Long story short, we have two cats, the big one of whom has been with us for five years. He chose us from a rescue centre (he waved at us through the bars of his cage). The second one, the Shitten, came to us as a kitten and is now nearly four. She has had continence issues on and off, although these seem to be largely resolved now. I think the Shitten would be happier if she was able to go outside - both cats have always been indoor cats; we came from Paris, which is almost exclusively apartment living, and now live in a flat in Central London where they can't go out.
The Shitten and the big cat rub along reasonably well most of the time. She is Alpha Cat, and has recently been giving him a hard time and making the big cat stressed, which has resulted in him peeing on the bed and the sofa several times in the past week. (This has never happened before with him.) The vet has put him on anti stress food and Zylkene - I don't know what has happened in the past week, but he has been looking terrified, and cowering when I go to stroke him. He has always been very much "my" cat - he sleeps on top of me, and spends every evening on my lap, and sits next to me when I work from home. I don't think he is bothered about not being able to go out, all he wants is a nice lap, a bit of fuss and a warm human to cuddle at night.
So if you are still with me, the obvious thing to do would be to rehome the Shitten, to a nice home where she could go outside, yes? The big cat would miss her initially, but his life would be a lot less stressful. I now throw into the mix DD1, who is asthmatic, and her asthma has been getting worse in the past few weeks. She is blaming the cats for this, although I think it is partly to do with the high pollen count.
DH has never been a big fan of the cats, but has tolerated them. He says it is time to rehome them - we can never have a nice house, due to the cats (we had to throw out the sofa as it had become the Shitten's toilet of choice for a while). Both of the DDs agree. I am dragging my feet, as I love the cats, particularly the big cat, who has always been clingy with me. Realistically, I don't see any way round this, largely due to DD1's asthma, but I really, really don't want them to go to rescue (particularly as the big cat was in rescue for months before we adopted him). I will miss them so much if/when they go, and would ideally like the big cat to go somewhere local so that I can visit him from time to time.
I feel that at the moment I am letting everyone down - DD1, the cats, my whole family. But I don't know what to do for the best. 
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The litter tray
I don't know what to do for the best. :(
MrsSchadenfreude · 24/06/2015 08:48
Thank you Sparky. We have two litter trays - we did have three but one wasn't getting used. We have experimented with cat litter until we found one that the Shitten will deign to use. The trays are in the two bathrooms, both quite quiet and out of the way, although both cats tend to prefer one tray/location over the other.
We tried Feliway. The Shitten took objection to the plug-in and used to poop right next to the diffuser. We have used Petal Cleanse for grooming the cats in the past, and it did seem to have some effect, so perhaps I will get some more of that. Although the general consensus seems to be that the cats need to go. I can't bear the thought of being without my big boy. DH said he is not an extra child, and that is how I am treating him.
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