Why do some people get so angry when you're nice to your pet?

(31 Posts)
BibiBlocksberg Wed 13-Jan-16 20:33:54

Cats in particular it seems in my case since i'm a 'cat fancier' - dogs are lovely too but I would indulge one until it was 20 stone & burst smile

Weird question perhaps but I've had it for years and it's annoying and puzzling in equal measures.

Yes, I give my cat some prawns as a treat a couple of times a week, sometimes roast chicken etc

No, I don't want to go out and get so drunk that I have to stay away overnight without booking a cat sitter, am out of the house for 10 odd hours a day as it is and cat would get lonely and confused, yes I like to be home on bonfire night to manage firework anxiety etc

I don't go on about my cat as no one wants to hear endless stories of things that are cute and fascinating to me but no one else smile

Nevertheless, the snippets I do share attract such vitriol, prawns seemingly being a bit of a trigger for most 'huff, wish I could afford them' ' we'll be round to sit on your doorstep with a knife and fork later' etc

If I have guests round they are scoffing the bleeding prawns as they are defrosting on the side and the poor cat ends up with two left - more indignant huffing when I gently suggest that I buy 1 bag of the frozen kind at £2.50 and they can be a not too expensive treat if anyone is very fond of them.....

Had to shelter with a friend for a month last summer, me and two kitties, very kind of him to put us up temporarily but dear god, the endless lectures about how I am pouring all my love into the cats and am very 'hard to get close to' right down to rants of how 'the fucking things' would live forever if I kept being nice to them.

Realise I probably sound like a nutjob but anyone else experienced this or do I just know a lot of strange people? smile

Oldraver Wed 13-Jan-16 21:18:27

The butchers face when I asked for fillet steak tail, he showed me some prepacked ones I said I only and wanted a small piece and blurted out it was for the cat. grin

OH did do some mock 'filet for the cat', but was quick to feed him some with his medicine. It only cost £2 and half is in the freezer and he just needs a small sliver (well several) to take his medication and its easy to eat being so soft.

When I was feeding it to him I was thinking ...better not mention it to my mother

BibiBlocksberg Wed 13-Jan-16 21:40:27

smile Oldraver, I make a point of stating 'nice Friday treat for my cat' when buying butter roast chicken (aka kitty 'crack'') from the deli nowadays.

Majority of responses consist of the server pulling a face like a bulldog chewing a wasp, last week I got an exasperated 'it's far too good for the cat' and occasionally I get given an end bit for free by a kindred spirit (rare that one)

Used to buy and feed raw steak for my previous cat & make him a 'surf & turf' treat. Only cut up stewing steak but the frothing I got from people for that, you'd have thought I'd said I'm booking a table at a five star restaurant for him!

Very odd..... smile

fieldfare Wed 13-Jan-16 21:47:11

I don't see the problem. Your pet, as long as you're treating them well, they're not underfed or massively overweight, it's no one else's business!
I miss my cat asking for salmon, I'd always dish him up some when it was ready as he liked the skin crunchy.
My dog is my fur baby. My dad was horrified and speechless when I let the dog up on our brand new and rather expensive sofa. He always has a blanket to lay on, he was used to laying on the old one, and anyway, he likes a cuddle!

Toughasoldboots Wed 13-Jan-16 21:50:42

I think it's lovely when people are kind to their pets (and animals in general).
I feel such guilt at being in control of every aspect of my pets lives that I overcompensate.
My back is very painful at the moment as I didn't like to disturb the cat sleeping last night.

There is so much misery and cruelty in the world, only utter weirdos would judge you for being nice.

ThomasRichard Wed 13-Jan-16 21:52:00

I dislike pets of most descriptions but I can't see why feeding your cat food-grade meat is cause for comment. Surely that's a better diet than biscuits and canned pet food?

LemonRedwood Wed 13-Jan-16 21:54:51

My DH professes to hate the cat but will feed him smoked salmon, prawns and steak when he thinks I'm not looking grin

Kitty knows that I'm the one to come to for strokes and cuddles but that DH is the real soft touch.

UmbongoUnchained Wed 13-Jan-16 21:55:13

I barely acknowledge my cat!

BibiBlocksberg Wed 13-Jan-16 22:18:29

Exactly Toughasoldboots (right down to the soreness induced by not disturbing 'chairman miau')

Having a pet is a privilidge to my mind and treating them well is a given, otherwise why have one at all?

