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Adopting Him... Is This A Ridiculous Idea?

(20 Posts)
MyBabyIsAFurBaby Thu 09-Jul-20 12:15:58

I would be grateful for your opinions on this slightly strange situation.

My DP and I got our puppy during lockdown (we were both furloughed but the day after we collected her I was asked back to work). Of course, puppies are hard work but I think we've done a good job and she has turned out to be lovely! She is a Belgian Shepherd cross.

Now for the issue. My DP's ex bought a puppy at the weekend (mother of his daughter). Apparently, she has always been terrified of dogs and has taught all of her children that dogs eat children. My DP's daughter has taken a lot of encouragement from my DP and myself to get to her like dogs (a lot of time spent with my DM's tiny chihuahua to build confidence!). SD was so excited that her Mum was also getting a puppy. She really loved ours and couldn't wait to have a dog at each home.

We saw SD yesterday and already, all the excitement has completely dilapidated. She says that there is nothing good about the puppy, he bites all the time and Mum is really struggling. Apparently the pup is being put in his cage every few minutes if he bites anyone, and is getting told off constantly. We explained to her that puppies bite, like ours did, but that he isn't trying to hurt her (or them), etc. She says she knows this from our puppy, but you can see that she is already getting her fear back. We asked if she has played with him, cuddled him, etc. and she says no, because he bites or because her Mum won't let her near him.

DP thinks it is possible that SD's Mum will give the dog up. So, after my tediously long explanation, do you think we would be daft to adopt him?

Our puppy is 4 months old and pretty big, as her breed is large. This other pup is male and a cockerpoo (looks adorable in pictures we have been sent on the first day they had him). Do you think it would be an expensive mistake to take him on as well? We are only considering it because SD was so set on him, chose him, etc.

Of course, they may persist and it won't be a problem anyway! Just curious as to opinions.

Thank you xx

OP’s posts: |
PollyPolson Thu 09-Jul-20 12:55:45

Don't do it - you have enough on your plate with a Belguim Shepherd. smile

It will only cause issues and no positives at all.

Maybe in a year or so time but not now

Sunnydayshereatlast Thu 09-Jul-20 13:03:39

We got 2 dpuppies a month apart!! Different breeds - one very high maintenance!! Now coming up 7 and never had any problems - both still bff's!! Now have 2 more dogs also!!.
I would make it clear no cash will be passing over her way for it though - an expensive mistake will stop her doing it again hopefully!

Sunnydayshereatlast Thu 09-Jul-20 13:42:51

Melt your heart??

BiteyShark Thu 09-Jul-20 13:55:52

Would I do it? Absolutely not.

At 4 months old your puppy hasn't even hit the floor running. Even if you have a chilled out puppy experience that can change when they hit adolescence when all the training you have done flies out the window. This period can last many months and be very draining. I spent months and months trying to get my dogs recall back when he hit 6 months old.

The expense of two dogs in terms of food, insurance, health care etc.

Time. Working with one dog on any issues you might have is taxing enough but for two could you put the time into each individually if you needed to separate them for walking or training. Given their relative ages this means you will have two adolescent dogs at the same time with their own needs and 'issues'.

pigsDOfly Thu 09-Jul-20 14:18:41

It's a lovely idea but given the breeds of both dogs I wouldn't do it.

The Belgian Shepherd will need a lot of exercise and training and is going to be a big dog. This is going to take a lot of time and is going to be hard work all on its own.

Add a Cockerpoo, a puppy that can be pretty full on in terms of being a bit crazy and hyper at the best of times, and you've got a recipe for a lot of stress and headaches.

How on earth do you imagine you are going to find the time to train them both separately and hold down a job?

Your dog might be lovely and biddable at the moment, but things will change when she hits adolescence, and adolescent dogs can be a nightmare. And as BiteyShark points out, you'd have two adolescent dogs at the same time.

I think this is something you need to step back from and let DP's ex sort out.

Emelene Thu 09-Jul-20 14:23:42

DP's ex could consider giving the puppy back to the breeder. It's a sad situation, it doesn't sound like she was prepared for a puppy.

MyBabyIsAFurBaby Thu 09-Jul-20 14:25:23

Thank you all for your responses. I think this is what I needed to hear! I feel guilty because SD was so excited. DP had mentioned it to me (never to SD or anyone else), but I never thought it could be a possibility. Hearing how things are going, it suddenly felt like a very real possibility and I woke up in the middle of the night worrying about finances, etc.

@Sunnydayshereatlast My gosh your babies are so cute!

OP’s posts: |
fivedogstofeed Thu 09-Jul-20 15:37:14

Genuinely bad idea,

fivedogstofeed Thu 09-Jul-20 15:37:27

Genuinely bad idea,

fivedogstofeed Thu 09-Jul-20 15:42:21

Sorry didn't mean to post twice. Taking on a 3? Month old puppy when you have a 4 month old is a really bad idea for all concerned.
As pps have said, a Belgian shepherd will take up enough of your time.
Not only that, but you're thinking of taking on a puppy farm cockerpoo which probably comes with a set of issues already caused by a clueless owner.
Two pups of a very similar age is extremely tricky to manage. Littermate syndrome doesn't just apply to pups that are related, but to any pups of a similar age raised together.

