Can't adopt!

[lemonycherry]

We've been looking for a new four legged family member for a while now (about 9 months) we already have a dog and a cat and a 1 year old. Our reason for a dog is twofold, our current dog a small breed and our DS is a bit too boisterous for her at the moment, we have a good safe place for her to retreat too but feel like a bigger breed would be great for DS especially as he develops more. Secondly our current dog has lots of separation issues which has not been aided by lockdown however when we have had family members dogs to stay in the past she has settled instantly if we leave which can only be a positive for her!
We've looked everywhere for an adult rescue but to no avail. Most deny us on the fact we have a child under 10, some because 2 days a week they would be taken to doggy day care for the day (once things return to normal).
I don't know what more I can do other than get a pup which realistically will not happen until the new year as puppies are like gold dust and even previous breeds that went for £400 odd are up to £2000 which isn't feasible at the moment.
Is it possible to rehome a dog with a child. Even puppies up for rehome we are denied with due to DS?
Has anyone got any success stories to keep my spirits up?

[ErrolTheDragon]

To be honest, I think it sounds like a really bad idea to get a larger rescue dog and certainly not a puppy until your child is old enough to be gentle with your little dog.

[Branleuse]

yes Its possible still. I got my girl a year ago after nothing available suitable for kids and cats households, but eventually i got a little spanish rescue. Shes a bit older and so calmer and good with everyone

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

A boisterous dc does not need a ddog.
And no ddog needs a boisterous dc...

[lemonycherry]

Boisterous wasn't the right word. He likes to stand up whilst being supported so he leans on the closest thing which is normally my little dog. He also likes to 'throw' her ball which constitutes throwing it on her direction rather than away from her.
I wouldn't say it meant we shouldn't have a larger dog

[Medievalist]

A boisterous dc does not need a ddog.
And no ddog needs a boisterous dc...

Couldn't have put it better.

[lemonycherry]

And we were always getting another dog just changed from the same breed to a larger breed due to DC. We moved house specifically so we could have better garden space and walks so it's not a lighthearted decision

[Medievalist]

He likes to stand up whilst being supported so he leans on the closest thing which is normally my little dog.

Is ds just learning to walk?

[lemonycherry]

@Medievalist yes he's only just turned one. We are hoping he will grow out of it and are stopping him as soon as we spot his intentions and redirect him to a solid non animal object which is a challenge that means you need eyes in the back of your head itself.
He's so gentle with her in terms of stroking her and giving her a treat etc but likes to try and pull himself up and doesn't understand throwing balls away from her rather than just at her (she will bring her ball to him he doesn't bother her with it if it's put away!)

[AmelieTaylor]

Sadly, I imagine the charities/rescues are soon going to be inundated with dogs. However, you need to choose carefully as many will have been pups and won't have been socialised/trained. I'd look for an older dog who is maybe being rehome due to an older person no longer being able to care for them.

Try ALL the rescues in your area, breed specific as well as the well known ones. I know some have dogs in foster care until they feel it's safe enough to reopen/do home visits.

Try your vets, other nearby vets. They often know of pets needing a new home if a good one can be found.

Somewhere there's a dog that would fit in to your family🌷

[Medievalist]

Honestly, I think that's just too young to have another dog. If you get a puppy he's bound to get nipped and puppy teeth are very painful. Much as it pains me to say it, I'd also be wary about getting a rescue dog with such a young child as they so often have issues. We got two of ours when they were about 6 months and they both have deep seated anxiety. I'd never trust them around small children.

[fivedogstofeed]

By your own admission your DC is too boisterous for a dog. The size of the dog isn't the issue here - a large breed could be equally disturbed by a child.
A puppy would be a complete disaster.

Also, getting another dog will do nothing to help your current dog's separation anxiety, that's just not the way it works.

[ShesMadeATwatOfMePam]

I don't think you're thinking about what you can offer a new dog. I think a 1 year old is too young to introduce a rescue dog which may have issues. Too young for a nippy bitey puppy. I can't think of many dogs who would appreciate being used as a walking aid.

[JamesArthursEyelashes]

So you were looking for a second dog since your son was 3 months old?
It doesn’t sound like the best idea at the moment. Work on improving the issues your existing dog has rather than getting another one.

