Tell me it will hurt less

(31 Posts)
Tvci5 Sun 05-Jul-20 17:12:21

We are sadly having to say goodbye to our wonderful dog tomorrow. He's my first dog and it's just awful. We've know for a few days it is time and I feel on the verge of an anxiety attack at the thought of having to come home without him. I know it's the kindest last thing we can do for him but I feel such guilt. How I will miss my friend

OP’s posts: |
BiteyShark Sun 05-Jul-20 17:23:55

Oh OP, so sorry thanks.

It will hurt because they are an important member of the household and will be deeply missed sad

Cloud1921 Sun 05-Jul-20 17:27:48

I'm really sorry, loosing a dog is awful, and something I think people who haven't experienced it don't really understand.

I won't lie this is going to hurt like hell, and depending on your bond it will hurt for a while.

Try to focus in the fact that you are doing the best thing for them, you've raised them with live and kindness and your last action for them is done with the same.

The pain will heal, and while you'll miss the life will start to seem normal again. You might find in a few months your heart is open to giving a new dog a wonderful home, and that can help with the heeling too.

Mrsfussypants1 Sun 05-Jul-20 17:35:49

I'm sending lots of love your way, ive wrote this post several times and I couldn't find any words that were right. For me, I showered mine with love and pretended the next day wasn't happening, In my head I didn't want her to pick up on my sadness, I'm sure she did though. I cried for a long time after, even reading your post. I'm so sorry x

Tvci5 Sun 05-Jul-20 18:03:34

Thank you all for your kind understanding. My husband and I can barely look at each other without getting upset. My sons are so sad, awful to see three grown men cry. I look forward to the day where we can talk about him and only smile

OP’s posts: |
Soubriquet Sun 05-Jul-20 18:09:04

It will always hurt. It will never stop hurting

But it will hurt less a little bit every day.

I had my first dog pts in 2013. Some days I think about him and laugh at what he was like, other days, I might have a little cry.

Take care of yourself and let yourself mourn for as long as you need to

MortyFide Sun 05-Jul-20 18:15:34

It's hurts like you wouldn't believe, but you will be okay. Not tomorrow, or the week after, maybe not for a while, but yes it does get easier to bear as time goes on.

Be strong, you'll get through it. You're doing a kind thing. flowers


squanderedcore Sun 05-Jul-20 18:29:23

Oh op, I'm so sorry.

This bit is the absolute worst. It will hurt less - eventually - when you get to the point that you will mainly remember the good memories. Or you learn to live with the pain better. I promise (although it seems impossible right now) that it will get to the point when you will be hit by a wave of pain but then a good memory will follow too.

In the meantime though, it will hurt like hell I'm afraid but try and hang on the fact that you are doing the right thing by not letting him linger in pain. Dogs live in the moment. It will be ok flowers. And allow the vet to help you. This is an important part of their job.

Incidentally, Monty Don said in one of his books that the only time he regretted anyrhing about his relationship with his dogs, was when he let one or two of them linger too long, not when he acted promptly on the realisation that it was their time to go.

I hope this doesn't upset you further, but speaking bluntly , I firmly believe there is a time to live and a time to die, and animals in their infinite wisdom know this too and accept it better than we do.

Your dog had a good life with you and is much loved , and he will know and feel that tomorrow.

Keepwarminthisroom Sun 05-Jul-20 18:31:58


Twospaniels Sun 05-Jul-20 18:33:44

💐💕 sending you hugs for tomorrow.

We’ve been through this three times and it breaks your heart. You will remember you friend with smiles very soon

CoffeeBeansGalore Sun 05-Jul-20 18:35:45


user1728393 Sun 05-Jul-20 18:41:11

So sorry op, it's so hard. We said goodbye to our ddog a year ago next week. The build up to having him pts was actually the worst. The immense guilt and sadness, it was awful and I didn't stop crying for weeks.

