minor issues with one of ours but he confines it to the bedrooms which is easier to handle (just shut him out when unsupervised). In his case I'm almost certain it's asserting his dominance over the other cat. I'm sure a more specialised professional could help you shed some light on your cat's issues.

NameAgeLocation Fri 11-Mar-16 21:21:37

If she's not sick, then she's presumably very cross with you. She's trying to send you a clear message.

NameAgeLocation Fri 11-Mar-16 21:22:45

Sorry posted too soon. I mean cross about
something in particular; the move, the other cat? I really think the right professional will have some good ideas.

cozietoesie Fri 11-Mar-16 21:35:09

I'm inclined to say that she could probably benefit from a fresh start as a singleton with outside access. After all of this time and trouble, do the family still really like her? All of them?

FloralFondant Fri 11-Mar-16 21:36:28

Well I certainly wouldn't ever be letting her in my bedroom again unless you secretly like cat shit where you sleep?

Just put her outside or confine her somewhere else or lock your door

QuestionableMouse Fri 11-Mar-16 23:56:44

Not unreasonable to shut her out of the bedrooms imo.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 12-Mar-16 10:09:11

She has been with the other cat since she was a kitten They get on well most of the time - they curl up together, groom each other, but also have spectacular fights from time to time.

She can't go outside - we live on a main road and are in a first floor flat. I asked the vet if she would be happier if she could go outside, and he said it was unlikely to be an issue, given that she has never been an outside cat.

I think it is probably better if I do try and rehome her somewhere that she can be on her own and go outside. DH will be delighted to see the back of her, DD1 won't care, but DD2 will be very upset, as she has always been "her" cat. I am not sure how the other cat will react - we got her as a companion for him, as the rescue place we got him from was concerned that he would suffer "mental anguish" having been separated from his "wife" (they kept her and sent him to rescue).

cozietoesie Sat 12-Mar-16 10:46:26

I'm just thinking that she probably has all sorts of tensions underlying her behaviour - for a young cat with no physical issues to pee and poo over the flat at will for a very extended length of time? In my experience, cats are very clean animals and they like order. It sounds as if she's protesting about something or a combination of things or has even come not to care. In addition, cats usually know if they're not much liked I think.

Usually, you can help cats by adapting their environment but there's the odd occasion, I believe, when there's nothing realistic to be done. You may be at the point with her when she could simply be happier elsewhere. Your call.

Good luck to her and to you whatever happens.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 13-Mar-16 18:00:26

Well I wish I knew what was causing her anguish, as I would try and sort it. She has just done it again. Am going to have to rehome, much as I hate giving up on an animal. I don't see any other way round it.

And she is much loved, by me and DD2.

cozietoesie Sun 13-Mar-16 18:46:24

She may not like the other cat - and if so, it's unlikely to improve after all of this time. (Some cats are only content when they're singletons in my experience - and forcing (as they see it) them to live with another cat builds up the tension in them.)

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 13-Mar-16 18:54:15

I've emailed a rescue place near me. If anyone has any recommendations for anywhere that won't make me feel even worse than I do already, please let me know. I am absolutely dreading taking her there and seeing her little face for the last time. sadsadsad

BigGaggingBird Sun 13-Mar-16 18:58:20

I had a cat like this. He was very neurotic and anxious and it only got worse as he reached old age. He died of natural causes 2 weeks ago aged 15.

I'm sorry, but I don't think rehoming is the answer for a cat like this, as they will only become more distressed by the process. I think you should look into getting her put to sleep.

cozietoesie Sun 13-Mar-16 19:01:31

She's only a young cat. I think she probably deserves a chance at a home she prefers.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 13-Mar-16 19:02:06

I'd like to give her another chance before that - if she could be happier going outside, and being an only cat, it might be the making of her.

BigGaggingBird Sun 13-Mar-16 19:10:24

There are so many cats in rescue homes, those with a problem like this probably won't have a happy ending, as much as you would like to think so. Hopefully she will do well, but from experience I feel it's not likely.

cozietoesie Sun 13-Mar-16 19:12:29

Yes. Hopefully, she would do well.

lavenderdoilly Sun 13-Mar-16 19:19:14

Sounds like a territory issue with the other cat much as they might seem to get on. Look for Jackson Galaxy on YouTube and also his programme "my cat from hell". You can find the earlier programmes on YouTube too. He usually suggests adding to your number of litter trays and creating routes around your living space that allow the cats to pass each other without getting in each other's way. I used to have two siblings with a love/hate relationship. Good luck.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 03-Apr-16 07:28:19

Well she has just shat on the new sofa, on the carpet and has pissed in the laundry basket. I think this is the final straw. I've contacted a rescue place near us, and they will see if they can rehome her as an "only" cat with access to outside. I really wish it hadn't come to this. I hate to give up on a cat, but I can't carry on like this. We've had nearly three years of this now. I think enough is enough.

LaPharisienne Sun 03-Apr-16 07:59:50

I know this is a sad thing to say, but I second what BigGaggingBird says - I would go a bit further and say that it is irresponsible to rehome a cat with problems like this. If you are honest about the scale of the problem, any cat rescue place will tell you that rehoming is not a realistic option. No one will want a cat that shits and pisses everywhere. And if you aren't honest, you are just passing the problem on to someone else. Sad, but true.

I'm sure the last thing you want to do is have her put to sleep, but I would seriously consider it. Lots of people will make all sorts of suggestions but if you have tried all the options you can manage (feliway, anti-depressants, moving house etc. etc.) then you have two options: put her to sleep, or give her away for someone else to do it.

I totally understand your dilemma and you have my utmost sympathy. Not being able to cope with her crapping everywhere does not mean you don't love her and if you do decide to have her put to sleep that is a brave and responsible decision. Don't listen to anyone who thinks they know better than you, whatever you decide. Unless you have lived with an animal like this, you really don't understand.

In particular, beware cat behaviourists who claim some mystical understanding of feline nature and who may even offer to help rehome (of course only provided you spend ----waste huge sums watching them try all the things you have already tried with exactly the same results) your cat.

I'm so sorry. Horrible dilemma. xxx

LaPharisienne Sun 03-Apr-16 08:02:49

Sorry just saw your last post - hope they find her an outside home.

Maybe you could ask that if they can't and have to put her to sleep you could be there so she is with a familiar person when it happens?

Sorry to be so negative but writing from (considerable) personal experience.

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