Lost my lovely old girl

(25 Posts)
nannytothequeen Fri 07-Aug-20 09:35:36

My lovely old girl was pts today. She was deaf and blind and after she stopped eating I took her to the vet who said that she had a huge tumour in her belly. She was 17 and a black lab. I love her so much and I'll be so lonely without her. I feel as heartbroken as the day my mum died.

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nannytothequeen Fri 07-Aug-20 09:40:27

Here she is in her bed.

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nannytothequeen Fri 07-Aug-20 09:44:01

Nope. Image not attaching.

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Yokohamajojo Fri 07-Aug-20 10:02:52

Oh my heart goes out to you! I bet she had a lovely life with you though and you did the right thing for her x

nannytothequeen Fri 07-Aug-20 10:09:03

She did have a lovely life. And was the most beautiful kind girl. My relationship with her was longer than my marriage. I know I have done the right thing but it's not making me feel better.

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Saucery Fri 07-Aug-20 10:31:37

Keep going, one day the good memories will be more frequent than the ones you are having now, I promise. I found that hard to believe at the time, but it’s true.
She sounds lovely and 17 years of companionship with her a real gift. flowers

nannytothequeen Mon 10-Aug-20 11:01:27

I continue to miss her. It hurts so much.

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fragrantphoenixinwaiting Mon 10-Aug-20 23:12:13

My old girl went in May. Also a black lab. It really is the same as losing a human member of your family. I understand. You did the only thing you could, not that that makes it any easier. She is at peace now, you’re suffering but she is not, I find some comfort in remembering that.
My heart goes out to you, it’s so so hard.
Xxx

fragrantphoenixinwaiting Mon 10-Aug-20 23:15:11

I also find comfort in the fact that the only way to have avoided what I’m going through now is to not have had her in my life. I wouldn’t have forgone those 13 years for anything. It will get easier.

Railingsohno Mon 10-Aug-20 23:16:01

flowers would it help to tell us a bit about her?

Socialdistancing Mon 10-Aug-20 23:22:03

Ah I’m so sorry. She sounds lovely and I’m glad she had a great life with you.
We lost our old boy in March and it was awful. I still cry about it now but also talk about him all the time and remember him with happiness.

Ellmau Mon 10-Aug-20 23:55:55

So sorry. She sounds lovely.

nannytothequeen Tue 11-Aug-20 09:42:05

She was an small Labrador with a short nose and the widest tail you've ever seen. Like a black otter! Her kennel name was Gemfire of Gamefield, but I called her Ruby. Now a really popular dog's name, but not so much at that time. When she was young she was so fast and such a great hunter and swimmer. She was never really an 'on the couch' dog. She liked her own bed and her kennel in the garden. I think that her really thick coat and her undercoat made her too hot. She spent most of her life in an alpine area and was very used to snow and leaping into partly frozen ponds for a swim. She did not like the heat one bit. And she didn't really like sand on her paws - never a beach fan.
She was the cutest puppy - a roly poly of a pup. She came from a breeder on the South Island (I live in NZ) and at the time I was in the North Island. I flew over to choose her and then a few weeks later she arrived on a flight. The breeders farm was in this lovely spot in green hills and overlooking the sea. And as it happensI now work at a school that is about a 10 minute drive from that farm. When I chose her i had no idea that a move South was even in my future.
She was incredibly gentle and I have heard her bark maybe five or six times. I once saw her submit to a spider - she took one look at it and rolled on her back - wouldn't walk round it. For years she came to work with me - I am a teacher - and she became the school dog in a tiny tiny country school, free ranging around the classrooms all day. All of the kids loved her and I had to ban them from feeding her because she began to look like an outhouse. She'd just lie on the classroom floor, being stroked and petted - there was not a kid in that school who was nervous of dogs because of her. She liked picking up their socks and moving their shoes.
When my ex left i insisted that she was staying with me and she was a huge comfort to me with all of her love. As long as she was with me I felt OK. Last summer she came camping with me - I gave her her last ever bath in an old cattle trough on the edge of the farm paddock and she slept under my camp bed every night.
She went deaf about 5 years ago and whilst her sight has been getting worse over the last couple of years, in the past 6 months she became completely blind. She would still steal the cat food though, up until the day she died, inching slowly across the kitchen floor on her tummy, alert to the vibrations of my footsteps coming to catch her.
She started to get odd lumps about 3 years ago and she had an operation to remove an especially smelly lump in her ear four months ago. She did really well and seemed to be improving. Then slowly she started to look quite wretched - i could feel all of the lumps and bumps on her spine and it was like her skin was hanging off her bones, although she still looked well fed. But she would often pick at her food and vomited quite often. It turned out that one of her lumps had started to grow inside and there was a huge mass inside her. The well fed appearance was actually a big old tumour.
So that was it for my 17 year old baby, the keeper of my secrets and the love of my life. All I can hope is that she is with my Mum and Dad, wherever they are and that one day i might just see her again. The vet said that when she died she might gasp or gulp, but she didn't. She just slipped away quietly and smoothly with her head in my lap.

