Lady keeps interfering

(24 Posts)
Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 14:48:53

Hi, I adopted a dog a few months ago. Gorgeous little terrier chihuahua cross who is nearly two. Don't think he was mistreated but did not have a consistent home until he came to us.

He's very loyal and loving but can be nervous with new people and it seems like he doesn't quite know how to react with other dogs - pulling, jumping, barking - if someone stops to talk he will little settle and have a sniff of the other dog but it can take time. I've been clicker training him so when he is calm around another dog he gets a click and a treat etc but this is taking time and sometimes getting his attention is difficult.

A couple of days after I adopted him I was walking him around where I live. A lady passed with her dog (who was off the lead) and this dog came trotting straight over. My dog reacted as he normally does and she told me I needed to control my dog better. I explained he was brand new to me and she basically said stop making excuses, you need to get this under control (which I don't necessarily disagree with but just found her incredibly rude). I was so annoyed as whilst my dog was being crazy I did have control of him as he was on a lead unlike hers.

Seen her a couple of times since and she keeps commenting on me saying make sure you have a tight hold of him. Same thing this morning even after I'd gone through the whole clicker training thing so at least she could see I was trying to do something.

AIBU that this is really starting to wind me up and also does anyone have any tips for training a dog who is like this? We are making progress but it's slow! I honestly think he just gets overexcited but I can understand why other dog walkers would avoid us!

Thanks in advance for any advice!

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Martamaybe Fri 11-Sep-20 14:55:16

She is being unreasonable. Lots of dogs don’t like being approached by other dogs if they are on a lead themselves. Personally I’d change my walk to avoid her as your dog probably feels you tense when you see her which is not helping your training. It would wind me up too !

FatCatThinCat Fri 11-Sep-20 14:57:01

She needs to put her dog on a lead if she knows your dog will react. She's the one not in control of her animal.

AuntyPasta Fri 11-Sep-20 14:58:04

Your dog is on lead? Her dog is off lead and approaching a dog she knows has issues with other dogs being near it. She’s the one causing a problem and not controlling her dog.

Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:00:08

Thank you, the last couple of times I have seen her to be fair her dog has been on a lead. I genuinely can't tell if she thinks she is helping me like I haven't realised my dog is doing somersaults. I'll just try and keep my distance.

My DH did have a run in with her recently (when I wasn't there) and basically told her to mind her own business and he hadn't asked for her opinion. I tried to be nice this morning just because I hate drama but tbh I don't know if she even made the connection that it was the same dog

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AuntyPasta Fri 11-Sep-20 15:01:56

If he’s finding it a bit much being close to other dogs is there a bench that’s set back a bit from where there are other dogs passing by? You could try treating him for being calm/looking at you when there’s a dog 20 feet away and when he’s happy with that gradually closing the distance.

Soubriquet Fri 11-Sep-20 15:02:01

Sounds like a typical little chi and she needs to control her own dog

They are naturally nervous of other dogs which is understandable since most dogs are bigger than them!

My two will bark at other dogs, never attacked any but I’ve never let them off near them just in case.

If I see another dog, mine stay on their lead/get put on their lead.

If someone still lets their dogs go up to mine, I will block their dog.

So I put mine behind me and stop theirs from going near.

Not easy with two barking dogs but tbh people are good around here and won’t let their off lead dog approach an on lead dog

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Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:05:33

AuntyPasta

If he’s finding it a bit much being close to other dogs is there a bench that’s set back a bit from where there are other dogs passing by? You could try treating him for being calm/looking at you when there’s a dog 20 feet away and when he’s happy with that gradually closing the distance.

That is a really good idea! I have walked on one side of the road with a neighbour walking on the other side of the road with their dog to see how he'd be and he was interested but pretty good. There's also some lovely neighbours who know what we're doing and will chat for a while until he settles down and then he can go and say hello properly

I will definitely try that though! The place we adopted him from said he was good with other dogs so I think it just a case of new dogs and familiarisation etc. He was the same at first with people out and about but thats got a lot better unless weirdly they're carrying a bag!

OP’s posts: |
ColleagueFromMars Fri 11-Sep-20 15:12:21

I have a chi x rescue, very similar sounding behaviour and approach. She got "worse" as she settled in and felt more confident in herself, I think she felt more able to assert herself. She's not 100% and likely never will be but distract mark treat does work in making her episodes shorter or preventing them.

WRT the woman I'd stop being polite and tell her off rudely next time. If politeness isn't cutting it, be impolite. She's got no right to yap on at you.

Yokohamajojo Fri 11-Sep-20 15:14:41

Oh how annoying for you! I bet she thinks that just because your dog is small she thinks it's one of those that people don't bother training because it's small. She is very unreasonable, I had a horrible encounter with a lively husky who had apparently slipped his leed and was harassing my dog who was on the lead, just wouldn't leave my dog alone and my dog was growling and barking, basically to tell this dog to piss off! Of course the man couldn't get hold of his dog which didn't even have a collar shock if the dog at least had a harness or collar he could have grabbed him! Went on forever and we were stuck on a pathway with no escape

Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:16:30

@ColleagueFromMars Haha yes I would say we're in a period of behaviour slightly worsening as he feels more secure!

