Beautiful boy being pts tomorrow lunchtime :-(

[rosieposey]

I can't sleep, i made an appointment for my beloved boy who is 14 to be pts at our house tomorrow lunchtime. I feel so guilty and sad - i will miss him so much. He is currently snuggled in with DS (under the covers with his head poking out.

I know we are doing the right thing. He has had a neurological disorder since he was two ( or thats when it became first evident) slowly slowly over the years it has affected him more and more, muscle loss, strange gait when he walks ect.

The last couple of months he has stopped talking ( he is an oriental and always was vocal) and he is painfully thin - just eats barely anything and we have tried everything. I cannot bear for him to starve to death or to be in pain so i know the time has come as the vet warned us a few months ago that it probably would but how will i manage without him :-(

My boy has seen me through the worst and best times in my life, a sad marriage, divorce, subsequent happy marriage and two more DC's who adore him.

DH is working from home tomorrow so he can be here when the vet arrives, i am going out because i literally cannot bear it :-( It sounds terrible but sometimes i just wish i had woken up and found him gone in his sleep iykwim? I hate that i had to make this decision even though i know its kinder but i dont want him to go just yet.

I have asked them to take him away with them so he can be cremated and we can have him back in a week and i will decide what to do then.

Oh lord, i wish i could be there for his last moments, DD who is 19 will be here and so will DH but i literally cant even look at him this evening knowing it will be his last night and i just cant stop crying :-(

[PacificDogwood]

I don't really know what to say - it's heart breaking
Your love for him shines from every word in your post and you know you are making this hardest of decisions in his best interest.

V v sad.

Wishing you strength and love for tomorrow x.

[Spickle]

My thoughts are with you rosieposey.

We had our beloved little fella pts on Tuesday. He was 15 and had kidney disease.

You are doing the kindest thing for your boy, so treasure the lovely memories you have and feel proud to have had him in your life.

[rosieposey]

I took lots of photos yesterday and today - I don't know how i will tell DS ( he is nearly six) and Pippin sleeps with him every night.

I just don't know what i will do without him - he always used to come up to me and snuggle in and just touch my arm when he wanted a stroke, and always look me directly in the eyes like he knew everything that i was feeling - i think thats why i am so afraid to look at him tonight or in the morning. so much character and he just seemed he got me through a lot a few years ago, i know it sounds silly but he was so so special.

Thanks for your kind words ladies - it means a lot and its helping to just talk about it. This is the worst bit i think - the anticipation, when it is over we will all grieve but i think i am falling apart even before its happened.

Spickle - i am genuinely sorry for your loss, i feel so sad and you must be too.

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Ohhhh, so sorry rosie. You know you're doing the right thing, but it's so hard. About to start a thread about my old girl :(

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

Oh rosie you will grieve, but it won't always be this raw. They know, don't they, somehow?

[rosieposey]

Ah Luis - it's some comfort at least that i am not the only one and it comes to us all i suppose when we have pets.

I have two other cats - an oriental and a siamese who are brothers and they are only about 8 months old and seem so fit and young - i remember Pip being like that - its hard to believe it's so long ago.

[rosieposey]

God i hope he doesn't know :-( thats why the vet is coming here because i couldn't bear for him to be afraid so i thought it would be better done here on my bed which is his favourite spot during the day.

[rosieposey]

Here he is with DS - lovely boys

[Toocold]

I am so very sorry xx

[LuisSuarezTeeth]

He looks super comfy and cosy x

[timtam23]

What a lovely photo rosie. I agree with you about the anticipation being very hard. I had to arrange for my 2 old cats to be put to sleep & the last nights with both of them were sad, lots of crying, I felt very guilty.

In a way it was easier to process all of the emotions after the cats had died, even though I was devastated. It was tough when I'd made the decision that we'd reached the end of the road but still had that last night to spend with them.

Thoughts for tomorrow & a big stroke for your lovely boycat

[rosieposey]

He is - and i will go to bed shortly knowng that he has spent every one of his 14 years like that - happy and comfy :-)

Once again, thank you for your kind words, it really does mean a lot.

[Happypogostick]

This just breaks my heart. So sad- thoughts will be with you and Pippin. You know you are doing the right thing for him- a selfless choice.

[cozietoesie]

Actually, I'd disagree LuisSuarezTeeth - I don't think they do know. They can tell if you're upset but they won't necessarily know why that is.

Take care, rosie.

[code]

I'm so sorry. This is one of the kind things we can do for our pets when they're so unwell but it's very hard. He will be peaceful at home and know he is loved. My thoughts are with you.

[LastingLight]

((HUGS)) We had 2 pts earlier this year, it's heartbreaking.

[rosieposey]

Well thats it. He is gone - Vet came at one o clock and it was all very peaceful. DH held him and said how much we all loved him then blubbed in front of the vet as he passed away.

I can't stop crying and i can't believe he has gone. The vet said it was the kindest thing to do and that there was nothing that could have been done for him - he looked at me this morning and i felt so guilty - this is the first time i have ever had to do this.

He really was such a special boy and i will miss him so much - I'm heartbroken.

[DrElizabethPlimpton]

[HansieLove]

He was a lucky cat to have felt the love of your family for so many years. He was beautiful. Our Phoenix is buried outside and I talk to her sometimes. She was as different as could be from your Pip. She was a Maine Coon. My cat, Lola, is here with me now and concerned that I am crying.

[3littlewomen]

Dear Rosie,

What a lucky cat your Pippin was to have you and yours as his family - to love him, cherish him and ultimately make the hardest decision you could for him:- because you love him.
Thinking of you and family on your first night without Pippin. I hope someday soon you may open your home to another very lucky cat.

[Mitzimaybe]

It's so hard. I'm struggling with that decision myself at the moment.

It was lovely of your vet to do a home visit so your beautiful boy wasn't distressed by the trip to the vet. You really did a good thing.

Be gentle on yourself, allow yourself to mourn.

[rosieposey]

Aw Hansie - i never thought i would feel so bloody devastated, well actually thats not true, i was dreading this day and for the last couple of years i have known it was coming. I like Maine Coons - beautiful cats :-) I am sorry for your loss i truly am x

[rosieposey]

Mitzi - you will know when the time is right, i did. I put a piece of his favourite ham down at the beginning of this week and he wouldn't touch it - he just gave up more or less.

DD2 stayed with him on our bed all this morning trying to give him his favourite things but he wouldn't eat at all. Bless him he had had enough i think.

[ghostyslovesheep]

I'm so sorry :( it's heartbreaking xxxx

[Fluffycloudland77]

I am sorry, I rarely post on these threads because I dread the day fluffy cat goes.

It's better to end like this than to watch them suffer. You did the right thing but the feelings of loss are all consuming.

Don't feel guilty.