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Is my cat keeping a respectful distance from me? :-)

(13 Posts)
SunsetDream Sat 23-Jan-16 10:43:52

Just curious really (sorry for another newby question!)

She's always lovely and friendly, plays with the children and U.S. and comes for a fuss etc. but I've started to notice a pattern when she's around me. (I'm not bothered in anyway, just curious and wanted to ask about it).

yesterday, she jumped on the arm of the sofa where I was sitting, looked across my lap with a paw raised, then walked around the back of me and down onto the settee at the other side. It made me realise that there is a bubble round me when she interacts!

She meets me at the door and comes for a fuss, she'll follow me around the house all day (if she's not sleeping) and often comes for a stroke. But if I'm on the settee, she'll sit near me, but at the other end or on the back. On the bed, she'll be by my feet. Always near, but always outside of that bubble (she snuggles up next to dh! grin).

Im just curious really, smile

cozietoesie Sat 23-Jan-16 10:53:47

Sounds as if she's got different comfort zones for different situations. People are the same and it's usually contextual. My own old boy will accept different types of love according to where he is/what we're doing.

A little disconcerting but there you go. Is she a bright cat?

SunsetDream Sat 23-Jan-16 11:03:08

She seems pretty bright (but I've got little to compare her to). I do want to stress, it doesn't bother me - I like observing and understanding. It's a good point about the context.

We've only had her since the beginning of the month (she's still inside - we were going to keep her in for a moth on the advice of the cp lady), and I'm keen not to push her - she can take things at her own pace. She seems totally settled, but little hints like this suggest that there is still caution there.

cozietoesie Sat 23-Jan-16 12:52:24

Gosh - real early days then. smile She may well change her approach in the fullness of time.

ClaudiaWankleman Sat 23-Jan-16 12:54:01

It sounds like she is actually really comfortable to me. She doesn't feel like she has to try and get approval or attention from you, but she can just have her own space on a par with you and feel comfortable doing it.

cozietoesie Sat 23-Jan-16 12:55:43

It does, doesn't it? smile

gleam Sat 23-Jan-16 12:56:09

Cats have a matriarchal society, I believe. So maybe she's just being careful round the 'boss'. grin

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Sat 23-Jan-16 13:06:48

they can be different with different of mine just has no idea of personal space whatsoever, he will cosy with anyone, sleep on anyone's bed, demand breakfast from us all, however his sister is totally different, she rarely sits on anyone, sleeps in her own space, but she will kiss and chatter and dribble over my ds's, sit behind them on the sofa and poke them to get attention

Also used to help out at a cat shelter and one cat there with kittens turned out to be a spiteful wee besom to some of the volunteers and swiping and hissing at people who were looking to rehome her or the babies.....however she'd been so sweet to me, let me look at all her prettyful babies and made nice to me! I was really taken with her and was on the verge of asking telling dh all about her with a view to adopting her. But she was chosen!

SunsetDream Sun 24-Jan-16 10:07:00

TBH I think humans have a matriarchal society, but some of the men just don't understand that wink

Your comments are reassuring - she can take things at her own pace, but I wouldn't want her to avoid me for her whole life

cozietoesie Sun 24-Jan-16 11:15:15

It doesn't sound as if she is avoiding you - other than when you're on the sofa. (Maybe that particular one on one is just too intense emotionally for her right now. smile) I reckon your attitude is really great towards her. She'll go at her own pace, whatever that may be - and it's such early days.

gleam Sun 24-Jan-16 11:16:37

grin Sunset.

Peevedquitter Sun 24-Jan-16 11:27:58

Mine makes a point of walking across me to get to the other side of the sofa.

My cat loves to sit on DS and sit next to me but when DS isn't here she will always sit on me. Your cat sounds as if she is settling in well.

Any chance of a photo?

Here is my cat in DS laundry basket refusing to move and looking haughty with a I am Queen of all I survey look about her.

SuperFlyHigh Sun 24-Jan-16 13:00:02

My cat (he will be 2 in April) has always been funny round me - he loves my mum who doesn't live with me but visits him sometimes during the week (she lives nearby sometimes gives him lunch etc).

I've had a flatmate/lodger for past few months too and he's indifferent to her...

What he does do is displays himself (rolls over does a slinky movement) that's tummy rub time... He's not a pick up cat at all though, won't sit on your lap and rarely comes onto my bed (did do that a tiny bit). He likes being stroked (on his own terms) tolerates me picking him up for a cuddle but mostly dislikes it...

He loves earwigging and I've got a split level maisonette flat with upstairs part and if I'm there with flatmate talking (eg bathroom) he will rush to listen in and be near to us).

I'm never sure if it because we got him later at 4.5/5 months old and he wasn't socialised well.

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