Guilt over having dog PTS

(14 Posts)
Namechange30000000 Sat 12-Sep-20 18:38:09

My 12 year old dog had arthritis and heart failure. She panted a lot most of the time, fell over lots, Wet herself so had to be bathed 2/3 times a day, which she didn’t like. She struggled to settle at night, as she couldn’t get comfy/needed a drink constantly. She started snapping at us as we bathed her/picked her up when she fell.

I booked the appointment to give us the rest of the week together. In the last few days she was restful, maybe she would’ve improved. She made an awful sound when she has the anaesthetic injection that I’ll never forget. She could still be here today, she could’ve lasted a while longer. Her natural passing could’ve been more peaceful.

Just needed to vent really.

OP’s posts: |
LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett Sat 12-Sep-20 18:54:03

I am so sorry for your loss, but I honestly, honestly 100% believe the saying ' better a day early than a week too late.' She was in pain and you made the right, responsible decision. I know it's painful, but it is the last thing we do for them and you did it well. Un-Mumsnetty hugs for you.

ArcherDog Sat 12-Sep-20 18:57:35

She could still be here today, she could’ve lasted a while longer. Her natural passing could’ve been more peaceful.
I can guarantee it wouldn’t have been. By the time you notice your dog is in pain, they have been suffering for a while.

The saying goes- ‘better a week early than a day late’

You gave her a humane end to her suffering, in repayment for the years of love she gave you.
It’s the hardest but most crucial part of being a dog owner.

The noise most likely would have been involuntary. Euthanasia is designed to be like falling asleep.
And she fell asleep next to the person she loved the most.

You will of course doubt yourself as you grieve, but you did the right thing.

PollyRoulson Sat 12-Sep-20 20:01:07

Please do not doubt yourself.

Sometimes PTS is not a calm experience - I have witnessed one that was very traumatic.

However you did do the right thing, your vet also made the final decision with you. She would not have improved but maybe had worse days than she had already had.

You did the right thing and it is right you should grieve but do not question your decision. You have just done the kindest act you could have ever done

flowers take care and be kind to yourself

Namechange30000000 Sat 12-Sep-20 21:46:01

Thank you. It’s the first time I’ve had to make the decision to PTS when it hasn’t been an emergency situation. Very different and difficult.

OP’s posts: |
GrimDamnFanjo Sun 13-Sep-20 01:55:22

I hear you. When we had to make this difficult decision I honestly felt like a murderer! Time has helped and I think part of the grieving process is to think they could have lasted longer or you could have tried something else.
Making the decision to PTS is the downside of dog ownership and nothing prepares you for this responsibility . Remember that this was the kindest end to a wellloved life xxx

SelkieQualia Sun 13-Sep-20 02:03:38

You did the right thing, OP. She had a nice few last days. Far better that she have a nice few last days, than spend her last days drowning. Sorry to be blunt, but with heart failure, that's sort of what happens. The lungs fill with fluid.


Anordinarymum Sun 13-Sep-20 02:32:51

You know you did the right thing. i'm sorry she made that noise.
I have had to have lots of my best friends put to sleep and it is never an easy decision to make, but it is always the right decision for a friend who has given you unconditional love always.
To be able to do this when they are not enjoying life as they should is the kindest thing you can do for them.

andsoitbeginsagain Sun 13-Sep-20 12:36:27

Gosh - you absolutely did the right thing - no question.

Of course you are devastated - it must have been so difficult. I really feel for you.

It will be tough but I would urge you to process that last moment - accept it happened but move on and make a conscious decision to not dwell in it. Try to remember all your amazing times. That little dog would have been so grateful to be out of the suffering.

You are a wonderful and kid human and you should hold on to that and all the lovely memories of your dog.

MumtherofCats Mon 14-Sep-20 21:38:02

I think no matter how a pet dies, it's a normal part of the process to question everything you've done and wonder if it could have been different.

She was terminally ill and suffering. A natural death would not have been peaceful. I kept my cat alive when he was very ill and he ended up dying at home/in the car on the way to the vet. It was horrific, long, not at all peaceful, and very difficult to watch. I was so upset that I hadn't been able to help him go in a faster and less painful way. You did the right thing.

Sunnydaysstillhere Mon 14-Sep-20 21:44:08

Our ddog survived cancer last year at 9. Sadly this year she was showing signs of a brain tumour.. Temperament changes. Dangerous, aggressive...
We chose a date 2 weeks ahead - Pancake Day. Fish and chips the day before, beach walks off lead . I wasn't prepared for the guilty feelings... Dead weight on my chest.
Can't yet look at all the pictures I had printed off and framed. If time is a healer it's a slow speed..
Sorry for your loss op. I don't doubt you put ddog before your own feelings. As we have to do.
That's what makes us responsible pet owners..

sle0911 Tue 15-Sep-20 12:47:04

I'm having these exact feelings, our beautiful 11 year old boy was put to sleep 2 days ago and the guilt I feel is horrendous. Can't shake it, I think deep down I know we did the right thing but I can't help but think he could still be here now (although I know that would be cruel as he was in pain) I was never prepared for the heart ache of losing a dog, missing him so much.

Our experience has been made worse by a horrendous service from the out of hours vets which is a whole other story.

Namechange30000000 Thu 17-Sep-20 17:28:40

Thank you all. Sunny and * sle0911* flowers. Sle If you want to talk about it you’re welcome to, here or PM.

OP’s posts: |
Baybetterdays Fri 18-Sep-20 23:11:29

Please don’t torture yourself. My dog bounded over, a bit limpy, to meet the vet and died eating chicken and wagging his tail. Like he lived.

You spared your dog more falling, wetting itself and pain. They don’t have the same concept of life and death, they live in the moment. Her moments were no longer enough. Personally, having seen people waste away, I’m grateful I was able to spare my dog months of suffering - right decision for him (horrible for me). Mostly, no more pain. Be kind to yourself OP.

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