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Our 1.5 yr old boy-cat got run over on Monday.

(11 Posts)
Merrythulu Wed 19-Feb-14 23:22:16

And sadly, he died before he got to the vet. We're devastated, and burying him yesterday was really tough on DC's 1 & 2, who're old enough to realise and understand - 3 & 4 are ASD and 5 and 3, so thankfully they've been spared any loss.
His sister-cat is naturally missing him, searching everywhere for him periodically, leaving him food, miaowing for him, and looking worried.
However we're now worried about how long we ought to/can leave it before we get another one. DH says a kitten might be easier to integrate, as Thulu-GirlCat might mother it, and that we should do it in a couple of weeks, so she's had time to adjust to Thulu-Boycat's departure, but not had long enough to get lonely or get used to being solo-cat.
I've no bloody idea, as they were/are my first family cats. Any advice? I don't want to do it too early, but I don't want to leave it too long, either.

StrawberryTartYum Thu 20-Feb-14 00:07:22

I'm so sorry to hear that it is so painful to lose a pet
(((hugs)))
Sorry I don't have any advice, my first pets as an adult are still with me and we had so many as children that there was never a period when just one was left, but I think that it would be easier on you all to leave it a little while? As the sister cat is missing her brother it should give her time to adjust, and not associate the new kitten with her brother going? I hope that your DCs are ok.

Merrythulu Thu 20-Feb-14 01:47:05

I think the dc's are ok - they went back to their dad's yesterday evening; they have a birthday over there tomorrow, and then they're back late tomorrow for dc3's birthday on friday.
I've managed to get through today without crying - I think we were all very shocked, because he was so young still, and DH had seen him in the early hours of the morning, and I'd not long been up when the vets called, and it was obviously a complete surprise. What was so saddening was that the lady who took him in said that people had just been walking straight past him - he had a collar, so he was obviously a pet, and if someone had just bothered to stop a little earlier we might still have him with us. He was warm when he got to the vet, but they couldn't revive him. He was so lovely, as well; everybody's friend, always around, guarding the house, hunting mice, following us to the loo and he loved the smell of perfume and make-up. He used to rub against our legs as soon as we got out of the bath, and was so intrigued by dd's make-up that he left a claw-mark in one of her eye shadows! He was so gentle, and I think my favourite thing about him was that he used to play with dc4 in the garden in the summer - they were always out there together. But life has to go on, so I got back to work today. Poor DH had to go into London on Monday, after picking up Thulu-cat from the vet, then work on Tuesday while digging the grave, having the funeral and coping with us all crying all the time. As usual, he's been the star. But it's over, and I'm sure the pain will lessen over time. I'm just grateful it was quick, and relatively painless - it would have been far worse to have a long, protracted death.

lbab1702 Thu 20-Feb-14 06:49:54

I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy. He sounded like a little darling and It's heart breaking that he's suddenly gone. I have no experience about getting a kitten in this situation but just wanted to send you all a hug.

Merrythulu Thu 20-Feb-14 08:26:32

Thank you. Now we've buried him, I'm mainly concerned about his sister - she's naturally going out looking for him, coming back wet and cold, looking for him around the house, in all the nooks and crannies, and before now, she's been leaving some food in the bowl for him. This morning, she's left the whole lot, so she's obviously worried about him. I know this is normal behaviour for when a companion or sibling cat dies or go missing, but I'm wondering how long it will last. I think what we shall do, is just see how she goes, and once she's stopped looking for him, maybe that might be a good point to get a kitten that she might mother?

Wishyouwould Thu 20-Feb-14 10:53:59

So sorry OP, how heartbreaking for you flowers

Hope you get some advice from someone who's been in the same position, it's a difficult one.

stanisdead Thu 20-Feb-14 18:36:32

Sorry to hear this Merry, the same thing happened to us and I feel your heartache. Our cats were litter mates, brother and sister, and when boycat died his sister was very distressed. They were only 8 months old at the time sad.

We left it 6 months before getting another, hadn't really planned to but I was pg and we were worried that girlcat, who had become quite clingy to me by then, would be a problem when baby arrived. It's all been fine. New kitten - also girl - was hissed at by girlcat for the first couple of hours, then girlcat decided to play Mum. It's been pretty much that way ever since, and almost 10 years down the line they love to cuddle up and groom each other.

Hope this helps. Be kind to yourself, it really is very hard to lose a cat, particularly when they're so young.

Merrythulu Thu 20-Feb-14 20:31:27

Thank-you. The house does feel so empty without him today. I've rung the vet and the insurance company, so that's all done. We've changed the food bowl so that one side is food, and the other water, and have taken away the old separate water bowl, to try and help her understand that he's gone. She rubbed up against my legs for the first time ever tonight, so she's either getting more friendly because she's topcat, or because she's worried. She's been out a lot today, and it's not particularly nice out there, so I guess she's still looking for him.
It must have been so hard to lose an 8 month old though - it's been hard enough with Thulu-boycat, and he was 1 and a half. I think I've just been quite surprised at how attached to him I was, though, so I really feel for dc1 (whose cat he was,) and dc2. I'm sure we'll be ok soon, it just feels so weird without him around. And I'm sure if we get another cat, it will come at the right time - I guess I just wanted to know whether we ought to or not, for Thulu-girlcat's sake. sad

ThistledownAndCobweb Thu 20-Feb-14 20:41:37

Such sad news.

We had two feral female cats (sisters) one was very friendly, the other very shy. The shy cat would only come near us with her sister.
The bold cat was killed on the road, hit by a tractor and died at once.

The shy girl disappeared for 48 hours, we think she was hunting for her litter mate. She spent several weeks prowling the fields behind our house looking for her.
She did settle down after a while (we did have other cats) and now she bosses the boy cats around, although she's still unwilling to be stroked which is really sad because when we first had her she would allow it if her sister was there.
Ironically we've just got another female cat and they hate each other with a passion. Lots of glaring and chasing.

mydoorisalwaysopen Thu 20-Feb-14 21:05:19

so sorry you lost your cat. The same thing happened to us several years ago. We ended up not getting another cat and the sister really blossomed once she got used to the fact that he wasn't around anymore. Sadly we lost her a few years later and it took another 4 years before we plucked up the courage to get another cat.

stanisdead Thu 20-Feb-14 21:22:50

It was very hard, yes. We were away when it happened and by the time we got back, our lovely neighbours had buried him in our garden. In some ways I was glad not to have seen him like that, but for weeks after I was expecting him to pop through the cat flap. I'm sad that the DCs never met him, he was a super friendly little guy and I think he and they would have gotten along great. The girl cats are not big kiddie fans and tend to hide out until DCs are in bed.

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