I'm thinking of booking one of those enclosed fields so he can have a good run about without me having to worry about other dogs and yes I know I do need to be more direct, I'm a big wuss! I was a bit miffed when DH said he'd had a run in with her and said he should have just ignored her but I know he's right to tell her off really

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Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:19:44

@Yokohamajojo

Exactly that!

Argh that sounds horrible, I have a real issue (fear) with dogs off leads in general tbh. It's always ohh don't worry he/she is friendly and I'm like yeah but you don't know if mine is.

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ColleagueFromMars Fri 11-Sep-20 15:21:22

How long have you had him? People say it takes 3 months to fully settle in but my girl was definitely still noticeably relaxing more up to 6 months or more in, and she did a good impression of a not stressed dog when she first arrived. Her rescue also said she mixed fine with other dogs, which she does if she gets to meet them off lead in a quiet environment. Or gets her "I'm the boss!" out of the way first grin

What's your boy likely crossed with? Any photos? I would love to see! (Sadly none of mine since she has a backstory about previous owners and I keep her off social media)

Itsrainingnotmen Fri 11-Sep-20 15:26:28

Good on your dh!! We have a ddoggy busybody here also!! Told me I needed a long line to train my Husky.. !! She wouldn't have it that Huskies aren't good off lead. And her ddog is a bloody bully imo - up in ddogs faces and ignores her completely!!

Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:30:28

@ColleagueFromMars We think he's Chihuahua Jack Russell X He's gorgeou. I'd love to post a pic but he's all over my social media haha! I don't post much here and nothing provocative but you never know. He's been with us just on 3 months and he's definitely settling. For example, I'm wfh and normally he is my by side all the time. The last few weeks whilst I've been working he's taken himself off to another room for a snooze

@Itsrainingnotmen That sounds completly infuriating!!!!

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Cocklepops Fri 11-Sep-20 15:33:17

People like that annoy me - she lets her dog simply run up to yours and get right in his face and then has the nerve to tell you it’s your dog that’s causing the issue?
Can you imagine what her reaction would be if you ran at her and started shrieking at her, sniffing her ears or butt 🤔 and then if she objects tell her she’s the one causing the problem by taking issue with your behaviour.

I’m certainly not suggesting you do that one day when you haven’t got your pup with you. No. That would be wrong.

Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 15:49:06

@Cocklepops I can't see an option for a laughing crying face but that times 100 - hahaha! grin

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Polnm Fri 11-Sep-20 16:11:54

Some people are self proclaimed dog experts

We had a really well trained and adorable lab. We live near a park and she was 100% on the lead there -although most are off and she only went there usually for her quick morning walk

From a puppy this woman used to offer me advice and I smiled politely. Kept telling we she had shown dogs at crufts. Was always really nice about my dog and how well she was doing

My DH took the dog out sometimes and she obviously didn’t realise it was the same dog. She used to criticise and berate him- don’t go they do this etc.

I later found out they She told someone else our dog had attacked a smaller dog (not true she was a submissive dog who was always on a lead!) And always telling us that x dog was vicious etc

She was just sad and lonely I think

We changed the time of our walk to avoid her and crossed over if we saw her.

ColleagueFromMars Fri 11-Sep-20 17:13:47

@Kirigiri oh snap, mine is crossed with JRT too!! grin

Lucky you with him going off to settle in another room while you work though. Mine settles in the same room, but also gets bored and has worked out that squeaky barks at eardrum splitting levels are very effective in zoom calls confused

Derbee Fri 11-Sep-20 17:43:14

No specific advice about your dog, but I agree with your DH. Tell her to mind her own business next time she says anything. Don’t add to your stress with what judgey busybodies have to say. You’ve got enough on your plate already.

Kirigiri Fri 11-Sep-20 18:44:45

@ColleagueFromMars haha mine likes to jump on my knee as soon as i go into a Teams or Zoom call and stare at all celebrity squareesque people. Thankfully my meetings are usually very informal

Thank you everyone! You’ve made me feel a lot better

OP’s posts: |
slipperywhensparticus Fri 11-Sep-20 18:55:12

Get a keep away lead? It says it in big letters if her and her dog approach ask her if she can read if she says yes ask her to respect your dogs personal space

Alexandernevermind Fri 11-Sep-20 19:06:36

Take a photo (or get a friend to) of her and her dog harassing yours and threaten to report her for allowing her dog to be dangerously out of control in a public place.

Purpledaisychain Sat 12-Sep-20 08:17:27

That kind of thing would piss me off big time and I would no doubt end up telling her that she is most definitely NOT God's gift to dog owners and to mind her own. Call me petty but I'd probably cross to the other side of the road when I saw her coming too, and not even be subtle about it.

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