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Still missing my cat Dotty that died in Nov

(9 Posts)
tabbycat15 Thu 02-May-13 09:47:50

She was 15 & died of pancreatitis. She came to Australia, back to the UK then back to Australia again.
It was like losing a child when she died. My son had my favourite picture of her curled up in her basket done on a canvas. I look at her everyday. We still talk about her.

We have Sophie who's 4 that we adopted as a kitten. She is very sweet but not a lap cat like Dotty was.

We had Dotty cremated & have her ashes. We bought a white rose in a pot & called it Dotty's rose.
Is there anything else to help get over her death I can do?

cozietoesie Thu 02-May-13 09:52:13

I don't think so, tabbycat15. They leave a hole in your heart as well as your life. Time will overlay things a bit.

Dumbledoresgirl Thu 02-May-13 09:54:48

Time is the only healer I know I'm afraid.

I am very sorry for your loss. I know how it feels. Back in 1983 I lost my childhood cat companion. The anniversary of her death was the other day. I still remembered her on the day. sad

Eventually, the happiness you will feel that you had such a special relationship with her will be greater than the pain you feel now, but it will take time. {hugs}

tabbycat15 Thu 02-May-13 10:01:51

Thank you Dumbledoresgirl &Cozietoesie. X

NinaHeart Thu 02-May-13 11:55:57

I feel for you. Our only cat died in January (almost 15) and I buried him in the garden, it helps to have flowers on his plot (forget me nots) and to say "Good morning kitty" every day.
But they are family and grieving just takes its time.

I was told to look for the brightest star in Heaven and that was our cat telling us he had got there safely. Now it is known as "catstar".

fackinell Thu 02-May-13 12:01:53

I still miss my boy terribly, Tabby. He died in October and also travelled with me. I speak to him every day and our new kitten guards his grave. I agree with the others that time is the only healer but hand holding anyway. thanks

ZebraOwl Fri 03-May-13 00:57:43

The death of a pet is the same as any other death in that time is the only thing that will make it hurt less.

Having the picture sounds good, ditto the rosebush that is "hers". If you are at all into craft you could make a memory book/box to remind you of all the happinesses Dotty brought you. The act of making can be therapeutic in & of itself & you would then have something to go to/through if missing Dotty is particularly acute.

Letting yourself grieve is very important: do not give any headspace to the idea that You Should Be Okay By Now [She Was Only A Cat]. There isn't a nice neat timeline for grief, a ticklist to work through over a set time-frame & then everything will be okay. Which is, in many ways, really quite rubbish, but I try to focus on the fact that feeling so much pain is the flipside of having known so much love & that time DOES make it all hurt less.

Be gentle with yourself

tabbycat15 Fri 03-May-13 03:05:31

Thank you everyone for your kind words. Our vets were very nice. They sent us a per loss pack & a card addresses to Dotty's family. They had taken Dotty's paw print which was a lovely thought. We had some candles, pot pouri, sun flower seeds to plant & a beautiful poem called rainbow bridge. There was a leaflet on how to make a memory box & how to deal with children with the loss of a pet. We put all her things in a shoe box. We went through all photos & made up an album. The girls each have a photo in a frame in their bedrooms.

tabbycat15 Fri 03-May-13 03:05:57


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