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I sometimes feel harrassed by my cat! He is a bully!

(45 Posts)
BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:22:13

He's a 7 year old male Siamese. I can't sit down ONCE without him appearing and cramming himself onto my lap. It's all very nice if I am watching tv or reading but I can't have him bugging me when I'm working or eating.

It's literally every time I sit down anywhere...he gets on. If he sees there's no room because of my laptop or book, he just sits on my chest or shoulder. If I push him off, he gets back on...over and bloody over again!

I sit down to eat and he thinks he can sit on me and look at/breathe on my bloody dinner! angry

He only does this to me. He sits on DH in the evening but seems to think I'm his to take advantage of all day long!

Ive just spent 5 minutes shoving him off repeatedly as my laptop is on my knee and he's tapped me firmly with one claw and squeezed partly UNDER my laptop!

HecateLarpo Wed 10-Oct-12 10:31:09

You are being very unreasonable. And unrealistic. And naive.

Do you not understand that your only purpose in life is to service the needs of your master cat?

How dare you presume that it is ok for you to not offer your knee for sitting and your hands for stroking at any time he desires.

I am just surprised that he has not had you horsewhipped for this disgusting dereliction of duty.

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:33:50


But he's picking on me! It's a campaign of terror!

It was the jab with the single claw that made me bitter.

tabulahrasa Wed 10-Oct-12 10:39:20

He loves you...

HecateLarpo Wed 10-Oct-12 10:40:10

no. He is being reasonable. It is you who is at fault. I am astounded by your lack of guilt.

SummerRain Wed 10-Oct-12 10:45:43

Siamese are nutters.

Have you tried being wildly over affectionate when he sits on you? Law of Cats states if you act like you want him there he'll refuse to come within 10 feet of you.

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:46:05

DOES he love me though? Or just my heat? And the fact that I am relatively squashy?

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:46:52

Summers yes..I've tried it and he UNDULATES and rolls about....and loves it. He's only sniffy when DH comes in and then he dumps me.

HecateLarpo Wed 10-Oct-12 10:48:46

hmm it is not his job to love you. It is your job to serve him.

Get with the programme, woman.

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:51:36

I confess that I am still learning how to serve him Hecate he came here a year ago having found too many failings in his old human.

I will try harder.

DameFannyGallopsAtaGhost Wed 10-Oct-12 10:52:36

I have a cat like this - she's not comfortable around other people unless they're ill and can't get away from her, I'm which case she'll not leave their side. But failing someone prone, she picks on me exclusively. She's also very fat - how we don't know as we can't imagine any of the neighbours looking at her and thinking she wants feeding up - and it's astonishingly painful to have her walk across you, like an elephant in stilettos.

Our tom on the other hands only comes in about once every 36 hours, shouts his head off for food and love, then buggers off again.

We're very privileged as cat owners hmm

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 10:54:13

He's now sitting on my arms...pinioning them to my midriff. Typing is hard,

tabulahrasa Wed 10-Oct-12 11:06:51

Of course he loves you...though I do believe that being the loved person of a Siamese means that you are supposed to spend all of your time loving them back, at least that's what mine seems to be telling me.

PrincessSymbian Wed 10-Oct-12 11:30:46

What happens if you close him out of the room your in? I am a bad cat slave

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 11:46:47

He meows and taps the door repeatedly.

HecateLarpo Wed 10-Oct-12 12:27:04

My brother in law has a cat that clamps himself to my bils arm and shags it.

I think you should be grateful, frankly.


Sparklingbrook Wed 10-Oct-12 12:29:58

envy I will swap you for Sparkling Cat (pic on profile) who will sit next to you but not on your lap. sad She is very aloof generally.

hellymelly Wed 10-Oct-12 12:33:19

Would he like to come and live with me? I only have a pet toad. And moulting chickens. None of these are at all cuddly. envy

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 13:10:48

Aw! Helly you would be welcome to borrow him but I think your toad might complain about it!

greenhill Wed 10-Oct-12 13:32:14

You appear to have temporarily forgotten the hierarchy in your household: cat at top of triangle and minions at the bottom grin

My cat is aloof, unless she is cold, and will only sit / lie on me if there is a duvet between us. (I think this may be because I don't have enough padding on my bones). She loves being groomed though and offers me her tummy to rub, so I can't be all bad!

She will only sit on my DH if he has fed her and is surprisingly gracious with the DC, considering extreme provocation grin

WitchesWreakinHavoc Wed 10-Oct-12 13:42:38

envy I need a fluffly cuddle! send him this way smile

BigWitchLegsInWailyTights Wed 10-Oct-12 14:02:26

He's buggered off now. Probably read this thread and is plotting ways to teach me a lesson! shock

SummerRain Wed 10-Oct-12 15:12:59

Greenhill, one of mine is like that... Totally aloof with me and dp but lovely to the kids hmm

Both my older girls are mad at me atm because of the kittens anyway. Big boy cat is going through a humping us if we cuddle him phase. And the kittens steal my spot on the couch and act all offended if I try and squeeze my arse in next to them.

greenhill Thu 11-Oct-12 10:33:16

How dare you sit next to the cat! Didn't you know how exhausted it is from sleeping 18+ hours a day envy. You should have been preparing it a tasty treat.

20 years ago, I took my cat to the vet because it slept all day. After a good laugh, he explained that my childhood cat, had probably not been out hunting rodents all day, but had probably been asleep in someone else's garden!

SummerRain Thu 11-Oct-12 14:07:41

grin they do have an astounding capacity to sleep.

And an even more astounding capacity to materialise fast asleep in my seat whenever I get up for even a split second hmm

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