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How do you say goodbye :(

(7 Posts)
Wibhay Sun 27-Dec-15 18:53:17

I don't really know why I'm posting this sad I think it's just my way of dealing with things sad I have to make the decision of to have my cat pts as she is very poorly. The trouble is I can't bring myself to say goodbye.
I don't have any children and I feel like I'm her mum. I'm scared that when she is gone that's it sad I will no longer be a mum.
I love her so much and can't see her suffer but I also can't bare the pain of saying goodbye.
My mum dad and brother were all crying earlier as they love her too and that makes me feel terrible as I was the one who,racked her sad

cozietoesie Sun 27-Dec-15 19:01:42

For myself, I couldn't at the time. I'd just go along and be there while they went.

Afterwards - Well. I go out on the back stoop with a (very) large glass of whisky and salute their life and their passing.

MsMims Sun 27-Dec-15 22:15:59

You'll always be her Mum - they live on in yours hearts forevermore.

If she's suffering and in pain, set her free. It is the ultimate act of kindness and love.

When my last cat was PTS I wasn't ready to say goodbye, but then I never would have been. My hand was forced because she was suffering and was never going to get better. I had to let her go for her sake. You just have to think of them and deal with the fallout of your own sadness afterwards.


SevenOfNineTrue Sun 27-Dec-15 23:23:02

I am so sorry for the situation you find yourself in flowers I was in the same situation three weeks ago when I had my beloved cat put down. I miss him everyday and am crying now just tying this.

IMO you owe it to your cat to be there when she passes. It is not about how you feel, but about your cat. IMO she needs you there in her final time on this earth to tell she is loved and will be missed and, if you believe in it, that you will see her again.

No one is ever ready or feels able to deal with losing a beloved pet but you must do the right thing here or I fear you will regret it.

However this is only my own opinion and others may disagree.

Take good care of yourself.

Mincepies76 Mon 28-Dec-15 00:33:59

Hi Wibhay, as you know my lovely cat was pts 4 weeks ago after a period of illness. We miss him and I still well up thinking of him. I have to say one of the most awful things was having to make the decision, it's so upsetting and stressful, agonising about whether it's the right thing to do...wishing the vet would just tell you. I felt we were in the decision limbo for a good few weeks and as awful as it was and is losing your beloved cat, for me, afterwards I felt quite peaceful and there was a certain release, the awful pressure was gone. We had been mourning him for a good few weeks, knowing the end was coming and it's comforting knowing we did what was right.
Maybe you will feel able to offer another cat your love at some stage, you know we got a kitten pretty quickly and he has helped. If not you will always have your memories and they will become a comfort and the pain will ease xx

timtam23 Mon 28-Dec-15 00:48:17

I am so sorry Wibhay. All I can say is that I left it too long before taking my old girl to be put to sleep and I still regret this. With my old boy I had learned from the previous time and we planned it a little more, made a total fuss of him over a weekend then took him to the vet before we had any sort of crisis/emergency dash situation. I stayed with both of them and was glad I had done so, I held my old boy on my lap and it was very sad but again I was comforted by being there for him and he would have known I was there. It is terribly hard to say goodbye at any time but I found it a bit easier the second time, maybe by having a bit more control of what was happening and when. If you are really struggling could you maybe ring the Blue Cross, they have a pet bereavement counselling service and may be able to help you talk through your worries about making the decision and how you will cope.

And yes you will always be her mum

StillMedusa Mon 28-Dec-15 01:46:39

Always her Mum.

I too left the love of my life too long, when he was suffering because I couldn't bear for him not to be there.. I regret it deeply... kept him alive because I was selfish and needed him.
Letting them go is THE last act of love we can do for our furry loved ones. In the end, when I took my Morph, it was so gentle, so swift and I kissed his furry face as the vet administered the injection that released him from his pain. I knew at that moment that it was the right thing to do.

I cried..a lot. Still cry, 20 months later for the loss of the creature that gave me more love than any human ever could. Cried more than I did when my own Dad died this year. My grief for my furry boy was immense and still is... but I don't regret the moment when I let him go and loved him as he passed.

It's the penalty we pay for loving special furry ones. But it is ok.

I have more cats now; I love them dearly but they don't replace my Morphy boy. But the hurt recedes to moments rather than all day pain.

Be brave xx

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