Is this grief normal?

[sle0911]

We lost our beautiful 11 year old dog yesterday, who we had had since he was 8 weeks, all quite sudden, he had been unwell for about a week, Vets thought he had a UTI to start with but when the antibiotics weren't working they decided to scan him and found out he had prostate cancer - this was never confirmed but the were sure this is what it was. We found this out on the Thursday and by Saturday night we just knew he was suffering, he was constantly moving around as he couldn't get comfortable, he was panting and shivering and was unable to wee or poo, we didn't want to wait any longer and didn't want him suffering so Sunday morning he was PTS. I am absolutely devastated, I can't shake the whole guilty feeling and all I keep seeing is his big brown eyes looking up at me when they were administering the medication. Please someone tell me this guilty feeling goes away? The way I'm feeling now I feel like this feeling will never leave me, I just want one more cuddle 😢

[lolbrador]

I am so sorry for your loss. I posted a very similar thread in July when we lost our lovely big boy and I have never felt so broken hearted in all of my life. It really is a feeling like no other. I think a tiny bit of that feeling will always be there, however it does get less and less every day. I can think about my old boy now without crying and I'm starting to think of all of the wonderful memories we shared. I too would give a lot to get one last cuddle. We really don't deserve dogs. As for the feelings of guilt, please don't do that to yourself. As someone wise said to me, better a day too early than a day too late and it really is the most selfless thing we can do for these amazing creatures. Take care of yourself

[doodleygirl]

How awful, I’m so sorry for your loss. You gave your boy a wonderful life and so many happy memories.

[Giraffey1]

It hurts like hell, doesn’t it. But I promise you, it does get better. We lost our old dog in the middle of lockdown, and although I knew he’d had a good life and it it was his time, I still felt like I had been eviscerated. But after a while, the pain eased and now, although I still miss him, I can look at photos of him and remember him with love without turning into a bawling mess.

[Motorina]

Yes. It’s normal.

It’s awful.

People who don’t have dogs will never understand.

It does get better.

[sle0911]

Thank you so much everyone, it's nice to know I'm not alone feeling like this. Just can't wait for the pain to ease slightly. I think I feel worse because they took him him for his cannula then called us back in the room and as we walked in he was so happy to see us, got up was wagging his tail, It made me think was it actually the right time, but I'm trying to think back to Saturday night knowing he was in pain. It's just awful. We have had horrendous service with the out of hours vets too which is a whole other story. I don't think il feel any better until I have his ashes back, hate the thought of him being there on his own 😞

[spiderlight]

So very sorry. It's just the most awful, awful feeling, especially when it's sudden and you have so little time to get your head around it. It will get better, though, I promise.