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Newly single dog parent(16 Posts)
Hi everyone I have been following the dog threads for a while but not posted and have seen some great advice given.
I’m hoping some of you may be able to help me.
I split up with my husband during lockdown which has been fairly stressful but it’s my furry best friend that is currently causing me most of my stress.
I’ve had him since a puppy and he’s now 11 years old, we are so close and he’s been such a saviour through the breakup, keeping me active, getting me out of the house and regularly making me smile.
He used to go to day care but a couple of years ago he was struggling and then developed arthritis. My husband used to get home about 3pm and a dog walker would take him out about 11 for an hour or two to ensure he wasn’t at home for too long.
Now I’m on my own I’m really stressed out, I leave for work at 6am and get home between 5-6.30pm. He still has his dog walker and I’ve got a camera to keep an eye on him. To be fair he spends most of the day asleep or looking out the window at passers by.
I just can’t help feeling anxious about the whole situation and obviously wouldn’t dream of rehoming him, he’s old and I love him. With the worry about him and my imminent divorce I’m struggling to focus at work and the last thing I need is to loose my job as well on top of everything else.
I’m starting to dread going back to work tomorrow even though I love my job due to leaving him. Does anyone have any advice? x
Doggy day care would stop you worrying about him wouldn’t it ?
If he seems ok, he probably is. Ours sleep most of the day too.
Do you work close enough to pop home at lunchtime?
Could you split the dog walker into two shorter visits?
Depending on finances can you afford a dog walker twice a day for shorter walks to break the day up?
Are you simply worried he’s left for too long? Could a friend or neighbour offer some quiet daycare?
If he’s sleeping and chilled then I wouldn’t guilt yourself. (and I’m always the one banging on about not leaving dogs too long!) he’s an older chap who just wants to chill at home by the sound of it.
Maybe a different dog care where he just loafs at someone's house? Coupled with a dog walker?
Friends are members of borrow my doggie. Could that be a possible solution?
Full disclosure: I don't have a dog & im not a member myself!
I've older dogs and they'd hate normal daycare as just want to sleep, a dog boarder that just has a few dogs would be a better choice. Dog walker could do 2 shorter visits and arthritic dogs often benefit from a few shorter walks a day than one long walk.
My dogs will sleep most of day when I'm out and sometimes when I'm home and busy moving around a lot, they get extra tired from missing out on naps.
I'm sorry to hear about your divorce. It's a blow even if wanted/necessary because it's not what you picture for your life is it?!
Would your ExDH not still want to come & walk him or do you not want him in the house?
I wish I had a neighbour who wanted to lend me their dog for a bit of fussing/walking! It's just so hard to match up the dogs/people that need some company & those of us who would happily be company!
Think about friends/neighbours who might would get as much out of it as you/your dog would.
If you're in a GU Postcode PM me. It's a pretty big area, but you never know!
Other than that, try not to worry. You have the camera, you can see he's ok & you obviously spend a lot of time with him & spoil him rotten when you are home. He's elderly, a lovely comfy home to doss in all day & a walk with a friend (Walker) isn't really much of a chore! Dog 🐶
Maybe roughly the time when your DH used to get home could you arrange for a dog walker to do a visit.
Most offer a 30 min puppy visit and that might be ideal for your older dog to have a toilet break and a fuss before you get home. Given it's not at their peak time you might find one that would be happy to do that.
Thank you for all your kind replies. My husband leaving was a shock and I’m not sure I’ve really dealt with the emotions this brings, with the stress of lockdown and now my little furry friend it’s been pushed aside but I know I need to deal with it but at the moment I just want to keep my dog happy. He’s old and may only have a few years left and I want him be ok, he’s my priority.
He had to stop day care a few years ago due to his age. He didn’t enjoy all the other dogs bouncing around him and started to really withdraw into himself. The lady at daycare said he’d spend ages pacing around trying to find peace and quiet. It was at her house but he just couldn’t relax with the other dogs.
The lady I have to walk him is lovely so maybe I’ll see if she can do an extra visit. It’s so hard to find someone you trust to walk/look after your dog.
My husband doesn’t want anything to do with him, after five years it felt like they had a bond but he’s happy to just walk away.
I work a long way from home (an hour and half commute each way) and may start to look for another job but the timing isn’t great.
I’ll speak to my dog walker tomorrow and see if I can get her to pop in, in the afternoon. I just haven’t been thinking straight x
Bless you for making him such a priority at this difficult time. He’s lucky to have you.
@wolfiefan thank you for your comment. He’s been there for me for 11 years and just because my life hasn’t panned out quite the way I hoped, I need to make sure his isn’t affected. It’s so hard to speak to anyone IRL, all I ever hear is he’s fine, he’s a dog obviously from none dog owners and they just don’t seem to understand the stress this is causing x
Honestly at 11yo I would leave him as he is, but maybe ask your dog walker to pop in a second time to let him out to the toilet or just give him some company. If he sleeps all day and doesn't seem distressed, I think changing his routine now would do more harm than good.
@Singledogparent I am the most fussy first time dog parent you will ever meet. And even I think he would find daycare exhausting and stressful! He doesn’t sound worried or anxious or uncomfortable being left. He might be glad of the peace and quiet.
Maybe get the walker to split into two shorter visits if you’re worried.
Thank you for your kind messages. I feel so much better having put it out there to people who understand what I’m going through.
My little dog really is helping take my mind off the rest of what’s going on in my life and is enjoying being allowed to sleep on the bed and I just want to make sure he’s not affected by all this mess x