Furious.. Please tell me if I am in the wrong here

(133 Posts)
HolyMolyMeOhMy Sun 06-Sep-20 13:41:22

Just been to the park with our 2 dogs who are always kept on their leads. They are well behaved dogs but one of them has always been very nervous and he doesn’t like being approached by other dogs or people, especially if they get right in his face, and reacts by barking and chewing on his lead. The other one is ok but can often give the impression that he wants to play with other dogs but then change his mind in a second and start yapping. For this reason they are both always kept close to us on their leads.
A large dog off its lead just approached us and tried to get close to the dogs, so we pulled them away. The dog wouldn’t go away so my DH asked the owners if they could get hold of it it. They eventually managed to call it away after several attempts. DH then says that it should be on a lead, to which the woman responds that the majority of the dogs in the park are also off lead. I tried to politely explain to her that our dogs don’t particularly like other dogs, to which she replied “that’s not our problem, socialise your dogs then”.
I was furious that she said this! She has no idea of the reasons why my dogs are like that and in my opinion she was the one in the wrong by letting her dog go off approaching other people’s dogs, especially when they’re on leads. Our dogs were under control. Am I right to be annoyed by this? I am not normally an angry person but she honestly made me furious by saying this!
I am also not of the opinion that the dog should necessarily have been on a lead (like my DH told her it should have been) but I would at least expect her to keep it away from other dogs who are on leads.

OP’s posts: |
NiceTwin Sun 06-Sep-20 13:43:59

She was an arse, not you.

trevorandsimon Sun 06-Sep-20 13:45:11

Yeah, she's got a point. One reason I let my dogs go off lead is so they can socialise with and go up to other dogs.... most people do that I expect. Why dont you train yours to be happier with other dogs? Do you never let them off lead?

Bluntness100 Sun 06-Sep-20 13:54:05

If it’s a place where most dogs are off lead as she says then it’s normal for them to socialise together. If your dogs are not happy with other dogs going near them I think you should not deliberately take them some place where you know dogs are off lead and socialise.

Find some where where dogs aren’t off lead. But you can’t be deciding to take unsocialiased dogs to a place where dogs are off lead and socialise and demanding they don’t come near your dogs and are put on leads

vanillandhoney Sun 06-Sep-20 14:00:05

Nope, you did nothing wrong.

If dogs are off lead, that's fine, but owners have to be able to call them away. The general rule in the dog-owner community is that you put your dog back on it's lead if you see an on-lead dog approaching. If your dog is well-trained, this shouldn't be an issue, nor should it cause you any problems.

Isadora2007 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:01:04

You’re upset because deep down you know that your dogs aren’t socialised so that’s why you’re overly annoyed at her comments.

RiaRoth Sun 06-Sep-20 14:01:38

She has not got a point. She needs to train recall and learn basic dog etiquette. You were totally in the right. Pour a glass of wine and ignore the numpty

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RiaRoth Sun 06-Sep-20 14:03:19

Also hide this thread as there are some ridiculous comments on here already. All dogs should be able to walk without being harrassed by other dogs. All dogs on lead should not be approached by other dogs and there is no excuse for when they do.

vanillandhoney Sun 06-Sep-20 14:03:52

Isadora2007

You’re upset because deep down you know that your dogs aren’t socialised so that’s why you’re overly annoyed at her comments.

OP's dogs not being socialised isn't the issue. They were on their leads minding their own business.

This lady couldn't control her dog and instead decided to let it run over to other random dogs. If your dog has no recall, keep it on a lead! It's not complicated. There are far too many arrogant dog owners around these days and they give other owners a bad name.

Dogs should be able to be recalled away from other dogs or people. If you can't do that, use a lead.

BlueSlice Sun 06-Sep-20 14:04:41

You were both right and both wrong.

It sounds like she did recall her dog? It just wasn’t immediate. It obviously should have been quicker.

You were in a place where dogs are going to be off lead. You had no right to tell her that her dog needs to be on a lead.

Nikori Sun 06-Sep-20 14:06:04

It’s hard because there are few places where dogs can be let off the lead, so if this is a place where there are a lot of dogs off the lead, it may be better for you to avoid it and walk your dogs elsewhere.

vanillandhoney Sun 06-Sep-20 14:06:31

You were in a place where dogs are going to be off lead. You had no right to tell her that her dog needs to be on a lead.

Nonsense. Dogs being off-lead is a privilege. If your dog won't come back, it doesn't get to go off the lead.

