Not sure what's best for our cat :-(

[cookiewoo]

Our 12/13 year male cat is not at all well. In August he developed a really swollen abdomen. He looked like he'd swallowed a big ball. We took him to the vets who diagnosed fluid retention caused by heart failure. It was decided that he was too old to treat as he may not survive an operation. We were told to keep an eye on him & to bring him in when the time comes. Obviously we were devastated! He is a MUCH loved cat. Since then he has really slowed down. He doesn't move about much. Rarely goes outside and hardly eats a thing. He has also swollen even more. Even his face is huge (he looks like Bagpuss) & he can't open his eyes much as his face is so swollen.
He doesn't appear to be in any pain (although I understand that cats can hide this well) and he still wants to sit on our laps and be cuddled. He basically just sits/sleeps all the time.
I just don't know what to do. Is it time to take him to the vets to have him put to sleep? We want to keep him as long as possible but we absolutely do not want him to suffer. I just don't know whether to take him to the vets soon or wait for him to deteriorate more. If he is not in pain now then we would like him still with us.
Does anyone have any experience or advice on this?
TIA

[frostyfingers]

Take him to the vets - they'll advise you what to do for the best. There's an oft repeated phrase along the lines of "better a day too soon than a day too late".

[Lilybensmum1]

Poor you that's horrible, he sounds happy though, don't know much about this but wanted to post as am a cat lover, you clearly know your cat well but as previous op said may be worth letting the vet check him over if you are wondering about him, they will advise and hopefully reassure you.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

First step is the vets. See what they say.

I can only repeat what's already been said. Better a day to soon than a minute too late.

I'm. So sorry about your cat

[cookiewoo]

Thank you for your responses. I will make a vets appointment for him. I guess I'm just a bit scared as to what they might advise! But I trust that they will obviously know what's best for him.
As I type this he is on my lap having a cuddle. He's a gorgeous boy :-)

[girliefriend]

I hate to say it but I think it may be 'time' for your cat my understanding is that when a cat is in pain they will sleep as much as possible and from what you have described I think he will be very uncomfortable.

I am so sorry.

[cookiewoo]

I think you are right girlie. He's definitely withdrawing himself & not acting at all normal. He's booked in to go to the vets on Friday (that's the next time we can get there) We are going to try to enjoy our last few days with him x

[Lovethesea]

So sorry. When my cat had his leg smashed by a car he got himself home and slept on my bed all day pretending to be fine. It was only when he got off I saw it was twisted up and clearly badly injured. Took tons of surgery, pins and cage rest before he was ok again, but he was only 3.

So I would always presume they are in pain if in doubt, I have had to put beloved cats to sleep and I am glad they had a calm loved end not off hiding under a bush by themselves. I missed the time with them I wanted, but they had no regrets or concerns about how long they lived for, just that they were fed and loved.

[frostyfingers]

It's really hard, but comfort yourself that you are doing the best you can for him. Lots of love and cuddles and special foods - what a lovely way to spend your last few days.

[tipsyloolah]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Our cat died almost a year ago and I was so grateful for the support and help I got on MN.

Like you, I was in two minds. He seemed fine, but wasn't eating at all and losing a lot of weight. We took him to the vet, got lots of tests, and was found to have lots of tumours. Decided to take him home for one last night before being PTS.

I was in bits. He was jumping about, purring, seemed in no pain, so I was wondering whether I had rushed into it. I got such kind words here and people who knew more than I ever could told me how it could all change so quickly, that he could be in terrible way within 24 hours even.

So I stuck to the decision and I really do feel it was the best one. He had his last morning lying in the sun, and it was all very peaceful.

I think we're incredibly privileged to have animals in our lives, but we have to make some tough choices. I would have hated for my lovely cat to just disappear off to die, and I hope we did the best for him.

I think all I can say is that you know you love him, you know you'll be heartbroken, and you just have to accept it will hurt you - but his needs come first and it just sound like it's time.

[cookiewoo]

Thank you all for your kind words and advice. Our cat deteriorated quite quickly today. We got him to the vets and he was put to sleep. We stayed with him & it was very quick & peaceful.
We are obviously heart broken but feel very lucky that we had him. He was an absolutely brilliant cat.
It's amazing what an impact these fury bundles have on us! We going to really miss him.

[Gileswithachainsaw]

Oh no so sorry. Sweet dreams kitten

[Lilybensmum1]

Sorry cookie so sad for you, cats do have such an impact on our lives.

[girliefriend]

Sorry to hear this Cookie a friends cat had heart failure and I couldn't believe how quickly they deteriorated.

Hope you are o.kay

[code]

I'm really sorry, you did the right thing. I hope you're ok.

[Lovethesea]

So sorry for your loss. I hope the calm ending will in the end be one of your happy memories of him.

[frostyfingers]

Sorry for your loss, knowing you've done right by him should help your grief a little. It's so very hard though, they worm their way into your heart and family and it takes a long while for the pain to ease.

[timtam23]

So sorry cookie
Both of my old cats have died in the last year and I still well up a little when I think of them and all the years they spent with me. You will have lots of lovely memories of him I am sure.