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How soon is too soon for a new dog?

(39 Posts)
Frenchfancy Wed 29-Jul-20 17:15:40

Our ddog was pts on Monday. She was very old and it was a long time coming. The time was right.

The house feels very empty without her. We have been talking for a few months about getting a new dog and discussed breeds etc so we know what we are looking for. But is it too soon? I appreciate the empty house feeling is part of grief. We are looking at a rescue and there is a suitable candidate at the nearby shelter. I know if we go to look we will probably come home with him.

OP’s posts: |
iamtheoneandonlyyy Wed 29-Jul-20 17:17:52

My family never waited. They said if you have the love to give it should be given
I'm sorry about your dog thanks

tabulahrasa Wed 29-Jul-20 17:20:39

I wait till I miss having a dog more than I miss that dog...

It’s a bit how long is a piece of string though...

AnotherDFSsale Wed 29-Jul-20 17:21:29

Not too soon at all. We had our dog of 9 years pts back in July 2012 and by Aug we had a new dog.
The main reason was my dd, she was 13 at the time and she was heartbroken- having a puppy for her to train and walk and love really, really helped.
The void wasn't filled immediately as the puppy, although the same breed, was a totally different character to our other dog.

However, 8 years on he is again part ot the family and I never regret getting him. It's absolutely ok to give all that love and time that you gave your other dog to another lovely dog 💛

Baybetterdays Wed 29-Jul-20 17:24:26

So sorry to hear about your loss. I’ve just booked mine in, it’s the hardest time.

In my view it is as soon as your next one finds you OP, and it’s nobody else’s business if that’s the next day or the next year. All the best.

lovemyfurrywuff Wed 29-Jul-20 17:28:49

I managed six days the last time. Always had rescue greyhounds so it was nice to know I could give another a home.

Frenchfancy Wed 29-Jul-20 18:07:45

Thanks for you thoughts. She was such a good dog. We got her when I was pregnant with DD3 (I've no idea why we thought that was a good idea!) So she has been a big part of their childhood. Dd3 is now 14.

We are not looking for the same breed, she was fabulous but setters shed like crazy and we know we don't want that again. Dog that I've seen (on Facebook as I follow the shelter) is a pointer cross.

OP’s posts: |
Cherrypies Wed 29-Jul-20 18:11:43

I lost my much loved setter 30 November 2014, by early December, I had my next rescue dog, also now much loved.
Never tried to replace the setter, it's not possible.

I just needed to help another homeless precious soul.
Go with what is right for you, really does not matter what others think about it.

HearingMyOwnVoice Wed 29-Jul-20 18:12:06

tabulahrasa

I wait till I miss having a dog more than I miss that dog...

It’s a bit how long is a piece of string though...


This

Cherrypies Wed 29-Jul-20 18:15:23

Frenchfancy

Thanks for you thoughts. She was such a good dog. We got her when I was pregnant with DD3 (I've no idea why we thought that was a good idea!) So she has been a big part of their childhood. Dd3 is now 14.

We are not looking for the same breed, she was fabulous but setters shed like crazy and we know we don't want that again. Dog that I've seen (on Facebook as I follow the shelter) is a pointer cross.

Aw, I see yours was a setter too, brilliant dogs. Mine was a Irish red and white.
What type was yours?

LaurieFairyCake Wed 29-Jul-20 18:17:52

I waited 2 years and really shouldn't have done.

Having a new animal to love is a really good way of coping with the bereavement.

Skyliner001 Wed 29-Jul-20 18:17:55

Frenchfancy

Thanks for you thoughts. She was such a good dog. We got her when I was pregnant with DD3 (I've no idea why we thought that was a good idea!) So she has been a big part of their childhood. Dd3 is now 14.

We are not looking for the same breed, she was fabulous but setters shed like crazy and we know we don't want that again. Dog that I've seen (on Facebook as I follow the shelter) is a pointer cross.


If you have the love to give then give the love 😊 Sorry to hear about your dog 😢

Steamfan Wed 29-Jul-20 18:20:17

Four weeks - it was so sad without her, she was a greyhound - and there are always lots of them discarded and wanting homes. So we went to the rescue to have a look, and she came home with us.

Bananaman123 Wed 29-Jul-20 18:21:10

So sorry for your loss op. My boy passed 1 Dec last year, by the Thursday we went to the shelter but ended up too emotional do deal with. We kept checking online and the following week brought a dog home, unfortunately it didnt work out and in all honesty it was too early, we were still so devastated.

We said we would wait a few months and not rush it but we both kept checking online as hard not to when so many dogs need a home. By end of Jan we brought a rescue girl home and my god we still miss our boy so much but she has really brought a lot of happiness to our lives. It just felt right with her and as it was sspca we had 3 visits before getting her to make sure the fit was right, poor baby had never lived in a house.

