He's a 7 year old male Siamese. I can't sit down ONCE without him appearing and cramming himself onto my lap. It's all very nice if I am watching tv or reading but I can't have him bugging me when I'm working or eating.
It's literally every time I sit down anywhere...he gets on. If he sees there's no room because of my laptop or book, he just sits on my chest or shoulder. If I push him off, he gets back on...over and bloody over again!
I sit down to eat and he thinks he can sit on me and look at/breathe on my bloody dinner! 
He only does this to me. He sits on DH in the evening but seems to think I'm his to take advantage of all day long!
Ive just spent 5 minutes shoving him off repeatedly as my laptop is on my knee and he's tapped me firmly with one claw and squeezed partly UNDER my laptop!
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The litter tray
I sometimes feel harrassed by my cat! He is a bully!
BigWitchLegsInWailyTights · 10/10/2012 10:22
But he's picking on me! It's a campaign of terror!
It was the jab with the single claw that made me bitter.
it is not his job to love you. It is your job to serve him.
Get with the programme, woman.
I have a cat like this - she's not comfortable around other people unless they're ill and can't get away from her, I'm which case she'll not leave their side. But failing someone prone, she picks on me exclusively. She's also very fat - how we don't know as we can't imagine any of the neighbours looking at her and thinking she wants feeding up - and it's astonishingly painful to have her walk across you, like an elephant in stilettos.
Our tom on the other hands only comes in about once every 36 hours, shouts his head off for food and love, then buggers off again.
We're very privileged as cat owners
My brother in law has a cat that clamps himself to my bils arm and shags it.
I think you should be grateful, frankly.
I will swap you for Sparkling Cat (pic on profile) who will sit next to you but not on your lap. 
She is very aloof generally.
Would he like to come and live with me? I only have a pet toad. And moulting chickens. None of these are at all cuddly.
You appear to have temporarily forgotten the hierarchy in your household: cat at top of triangle and minions at the bottom
My cat is aloof, unless she is cold, and will only sit / lie on me if there is a duvet between us. (I think this may be because I don't have enough padding on my bones). She loves being groomed though and offers me her tummy to rub, so I can't be all bad!
She will only sit on my DH if he has fed her and is surprisingly gracious with the DC, considering extreme provocation
He's buggered off now. Probably read this thread and is plotting ways to teach me a lesson! 
Greenhill, one of mine is like that... Totally aloof with me and dp but lovely to the kids
Both my older girls are mad at me atm because of the kittens anyway. Big boy cat is going through a humping us if we cuddle him phase. And the kittens steal my spot on the couch and act all offended if I try and squeeze my arse in next to them.
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How dare you sit next to the cat! Didn't you know how exhausted it is from sleeping 18+ hours a day . You should have been preparing it a tasty treat.
20 years ago, I took my cat to the vet because it slept all day. After a good laugh, he explained that my childhood cat, had probably not been out hunting rodents all day, but had probably been asleep in someone else's garden!
they do have an astounding capacity to sleep.
And an even more astounding capacity to materialise fast asleep in my seat whenever I get up for even a split second
YY you always know where the warmest point in the house is because that is where the cat sleeps. I love the way they track the sunlight around the house, so their fur is always warm 
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