HolyMolyMeOhMy Sun 06-Sep-20 14:07:01

@trevorandsimon I do let my dogs off the lead but we normally go earlier in the morning when it’s quieter, and I would put them back on their leads if I saw a dog approaching on its lead. We went at a busier time today so felt it best to just keep them on their leads.
@Bluntness100 to be honest I wouldn’t have agreed with her that the majority of dogs were off the lead, there was a large majority on the lead and the ones that were off either just walked right past my dogs paying them no interest or the owners called them back as we approached them. It is a very large park that we went to and can get busy with other dogs, children and families, there’s plenty of space for off lead and on lead walking I feel.

OP’s posts: |
daisychain1620 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:07:43

She's a dick. You were responsible and kept your dogs on leads, hers was not and sounded like it probably shouldn't be off lead as it had little recall. I would only agree with her if you were in a dog park were dogs will be off lead running about but other than that then I would agree with you

devildeepbluesea Sun 06-Sep-20 14:08:25

If your dog's don't like other dogs you shouldn't walk them where other dogs are off lead. So, the architect of the whole situation was you.

Why don't you try to socialise them? Genuine question, it would make your life easier.

Bluntness100 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:08:29

She does have a point. Both of them were in the wrong.

She should have been able to call her dog back. The op should not be taking her dogs to places she knows dogs are off lead and socialising if her dogs are not.

She seems to think it’s ok for her or her husband to dictate what others do with their dogs. Keep them on lead, but when given the same back take offence.

Bottom line is if your dogs are not socialised and can’t cope with other dogs approaching don’t take them to places you know dogs are off lead.

Somethingkindaoooo Sun 06-Sep-20 14:08:51

Bluntness100

If it’s a place where most dogs are off lead as she says then it’s normal for them to socialise together. If your dogs are not happy with other dogs going near them I think you should not deliberately take them some place where you know dogs are off lead and socialise.

Find some where where dogs aren’t off lead. But you can’t be deciding to take unsocialiased dogs to a place where dogs are off lead and socialise and demanding they don’t come near your dogs and are put on leads

Yes^^^

GreyishDays Sun 06-Sep-20 14:09:32

Dogs shouldn’t approach dogs that are on a lead.
They also must by law be ‘under control’ in any public place, so either on a lead or with excellent recall.

ABitOdd Sun 06-Sep-20 14:10:12

You were in the right. It’s bad manners for an off lead dog Especially without impeccable recall to Run up others. You’re a responsible owner op. It’s a shame that everyone isn’t like you.

HolyMolyMeOhMy Sun 06-Sep-20 14:10:49

@BlueSlice yes she did recall her dog but it took her I would say about 5 or 6 attempts before it actually listened to her, in which time my dogs were getting increasingly anxious.
I also did state that I am not of the opinion her dog should be on a lead and I would not have said that to her, my DH said that and I told him I didn’t agree with that, but that they should maybe not go letting their dogs approach dogs that are on leads.
I just think that nobody knows why anybody else’s dog is on a lead? It’s obviously not the case with mine, perhaps they are poorly socialised but then there could be any number of reasons why they don’t like to be approached and I would never assume it was ok for my dog to approach an on lead dog, you never know how they will react.

OP’s posts: |
RiaRoth Sun 06-Sep-20 14:12:15

devildeepbluesea

If your dog's don't like other dogs you shouldn't walk them where other dogs are off lead. So, the architect of the whole situation was you.

Why don't you try to socialise them? Genuine question, it would make your life easier.

This just shows how little you know about dogs, dogs behaviour and socialisation - ridiculous comment

thecapitalsunited Sun 06-Sep-20 14:12:27

Next time just holler out that your dogs are contagious and see how quick they are to get their dogs back. I never let my dog approach a dog on lead unless I’ve spoken to the owner first - I’m pretty sure that’s the accepted dog etiquette. If you were supposed to avoid off lead places with your reactive dogs then they would be massively unfair to dogs which are reactive because they’ve been attacked.

daisychain1620 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:12:54

I also think she sounds like she would be the type of person to come running after her dog (as it doesn't return when called!) telling people 'oh it won't hurt you, he just wants to play haha' as it's jumping up in unsuspecting walkers getting their clothes dirty or humping their legs grrrrr

Isadora2007 Sun 06-Sep-20 14:13:41

Your husband started it by saying her dogs should be on lead.

RiaRoth Sun 06-Sep-20 14:14:05

It may be on lead as a deaf dog, an old dog, a dog with stiches, a blind dog, over friedly dog who always approaches other dogs and the responsible owner is trainging the dog - loads of reasons for being on lead.

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