Frenchfancy Wed 29-Jul-20 18:21:54

She was a Gordon Setter.

OP’s posts: |
JimandWilson Wed 29-Jul-20 18:22:47

We bought a puppy home last year knowing that our dog will be pts soon ish. She has a slow growing tumour and it affects her vision and stability but she dodders around. The puppy gave her a new little lease of life and she has very much enjoyed her role as teacher. I see it as her parting gift to us as we care for her til her last moment. Soppy I know but dogs are a huge part of our family.

A new dog will never replace a former dog but will be a whole new experience in a really good way. If you (like us) rely on the dog to get you out walking to exercise in all weathers - you won't otherwise find yourself in a field at 6am facing sidewards wind !!

compulsivesnacker Wed 29-Jul-20 18:31:31

We lost one of our labs five weeks ago with osteosarcoma. He was almost 13 and my dd (16) took it very badly and is still struggling now (she has OCD and anxiety and struggles with intrusive thoughts anyway). Our remaining lab is 14 and frankly could go at any time. We have spoken to a breeder and expect a puppy around November (the only dogs in shelters here are enormous and have existing behavioural issues which make them unsuitable for homes with children or other dogs - we did look!) She needed something to look forward to, but is absolutely struggling with the idea of ‘replacing’ our adored boy. New dog will be girl, different breed deliberately.
We don’t know whether current lab will make it to November. My guess is not, but we didn’t expect her to be the one left, so who knows! Whatever happens we will deal.
I’m so sorry you lost your girl. She looks beautiful.

anon444877 Wed 29-Jul-20 18:36:33

There’s no right answer - i would’ve had a new dog in days if we’d not had complicating factors with small dc with SN, you can’t replace the dog you’ve lost, they are all different but the grief for everyone is so overwhelming sometimes when you miss a vital piece of the family that it’s distraction.

I love setters, what a beautiful Gordon setter she was. I lost my retriever end Jan and I even wish I still had to hoover up all the fur. Best of luck with whatever you decide.

sillysmiles Wed 29-Jul-20 18:41:56

I think when your old dog was old and you knew it was coming, you've had time to mentally prepare before she died. I think that probably makes the difference in when you are ready to get another dog.

Skyliner001 Wed 29-Jul-20 19:31:29

Frenchfancy

She was a Gordon Setter.


Wee angel

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman Wed 29-Jul-20 19:40:20

We are wimps and dodge the issue by having at least two dogs at any given moment.

I hope you find a new dog at the right moment.

moosemama Wed 29-Jul-20 19:58:20

I am so sorry for your loss. She was a beautiful girl. I’ve always admired Gordon Setters.

We lost our boy on 13th June. He had been ill for a long time and we knew it was coming, but it was still a shock. He was only 7.

I think when/if to welcome a new dog into your family is a very personal thing. There’s no right or wrong answer.

I usually tend to go for sooner, rather than later, as the distraction helps. They never replace to dog you lost and you don’t grieve any less for them, but you are too busy to be constantly in the depths of grief. My husband is the opposite and always very anti getting a new pup, but a complete sucker once they arrive.

This time we have chosen to wait. We have an almost 15 year old dog still with us and we feel he’s more than earned the chance to be the centre of everyone’s attention and have a peaceful old age. Took him for his vet check last week and the vet said he wouldn’t be surprised if he makes 17/18 as he’s in such good condition. That gave me a bit of a wobble as, as gorgeous as he is and I honestly adore the bones of him, he sleeps most of the day and can only manage short walks. I miss active training and long walks and have already had 18 months without while I was nursing our poorly boy. The thought of waiting another 3 years for a pup I can do all that with make me very sad. So I suspect, there is an outside chance, if the right rescue pup came up, that I would cave.

Then again, I don’t think I would want a pup right at the moment either. Having had to hand over my poor anxious boy to the vets for treatment without being allowed in with him multiple times over the last few months. It’s made me think that I would rather wait until things get a bit more back to normal. I would prefer to know I can fully socialise a new pup, acclimatise them to vet trips in a positive way and make sure that we can attend regular training classes, without worrying that a spike in the virus could throw it all into chaos.

Cherrypies Wed 29-Jul-20 20:04:28

Frenchfancy

She was a Gordon Setter.

Aw, gorgeous, sadly unusual breed now, not many breeders.
They leave a big hole in your heartflowers

RuudGullitOnAShed Wed 29-Jul-20 20:18:15

What a beautiful dog

We've always had more than one dog - in terms of getting a new dog we've waited between a week and 6 months.
I don't think that there is a correct time scale.

My lovely auntie describes it as having a dog shaped hole in your life that needs filling. It doesn't diminish the loss but it does help you move on.

HearingMyOwnVoice Wed 29-Jul-20 20:41:58

Frenchfancy

She was a Gordon Setter.


She was beautiful. My dream breed 💓

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