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Feel that I've let my cat down

(5 Posts)
hiddenhome Thu 11-Aug-11 23:18:22

I have a rescue cat who's getting on now and is about 14. She's antisocial and keeps herself to herself. She is hostile if you try to pick her up and recently savaged my hand when I tried to catch her to take her to the vets for her jabs.

My younger cat was killed on the road recently and I have no adopted another rescue cat who's about 2. He's very pleasant and amiable and is fitting in well. He shows no hostility towards my older cat and just seems confused when she growls at him. He's physically quite big and spends his time running around enjoying the space after being in the RSPCA rescue place.

Trouble is, my older cat is totally fed up now and spends her time in ds2's loft bed glaring at us. I have to put her food in the bedroom and she's been off it a bit which she can't afford to do because she doesn't eat much as it is.

I now feel totally guilty and am wondering what I've done with getting another cat.

I have a Feliway diffuser plugged in which is working for her and she is quite calm, but just depressed.

Will she pick up eventually? Is this a common thing. I have always had kittens in the past which she's adjusted to very quickly, but never an adult cat.

What should I do?

Fluffycloudland77 Fri 12-Aug-11 10:37:53

It will get better, sounds like a major sulk. Lots of fuss they get over it in their own time.

RedwingWinter Fri 12-Aug-11 16:56:41

It will get better with time. It's good that you've moved her food to somewhere she can get it without going near the new cat. If you keep giving her lots of fuss (when she'll let you) that will help her not feel left out.

You can also try swapping scent between the two cats. Rub a cloth on one cats cheeks and then go and rub it on the other cats cheeks. Smelling a bit like the other cat will make her like him more. Actually though it's better to take this more slowly if she is hissing at him - rub a cloth on the new cat's cheeks and then put it somewhere near her. If she's not hissing at the cloth then you can progress to rubbing it on her cheeks. You can transfer her scent to the new cat too. When cats get along with each other, they rub up against each other (the way she probably rubs up against you) to transfer scent and show they are friends.

You can also try giving the cats a treat when they are near each other, so that they associate something positive with the other cat's presence. To begin with, near each other might just mean in the same room, but it will get closer over time.

Sometimes cats just don't get on, but they don't have to be friends, so long as they will tolerate each other's company. It's a big change for an old cat so she probably just needs more time.

emmam25 Fri 12-Aug-11 21:24:43

I have two cats as well, one older rescue cat and one I adopted from a friend who had her from a kitten. No matter how friendly my little lady is with my old boy he still doesn't like her!

They've been together for a few months now and although they'll feed together and get treats from at the same time he still has the occasional hiss at her when she tries to be more friendly or if she just comes to close.

I think in time they'll sort themselves out into a routine! Just make sure to give her the type of attention she does enjoy and swapping scents is a good idea (we did this when we first introduced our two).

Good luck!

hiddenhome Sat 13-Aug-11 23:05:43

Thank you for the suggestion about swapping scents. My older cat has currently moved into ds2's bed and just stays there. She is eating okay, but I have the catflap locked to keep them new one in, so she's not going outside at the moment. I might try to get dh to pick her up tomorrow and give her a break outside and so that she can get some grass. I am worrying about her constantly though.

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