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Railingsohno Tue 11-Aug-20 10:10:11

Oh my goodness - she sounds just the most lovely special dog. 💗 Thank you for sharing that.

She has had the most wonderful, full and loving and loved life. You gave her that. Sending you a big hug flowers

Railingsohno Tue 11-Aug-20 10:12:24

PS and she was just gorgeous too. Black labs are my favourite. 💗

RainbowDash101 Tue 11-Aug-20 10:19:56

So sorry for your loss. What a wonderful companion. So sad for you. Are the farm still breeding?

fragrantphoenixinwaiting Tue 11-Aug-20 10:59:56

Thank you for your last post. What a beautiful uplifting tribute to her. She clearly had a wonderful life and knew how much she was loved. One of my favourite memories is of Lottie swimming, using her tail as a rudder. I bet Ruby loved the cold water on her, didn’t she ?

Kayjay2018 Tue 11-Aug-20 11:06:51

What a beautiful dog, I'm so very sorry for your loss, they are one of the family. Ruby sounds like a very lucky dog who had an amazing life and was so very very loved right till the end

nannytothequeen Tue 11-Aug-20 12:23:14

From what I understand the breeder moved away some time ago,

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doodleygirl Tue 11-Aug-20 12:42:43

You describe your life with Ruby so beautifully, the love you had for each other jumps out of the page.

I hope that time makes it easier for you and perhaps one day in the future you can find another pal to walk alongside you flowers

nannytothequeen Tue 11-Aug-20 13:50:38

Ruby was always very good... people used to say that she was so well trained. 'Oh she's so calm and well mannered'. Actually Ruby had very little training but she had an inate ability to slide under the radar. Whilst people were calling her good she'd slink off and steal a sausage from a toddlers hand (ever so gently of course) or on one occasion eat half a bag of highly calorific lamb feed powder and swell up like a little black pig. She could open sliding doors and gates to go for a wander and she got me into trouble with the dog warden more than once. My best friend has a huge male lab and she'd bully him off his sofa lounging all over it whilst he was relegated to the floor looking up at her pitifully. Whenever I brought out a suitcase she'd do a dying swan act with her ending up at the vets for me to find out there was nothing wrong. I stopped falling for that one in the end. I love her so much.

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nannytothequeen Tue 11-Aug-20 13:53:53

If I ever left her with my friend she'd punish me by oooing on my friends rug and generally being an inconsiderate house guest.

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Kaykay066 Fri 14-Aug-20 10:56:38

So so sorry for your loss we lost our golden retriever in may
It’s so so hard having a weepy morning thinking about him

RuudGullitOnAShed Fri 14-Aug-20 11:01:41

What a beautiful girl - and what a wonderful life she had.

stophuggingme Fri 14-Aug-20 11:13:24

She was a beautiful dog.
I am so sorry for your loss.flowers

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