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My cat just died - have to tell DS in the morning

(13 Posts)
cakedup Sun 23-Nov-14 01:41:23

I took him to the vets on Friday as he couldn't pass urine. They operated on him and attached a catheter, he was doing really well.
The vet called me 20 mins ago to say that unexpectedly his lungs filled up with water and he was struggling to breathe. And then called again just now to say he didn't make it. Complications could have been due to his heart murmur.

Now I have to tell DS age 9. We both love our cat dearly, it is just me and DS. DS often says he loves our cat like he would love his own son.

We had our first cat who got run over at 2 years ago. Heartbreaking. Then we got another cat, not even 1 years old, also got run over. This cat was naturally an indoor cat so we thought he'd outlive the others but he wasn't even 2 years old. So three cats in a row, one after another have died prematurely. How unlucky is that? Why? Why do they keep dying?

Our cat was part of our everyday life, even the last couple of days without him while he was at the vets have been awful. I cannot bear the thought of having to tell Ds, for the THIRD time that we have lost our cat. I have to see his grief stricken face and his devastation. I can't handle it.

AlpacaMyBags Sun 23-Nov-14 03:32:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MooseyMouse Sun 23-Nov-14 06:09:18

That's really sad and I'm sorry. You'll find the words somehow but I understand it's tough. Best wishes.

cozietoesie Sun 23-Nov-14 10:08:19

I'm so sorry, cakedup.

nipersvest Sun 23-Nov-14 10:12:36

so sorry, i think you just have to tell him and let him cry. i've had to do the same this week with my 2 dc's, our 17 year old cat was put to sleep on tuesday, ds is 9 and he cried for hours and cried himself to sleep. its getting easier as the days pass by, but we all really miss him. such a shame you've had such rotten luck with cats sad

JCleRoux Sun 23-Nov-14 13:22:06

I'm so sorry. Loosing three cats so close together is just horrible. flowers

cakedup Sun 23-Nov-14 16:32:42

DS is convinced we are doing something wrong. He is also beating himself up because he told our cat off the other day for chewing on his lego.

The house is so empty.

I just don't understand it though...my mum is saying this house is bad luck, and I know that's silly but really...three cats in a row?? We love our cats so much, we spoil them, spend so much time with them, talk to them - they are so much a part of our lives.

nipersvest I reckon DS will be crying himself to sleep tonight too - it's so heartbreaking isn't it? Double heartbreaking - to lose the cat and see your ds being heartbroken.

I'm trying to not go down this road but...I keep thinking that he spent his last two days on earth at a vet hospital, he would have hated it. He knew I took him there. I hope he didn't feel abandoned/rejected by us sad

cozietoesie Sun 23-Nov-14 16:44:09

He had just had an op, cakedup. He was probably on pain meds and more than a little woozy and unwell so I doubt he knew much about his surroundings at all.

(Besides which, the nurses at vet hospitals are lovely. He'd have been stroked and looked after.)

Your poor DS.

hiddenhome Sun 23-Nov-14 19:47:25

So sorry for your loss flowers

mermaidstale Sun 23-Nov-14 20:44:43

That's so sad, for both of you. Could you distract your son from his grief by suggesting a different pet next time? A house bunny or a family of guinea pigs? Is a dog impossible because you're out at work all day? If not, a dog is really one of the family.

cakedup Sun 23-Nov-14 21:34:03

cozie when I spoke to the vet the other day after his surgery, she told me he was a bit grumpy but that he was letting people stroke him, so that was nice to know. When the vet called me up this morning, she was crying too (she has two cats herself). She said the nurse who was in charge was in pieces too. I was surprised, I thought they'd be used to that kind of thing. She told me that when it's expected (esp. old age) it's kind of easier, but when it's so sudden then they feel so responsible. She said she went over and over his notes to see if there was anything they would have done differently but there wasn't. She was lovely, genuinely concerned. cozie when my previous two cats died, I came on here and posted and you commented on those threads too. Thanks for always being there.

mermaidstale ds started off saying he doesn't want another cat. By the end of the day he was begging me to get another one as he doesn't feel it's a proper home. But we are in the process of being evicted, moving to god knows where so it would be a bad time to contemplate getting another pet.
However I'm thinking we can offer free cat sitting for people going away for Christmas.

Fluffycloudland77 Sun 23-Nov-14 21:46:39

I'm so sorry, it's random events. I doubt you're doing anything different to the rest of us.

valrhona Sun 23-Nov-14 22:12:57

I'm really very sad for you and your son. A bit of unfortunate luck there - but you did your best. Hopefully brighter days (and a furry friend) are just ahead. flowers for you and cake for your boy.

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