Of course doggie sits on the sofa too fieldfare, that's what blankets were invented for after all. Perhaps ask your dad to sit on the floor next time he visits since he seems to think it's an acceptable place for family members grin

Yep, had a partner like that once LemonRedwood, 'shame' female cat adores all members of the male species and rode him like sea biscuit within a week of arriving smile

StayWithMe Wed 13-Jan-16 22:32:37

You should all be ashamed of yourself when there are so many poor people in the world. angry

Just thought I'd get hat out there before the animal haters come on. wink

My dogs get a nice big bowl of pasta, with mixed veg and salmon at the weekend. The five kitties get a tin of tuna in water every weekend as a treat. I once had a woman tut loudly when I said to the staff at the till that the tuna was for the cats. She didn't seem impressed when I added that kids get jealous because I only buy them the cheap stuff. wink

honeysucklejasmine Wed 13-Jan-16 22:40:38

DGM feeds her cat steamed fish or chicken every day. He's a spoiled little monster but very beautiful and very affectionate.

She was telling us the other day that she'd swapped from coley to a different white fish, apparently it cooks up better and he loves it.

We do rib her about it, but only in jest. He's a lovely cat who clearly deserves it!

BibiBlocksberg Wed 13-Jan-16 22:53:48

StayWithMe - i am hanging my head in shame while typing.

That reminds me, must have his Lordships diamond collar stretched tomorrow it's getting a bit tight and how I'll afford to fuel his personal helicopter for another week is anyone's guess smile

Love the tuna checkout story by the way 'kids get jealous' snort! Might use that one myself to cause further outrage at the deli counter on friday.

honeysucklejasmine, DGM cat sounds lovely with an impeccable palate smile

They all deserve to be treated well as they give so much unconditional love and laughter.

UmbongoUnchained Wed 13-Jan-16 23:19:13

I think my cat would in his own words tell me to go fuck myself if I tried to cuddle him. He's happy to come in, eat his biscuits and then disappear for a week.

RabbitsarenotHares Thu 14-Jan-16 09:15:04

DP doesn't quite get the emotional attachment to pets (couldn't understand why I travelled 500 miles to see my old cat for one last time before she died) but spoils our present slave-driver far more than I do. Is always coming back from the shops with treats for her.

My previous cat lived with my mother. She was ill for the last few years of her life (she was ove 20 by this point so no surprise) with little appetite. My mother became a regular at the fish and meat counters at here local Waitrose, buying small amounts for her. All the staff knew who she was buying for and would quite often give her bits for free. As she said, she couldn't afford the nice stuff for herself, but it was worth it if the cat would eat it!

cozietoesie Thu 14-Jan-16 10:41:27

I've had workmen in for weeks doing things and it's astonishing how many of them are (possibly secret) cat adorers and real softies. I introduce them to Seniorboy - who might or might not say something to them - and thereafter, I barely need to say 'Because of the old cat......X......' and they're complying without the slightest comment. grin

ZebraOwl Thu 14-Jan-16 11:52:07

It's weird, isn't it: "how dare you take responsibility for another living creature AND TREAT IT AS WELL AS YOU CAN AFFORD TO?!"

I'm on disability benefits so people seem to feel I should be feeding my cats fried chicken from out of the bins to eke out supercheap food; & that they shouldn't have toys/beds/the litter they prefer; & I shouldn't have insurance for them because I can get free treatment through the Blue Cross.

I don't smoke or drink alcohol & live in London so when I'm well enough to go out my transport is either free or subsidised. I'm almost!vegan & shop carefully - for myself & for the cats. I've worked out that I spend around £1/day feeding them (I think that was combined not each, it was a while ago I did the sums & I'm decidedly groggledy atm) - certainly it worked out cheaper than it would to feed them Whiskas or Felix pouches (though obviously there are other cheaper pouches). They decided to be indoor cats so they need stimulation and their toys don't cost the earth. I shop around for everything, too, so their Christmas present of an enclosed cat bed (which they love) was all of about £12 in the sale. As for insuring the cats, I see it as the right thing to do. I can fit the fees into my budget; they're on a lifelong plan thingy from Petplan; & it means I can use a vet within walking distance (I can't drive) rather than trying to haul an ill/injured & hugely distressed cat across London on public transport.

People seem to think it's ridiculous I bother to feed obligate carnivores food that is, um, meat. Sometimes it

ZebraOwl Thu 14-Jan-16 12:02:00

Ha! Headbutted by one of the cats led to pressing post (am on mobile). Think Nijinsky must have been reading over my shoulder & got excited at discussion of food...

