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Can you love your cat too much?

(19 Posts)
pilates Fri 13-Nov-15 14:08:25

That's it basically. I love her so much that when I let her out I worry all the time that she won't come back or something bad will happen to her. Is this normal or is it just me?

Tootsiepops Fri 13-Nov-15 14:14:11

Very selfishly, I keep my (3y/o) cat indoors because - after my younger brother and my dad died quite unexpectedly, closely followed by a first trimester loss - I could not cope if anything happened to my cat too. I feel very guilty about that and am in the process of getting the garden cat proofed for her so that she can at least get out a bit come the spring, but it would utterly destroy me if she were to get lost / hurt / killed.

pilates Fri 13-Nov-15 14:32:27

Very understandable Toot, sorry for your losses. I do keep mine in when I work (2 days a week) but she is dying to go out when I get back.

Sparklingbrook Fri 13-Nov-15 14:58:44

pilates I had a cat for only three months when she disappeared. The week inbetween her disappearing and finding out what had happened (she had died) was awful. i couldn't eat or sleep and I made myself ill. sad

When we picked up Sparklingcat who we have now I didn't think I could go through it all again. Fortunately she stays close to home and in the winter you can barely budge her from the house. I do worry about her if she's gone while.

Toot that is totally understandable flowers

fuzzywuzzy Fri 13-Nov-15 15:21:01

we have two, and they enjoy running around outside occasionally. I let them out one evening as they were fussing to go out and then spent the next two hours frantic as one would not come home no matter how much I called him (usually does).

And it got dark and it was freezing, I refused to shut the door in case he came home and found the door closed. He was spotted merrily stalking things in the neighbours garden, he eventually came home when he needed to pee (they are house cats and wont go outside!).

I was so anxious those two hours and now do not let them out after dusk. Not that they want to go out in this cold thank fully.

timtam23 Fri 13-Nov-15 17:41:39

Mine went missing for a few days aged 7 months and like Sparkling I was a complete mess, fortunately he came back. He is a big strong cat & loves being outside so it wouldn't be fair to keep him in all the time but I do worry when he goes out & i drive DH mad by always asking if he's seen the cat yet blush. Fortunately he seems sensible enough to keep away from the road and he does spend much of the day (when the road is busiest) asleep in the house. Ideally I would catproof the yard but it is a tiny yard & not really practical to do so. Plus DH feels quite strongly that the cat should be allowed out.

ragged Fri 13-Nov-15 18:06:18

I have a love/mutual loathing relationship with the moggies, which is presumably exactly what they feel about me!

iloveeverykindofcat Sat 14-Nov-15 08:23:11

Mine only go in the yard - I live in a sort of weird setup where the walls are naturally very high (back on to other houses) and they don't try and go any further. I've made it a bit more interesting for them by putting up some shelves with levels and stringing some string across with dangly things. I lost a free-roaming cat once when he fell off a roof and was paralysed and it was utterly terrible. Is this selfish of me? I'm not sure. What I will say is I think it depends on the cat. My 2 girls are spayed females who like their home comforts - one is a former stray who really makes the most of the sweet life. They don't show any desire to go further (and in the rain will barely budge from a radiator). I give them active playtime. I think this a different thing to keeping a strong young active male with a high roaming instinct confined.

GoneAndDone Sat 14-Nov-15 08:30:38

I know mine is an unpopular opinion but I think letting cats wander as they please is really irresponsible unless you live in the country or a village etc. Everywhere else, indoors or with safe garden access only is the responsible thing to do.

I live in London with busy roads and our local Facebook page has weekly posts about missing cats or cats found hit by cars. Not sure what people expect when they know how most drive here.

I lived in another country where 90% of cats are indoor only and when kept indoors all their lives they really don't miss the outdoors or feel in any way deprived.

mathanxiety Sat 14-Nov-15 08:35:19

Me too Ragged.

Mine stays indoors as I am on a busy road and also we get hawks and the odd coyote around here. She is perfectly happy - as happy as a cat can get anyway - with people to claw or sit on and purr at as the fancy takes her, and ping pong balls to bat around on the wooden floors at 4.47 am morning after morning, curtains to tear down while climbing, plants to knock over and uproot, jewellery and coins and bottles of nail polish to push to the floor off dressing tables, and countertops to lick. She is a social and curious cat who jumps onto my back off the kitchen table while I cook and climbs up my back while I am leaning over the sink brushing my teeth. There is usually someone to keep her company day and night here. I will get another cat if that situation changes, to provide company.

Sparklingbrook Sat 14-Nov-15 08:38:55

I am happy with my decision to let Sparklingcat out. We live in a quiet semi rural area and she stays close.
My cat that died was not hit by a car but had a heart condition.

SquadGoals Sat 14-Nov-15 08:41:28

My two are still tiny, only 12 weeks, so not faced this yet.

Even when they are old enough, we won't let them out. There's too many dangerous animals that would eat them around here.

Although we do regularly see an adult domestic cat walking round with a warthog, so you never know grin

Pipbin Sat 14-Nov-15 08:48:47

I hear exactly what you are saying.
We got out girl when we were going through IVF. After the only pregnancy ended badly I became very protective of her.
We live on a very quiet and slow road with woods out the back but I only allow her out during daylight.

whatdoIget Sat 14-Nov-15 08:51:56

I've always let my cats out. It never occured to me not to. They have a cat flap so can come and go as they please.

Walkingonsunshine00 Sat 14-Nov-15 09:01:39

Mines similar to toot, after the loss of my sister and then my old cat ( he was a stray cat and no one knew he was actually 17/18) we got a little kitten. At 11 months old she got hit by a car. With this cat I vowed not to let her out often but she only really stays in the garden so it's ok

NarcyCow Sat 14-Nov-15 09:39:30

Ours have always been allowed out as much as they wanted. Of course it worries me, and I've had the experience of one going missing for a week (she was locked in a neighbour's shed and thankfully was fine), but I don't think it's fair to coop them up in a house all the time for my own peace of mind.

One isn't able to leave the garden now due to brain damage (sustained at the vet's, not outdoors!) and prefers to be indoors anyway, and the other is one of the quickest and most sensible cats I've ever met and is well able to mind herself. She detests being cooped up and will complain very loudly and incessantly till someone opens the door.

ClarkL Sat 14-Nov-15 10:35:00

We have a 'catio' for our 3 bengals, they have a cat flap leading to a tunnel that runs along the garage and at the back is a big enclosure with tree branches and climbing frame for them - it was the best decision we made, ironically when we lived in an estate they went out but didnt venture far, we moved to the country and they went wild, Our eldest brought home a chicken and we had furious neighbours threatening to shoot him. The catio is without a doubt the best decision we ever made. They have fresh air and we know they are safe although I am still baffled as to why I have mice, rats and frogs delivered sad

pilates Sat 14-Nov-15 10:39:47

ClarkL, I'm liking the idea of your "catio".

Goingtobeawesome Sat 14-Nov-15 11:05:21

The short answer is no.

My cat was fabulous and when she died aged 18 I was heartbroken. She was more than just a pet to me.

The only way you could love to much is if your actions mean the cat is suffering and this isn't the case. Enjoy your fur ball of fun.

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