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Dealing with losing a cat

(17 Posts)
KayAllDay Mon 17-Nov-14 16:20:24

My one year old cat has been run over outside our house and he died in my arms. I've been crying for two days straight. We're having him individually cremated, and he'll come back in a box in a week or so. I'm so broken hearted. I keep having flashbacks. I'm not quite sure how to move forward. Dh thinks I'm being silly and should move on, but I'm not really sure how.

chockbic Mon 17-Nov-14 17:31:23

You aren't being silly at all. Must have been traumatic.

Give your dh a kick from me wink

Mitzimaybe Mon 17-Nov-14 17:49:46

Your DH is being totally insensitive and needs to be told so. You have PTSD - that's what is causing the flashbacks. It must have been hugely traumatic, for something so awful to happen to your loved one.

You're not over-reacting. You need time to grieve properly. Don't worry about trying to move forward yet, the time will come when you're ready, but right now, you need to mourn.

Spickle Mon 17-Nov-14 18:13:54

Oh no, that's really so sad and tragic. While it is traumatic to lose a cat for whatever reason, the circumstances you describe are possibly one of the most awful to experience. You are not being silly at all, but I'm assuming your DH wasn't there, so cannot possibly understand how you feel flowers

mrsdolittle Mon 17-Nov-14 18:21:09

I am so very sorry. I know exactly what you are going through. I lost my 15 month old cat in pretty much in same way 3 weeks ago. I don't think I stopped crying for about 4 days. And I know what you mean about flashbacks - we found his body by the side of the road and it still haunts me. You WILL be able to move on but you need to grieve first. Your DH is being completely insensitive but a lot of people underestimate how devestating the loss of a beloved animal can be and your DH is obviously one of them. I think it surprised my DH too tbh.

KayAllDay Mon 17-Nov-14 19:40:29

Thanks everyone, it helps to be told it's ok to grieve. I've been looking at pictures on my phone because I don't want to think of him the last time I saw him. It really physically hurts in my chest, isn't that weird?

hanette Mon 17-Nov-14 19:45:14

I'm so sorry what a horrible time for you

Cantbelievethisishappening Mon 17-Nov-14 19:47:06

I still miss my cat ten years on. I think about him often and get his little bit of black hair out of my box of memories just to touch it and remember him. So sorry for your loss. You are absolutely ok to feel this way. flowers

hanette Mon 17-Nov-14 19:59:36

Kay, when I lost my 17 year old to cancer in February I had some pics put into a pocket sized memory book using Photobox. Had copies made for the kids too. Somehow it really helped.

timtam23 Mon 17-Nov-14 20:27:16

So sorry Kay. What an awful thing to happen. I cried at some point every day for a couple of weeks after my old cat was put to sleep (and I was very prepared for it & it was nice & peaceful etc) - can't imagine how sad I would have felt if he'd been run over.

The Blue Cross have some advice leaflets about losing a pet and they also have a pet bereavement phone helpline - I very nearly called them but in the end didn't need to.

EmilyCHN Mon 17-Nov-14 20:29:35

The Blue Cross run a very useful bereavement helpline. It's open 8am-8pm and they are great. The number is 0800 096 6606
I'm so sorry to hear about your cat though but glad he had you with him at the end. Xx

KayAllDay Mon 17-Nov-14 20:47:47

Thank you, you've all been so kind, and helpful. His sister is wandering around the house mewling. It's horribly hard.

hanette Mon 17-Nov-14 21:09:11

Did his sister see him after the accident? I don't know if it's a myth but I have heard it helps them come to terms with it. If it helps, tell us about your feline friend, they are all unique. If you can't bear to of course don't. I bet you had a lovely year

Cantbelievethisishappening Mon 17-Nov-14 21:12:26

My lovely vets sent me a condolence card with a really touching message inside after my boy was PTS. It had a picture of a cat on the front. So kind and thoughtful that they do that for their owners who lose a much loved pet.
Grieving for a lost pet is totally acceptable. I agree though.... some people just don't get it.

KayAllDay Mon 17-Nov-14 21:17:41

He was chasing his sister across the road when it happened. He was a beautiful ginger with the most magnificent stripes. We called him our tiger. He was very affectionate and put up with anything from the kids - he would often just lie in their arms like a baby, the big soft thing. And he loved squishing down in the space between my leg and the side of the chair.

Dh was there, I think he's just being stoical, which is his way. He cried when it happened, but then just bucked up - I can't fault him for that, of course, but I can fault him for thinking I must do the same. But I don't really want to fault him at all, I want us to pull together.

hanette Mon 17-Nov-14 21:23:19

Aww he sounds like a wonderful big squidy softy tiger boy. I hope you feel a bit better over the next few days and weeks. You are in shock and it is totally understandable. In February I honestly never thought I would feel happy again. But somehow you will pull through. Hoe the kids are ok

redrubyindigo Mon 17-Nov-14 21:31:54

So sorry for your loss. The little critters get into your heart and stay there.

Anyone who utters the sentence "I hate cats" have never had one. They are beautiful creatures who give so much love.

An evening without a cat on your lap is an evening wasted.

I am looking now across the garden to the apple tree where my dear girl is buried. So many happy memories and you too will have them about your boy.

It is ok to cry.

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