Anyway yes, sometimes their food isn't pure meat - this morning was 46% chicken, 6% papaya, then the remainder was rice & added taurine & things. Sometimes it's something like 65% chicken & 35% chicken broth. But 100% chicken is frequently A Thing & it is certainly never 4% "meat". Their dryfood is always grain-free high-meat-content.

<<sigh>>

People just love being Judgey. And women who own cats - particularly single women, like me - have been considered legitimate targets for derision since the witch trials, let's face it.

Boo to rubbish judgey people & may the hoiking of their judgeypants give them wedgies that require very painful surgical extraction.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some very important cat snuggling to be getting on with...

BibiBlocksberg Thu 14-Jan-16 12:44:27

"It's weird, isn't it: "how dare you take responsibility for another living creature AND TREAT IT AS WELL AS YOU CAN AFFORD TO?!""

Thank you ZebraOwl, that's exactly the attitude that bothers me so much.

And from people who are not affected in the slightest by the choices I make for my pet.

Aside from the food, treating the cat with any semblance of consideration for it's emotional life seems to be what really sets some people off.

Animals are sentient creatures, they have feelings, likes & dislikes, get bored so need to play, like to be chatted to (ie noticed) and so on.

Single cat lady here too so think you might have something there smile

Sounds like you're providing your kitties with a wonderful life despite your personal challenges!

Can just picture the builders tiptoeing around ageing cat there cozie smile

RabbitsarenotHares Thu 14-Jan-16 18:07:48

Cozie has reminded me of something else. My last cat was a rescue, came to us undernourished and lacking special awareness (though that improved with time and food) and really wary of men. It seemed clear she had been misheard at some point in her past.

She coped with the plumber (attracted by whatever exciting tools he had in his bag) but for some reason absolutely loved the guy who serviced the burglar alarm. The first time he came she taught him to open the glass front door every time she told him to (ie every two minutes). When he came a year later she threw herself at him, rolled on her back wanting him to stroke her belly, and, at one point, ran past me to him, totally ignoring me! It was so unlike her.

BibiBlocksberg Thu 14-Jan-16 20:32:02

That is fascinating RabbitsarenotHares, wonder what she recognised in him that made her so trusting & friendly suddenly?

My Jake does not cope well with men either (especially when they move their feet) as his previous owner was an abusive git.

Just had to indulge his lordship with his favourite hobby of sitting half in/half out the back door, sucked all the heat out of the kitchen instantly, brass monkeys here.

He elected to return to his warm blanket nest on the bed after 5 mins with a disgusted look on his face smile

Yet he survived 3 winters being forced to live outside (while his owner sat indoors with a roaring fire blazing sad)

Heat loving softy 'doily' now (cat not the git owner) smile

InTheTeapot Thu 14-Jan-16 20:51:21

Friends of mine have been surprised that I talk to my cats. Horrified that I left the the radio on for one nervous cat.

Melonaire Thu 14-Jan-16 20:54:25

'the endless lectures about how I am pouring all my love into the cats and am very 'hard to get close to' right down to rants of how 'the fucking things' would live forever if I kept being nice to them.'

Someone's desperate for your attention and it's not a cat!

cozietoesie Thu 14-Jan-16 20:55:56

Horrified? They must have very dull and tedious lives if they could become so exercised over such a minor thing. (Especially given it was someone else.)

InTheTeapot Thu 14-Jan-16 21:08:23

It was odd. She just could not believe it and kept on exclaiming "why on earth would you do that?"
Not a pet person.

BibiBlocksberg Thu 14-Jan-16 21:25:09

smile Melonaire, funny you should say that, had to bite my tongue several times to stop myself from snapping 'what, do you mean you can't get close to me, did you think there'd be snogging by now or something'?'

Thing is he's pushing 70 & the father of an ex dp (split years ago) so thought 'don't be so ridiculous Bibi' <strokes chin & ponders>

That's the main reason i started this thread InTheTeapot, the strength of feeling i've seen displayed when sharing snippets like leaving the radio on (i do that too smile)

And when i say feeling i mean anger - my mind will not cease to boggle at that, could understand it if i made the person i'm talking to sit in a freezing house with the back door open, the radio on & a bowl of prawns for dinner but it doesn't affect anyone other than me & the cat <boggle> smile

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