[Soontobe60]

I agree with others. I don't think you should get another dog yet. You've got too many hurdles; a toddler, another dog with issues, a cat and the need for doggy day care. We've always had rescue dogs, apart from when our DD was a small child, when we had cats. None of them have been easy, all have been nervous and a bit nippy.
I'd save the money you would have spent on pet insurance and fees for a new dog for a year or so then get a pup from a reputable breeder.

[Branleuse]

Seeing that your dc is only 1 and learning to walk, id maybe wait longer. It will still happen but not ideal time

[Lougle]

It sounds like an accident waiting to happen, tbh. You're thinking that if you change the dog, your DS's behaviour will be ok. But no dog wants to be used as a stability prop. Your DS and your dog need to be kept separate so he can't hurt it.

[Hoppinggreen]

I do home visits for a rescue and I’m afraid I would not recommend you based on what you have written here.
Any rescue that will let a family with a “boisterous”. 1 year old and a nervy resident dog have a large rescue dog is probably best avoided

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

When our ds came along we already had 2 big ddogs. Far too powerful even in terms of walking past and potentially knocking him over - never left alone obviously but he was 3 before he felt confident even being around them tbh... 2 smaller ddogs he had /has an amazing relationship with. Can be done but life can be great for your dc with what you already have as ddoggy mate!

[Floralnomad]

Great idea , get a huge dog that your 1yr old leans on by accident that then potentially turns round and takes his face off . Wait until your son is old enough to know how to leave the dog alone .

[lemonycherry]

Also, getting another dog will do nothing to help your current dog's separation anxiety, that's just not the way it works.

Except this is the way it works. We fostered when DS first arrived and her separation anxiety improved leaps and bounds. It has also be suggested by our behaviourist as she shows no issues when left alone with another dog.

We've always had dogs and we've always rescued and had rescue dogs when we were younger and I've never ever had an issue. I've worked with all sorts of problem dogs and fostered as well.

Our dog at the moment is thought to have come from a house of lots of dogs. She was a puppy when she came to us ever since she came she's had separation issues which are caused by not having other dogs around her.

I'm not new to dog owning and by my own admission I said boisterous isn't the right word. We had been on the waiting list for a guide dog 'reject' and approved for them but they've said that we could be waiting up to 3 years and their checks were very full on.

But I forgot anyone on MN who wants a dog but works, had children, has other pets etc couldn't possibly have a dog

[lemonycherry]

@Floralnomad to confirm he does 'leave the dog alone' she goes over to him and brings her ball or curls up next to him which then results in him trying to lean on her when he's getting up. Something which she doesn't mind but I do. I'm not separating them as I don't think it's fair on either. She dotes on him and he loves her if she was running away or making lots of use of her safe child free space I created then I'd completely understand but she only ever goes in there to get a drink/food then comes straight back out to him!

[Floralnomad]

@lemonycherry , I did say accidentally , my point being if he leans on a big dog and it goes for him it will do him damage when he’s a bit older he will know not to lean on the dog at the moment at 1 yr old he’s not old enough to remember . I’m no way suggesting that you need to stop your child having a relationship with your current dog who is obviously very tolerant of him which is lovely . Don’t ruin that relationship by adding another dog into the mix .

[Sunnydayshereatlast]

We have 4 ddogs. Dpuppy still has SA...
Remember not all ddogs bond. My dm had 2 ddogs for over 10 years. Never had a decent relationship with each other...

[vanillandhoney]

Sorry OP but I think there's a good reason you're not able to adopt. You have a very young child, a dog and a cat, and you've just said that you refuse to separate the dog and the toddler.

What will you do when your DS is older, stronger and noisier? Still refuse to keep them apart? Why? It's not fair on the dog to be constantly leant on and subjected to an unpredictable toddler.

I think you should work on your DS's behaviour around the current dog and not add anymore animals until he's older and more predictable. You really risk upsetting the current dynamic and then the dog would end up being re-homed through no fault of it's own.

[lemonycherry]

@vanillandhoney why would I separate them when there are no issues? I doubt MN would be ok with me locking the child away or locking the dog away. The only 'issue' is the leaning which if you had read my updates properly I said I redirect as soon as I see it happening.
As I've also said and if you'd bothered to read dog has a safe space well away from DC which is open to her at all times if she wants space away she has her outlet and access 24/7.
If you'd bothered to read it clearly says that apart from the leaning and occasional ball throwing DS has learnt to be gentle etc.
Of course if either of them got too much for the other I would separate I'm not stupid