Sunnydayshereatlast Thu 09-Jul-20 16:06:25

Seems I am alone in my positive experience of 2 dpuppies!!.
Our high maintenance husky had a built in playmate-seriously never a bad moment !! We also had an older dodg who did indeed pass on mostly good /positive habits and skills - and they learnt some ones she was too bloody stubborn to do - like 10 years later she still would not 'drop' any contraband items! Sadly pts in Feb and husky is now The Boss although not the older of the 2 dpuppies. We were lucky someone was home ft... Not sure how you are with work /1 dpuppy op..

TempestHayes Thu 09-Jul-20 16:24:24

The chance of the ex giving it back to the breeder is slim. There is no breeder. Puppy farm for sure. A breeder would have seen through her lockdown-induced whim.

I wouldn't do it. You've got your own dog's adolescence to contend with and your dog deserves your attention and the care you've shown so far. You'd undo all that if your focus was divided to an unsocialised, often-caged dog that's had no reward-based training.

vanillandhoney Thu 09-Jul-20 17:09:15

Not a good idea at all.

Your workload will more than double - the puppies will need to be walked separately, trained separately and fed separately. You'll need to double all your bills - more food, more toys, bowls, beds, another crate - two lots of insurance, flea and worm meds, injections, neutering costs - it won't be cheap.

Plus your puppy is only four months old. You've got the teenage years to come with a big breed - do you really want to deal with two teenage delinquents who ignore you, refuse to come back, forget their commands and develop massive attitude overnight?

If DSD's mum can't cope, she needs to rehome the puppy. Sadly, a lot of people have gotten puppies over lockdown without thinking about the practicalities - there'll be thousands of other dogs and families in the same position sad

frostedviolets Thu 09-Jul-20 20:26:45

I think, if you are confident of your training ability and able to do a lot of work separately I would adopt it.

The only thing I’d be a bit concerned about is the breed, and I’m not talking about the shepherd.

Anecdotal of course, but I haven’t met many nice cockerpoos.
At best I find them excessively hyperactive with no ‘off switch’/ability to relax.
A significant proportion of ones I’ve met have been dog or child aggressive, or both!
I heard very many tales of severe resource guarding too.
Of the cocker breed, one half of the ‘cockerpoo’ I have met one or two sweet ‘show line’ ones but the vast majority have been quite vile.
The workers I’ve met have been nice but it tends be show lines that are usually in cockerpoos as far as I know.

I’m not one that believes horrid dogs are mostly made personally.
I think personally is largely genetic.
I would be extremely cautious about taking on a cockerpoo. Extremely.

MyBabyIsAFurBaby Fri 10-Jul-20 09:55:25

I appreciate everyone's opinions, it is really helpful.

I do think that we would manage with training, but obviously it wouldn't be ideal. Our Shepherd wasn't easy so, in the theoretical event that we did adopt the second puppy, we wouldn't be unprepared.

However, @frostedviolets I agree that I would not have chosen to have a Cockerpoo. Whilst they seem sweet enough out in the park, having done a lot of reading up on various breeds, I gather that they are quite high maintenance.

I would not be willing to pay for him; if she chose to get a dog without really thinking about it, then that is an expense to be burdened by her. I strongly suspect she wouldn't be willing to just give him away, so I hope it won't come to us having to turn him away anyway!

OP’s posts: |
PollyPolson Fri 10-Jul-20 10:05:32

Our Shepherd wasn't easy - at 4 months this is just the beginning tbh - there are lots of things you have yet to encounter with your puppy that will be time consuming and maybe even stressful ahead of you. Enjoy the dog you have.

vanillandhoney Fri 10-Jul-20 10:10:35

I do think that we would manage with training, but obviously it wouldn't be ideal. Our Shepherd wasn't easy so, in the theoretical event that we did adopt the second puppy, we wouldn't be unprepared.

Oh OP, you're nowhere near out of the woods yet. Your puppy is four months old. You haven't even hit the teenage years yet. Your dogs recall will vanish. Her obedience will go out of the window. She'll start mouthing, barking, jumping up and running off in the park. Teenage dogs are bloody hard - worse than puppies imo.

Please don't add even more stress into your life. This dog is not your responsibility. You already have a big breed puppy who is going to need a lot of your time and attention in the coming months and years. Shepherds are great dogs but they need a lot of time and attention and training - personally I think getting another puppy (who is potentially totally untrained) is madness and a recipe for disaster.

MyBabyIsAFurBaby Fri 10-Jul-20 10:33:22

I completely agree with you. I know that we have a lot more training and mischief to come!

I think the guilt would have consumed me if I had said no but hadn't got some more opinions. The fact that pretty much everyone has said it is a bad idea is a relief.

I will just suggest to DP that we let them get on with it.

OP’s posts: |
Branleuse Fri 10-Jul-20 10:57:33

dont do this. two puppies together is generally a bad idea as they can develop littermate syndrome even if not related, which can make them either aggressive to each other or other dogs

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