It gradually gets better and now I remember him when he was in his prime and what a happy life he had. Although your post has made me cry a bit! We spoiled him rotten the week before he went and I'm pleased he didn't have to suffer any more than necessary. Remember you're giving him the final act of kindness. thanks

hopeforlucky3 Sun 05-Jul-20 19:07:41

Hi @Tvci I'm sorry you and your family are going through this tough time. Sending strength and love for tomorrow thanks

Passmethefrazzles Sun 05-Jul-20 19:18:35

When we had our beloved Belle, 14yo lab PTS, I thought I’d die of grief. BUT, this is important, I now know that I would have felt so guilty if we hadn’t done this thing, the kindest thing of all. Our dear vet came to do the deed at home and said this: “it is our privilege to be able to do this for our beloved pets when we can’t do it for our human family”. This has stayed with us and been a comfort ever since.
Best wishes to you and your family, your pain describes how much you love your old boy xx

Dreamersandwishers Sun 05-Jul-20 19:25:38

So sorry for your pain OP. It’s a horrible time but hopefully, one day soon you can all focus on the good days and the beautiful memories you have made with your dog 💐

Foreverlexicon Sun 05-Jul-20 19:30:05

It’s so hard. I still miss my dog who I lost in 2017 very much. Take comfort from knowing that helping him through his pain is the ultimate and last act of kindness that you can do for him

Tvci5 Sun 05-Jul-20 19:41:55

What a lovely lot you are. I'm so sorry you've had your own grief to deal with. Thank you for your kind thoughts. I really didn't want to do it at the vets because it's definitely not his happy place but due to COVID home visits are not allowed, luckily they have a small garden so we'll be able to stay with him. Seems crazy to me that you can now go to a pub, ( our two locals are packed) but owners are handing their pets over and having to wait in the car park

OP’s posts: |
doodleygirl Sun 05-Jul-20 20:07:02

Im so sorry you are going through this pain. It is the greatest act of love making sure he goes at the right time.

Lineofconcepcion Sun 05-Jul-20 20:12:28

Sometimes the worse thing is making the decision. I woke at night and lie there worrying about whether to make the decision. In our case it was two horses who were companions, both elderly and arthritic. Once the decision was made and the deed was done it was fine. Know that you are doing the right thing.

Cauterize Sun 05-Jul-20 20:15:18

Lost my old girl a few weeks ago. The first few days I was absolutely inconsolable but it's getting easier. I did have a little cry earlier but it's not consuming me every day. As hard as it was, It was the right decision.

It's such a sad time but ultimately the greatest gift you can give is a peaceful and dignified end. I laid with my old girl as it was done, cuddled and kissed her head. I'm very glad I was able to do that for her.

Very sorry you're going through this OP thanks

Boomclaps Sun 05-Jul-20 20:18:50

I’m so sorry you’re going through this.
Our old lady passed about two years ago and it was one of the worst days of my life. But we knew it was time. And afterwards it felt sort of right. We were broken but knowing she was at peace was a comfort. There was massive relief x

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn Sun 05-Jul-20 20:35:16

So sorry you are going through this op. My ddog was pts age 17 over 4 years ago and I could not bear to be there when it happened. My lovely dh went with him. I regretted it every day since. I actually dreamed of him last night that I was there while he was being put to sleep, comforting him when he needed me most, and I woke up breaking my heart. It's really skaken me today I don't know why I dreamed this so long after. The reason I'm telling you is because if you can go with your lovely dog and be there for them at this time please do, it's the very last thing you can do for them. I know you probably are going to anyway! Sending you hugs flowers

PenelopePitstop49 Sun 05-Jul-20 20:58:47

Our darling lab was PTS at the vets - I couldn't face having it done at home. She was wobbly on her legs, so we carried her in in her own bed, she was in her bed and cuddled by us when the vet took over. It was so kind and gentle, and they showed us out of the side door so we didn't have to walk through reception.

Vets are so good at this - ours was lovely - and it's the right thing to do. Hurts like hell though - I cried for weeks after at the slightest thing.

All that comforted me was knowing our girl had lead her best life - she was cherished and loved every single day of her time with us from 14 weeks old to 13 years old and 1 day. You'll get through it, and you'll smile again with good memories flowers

Topseyt Sun 05-Jul-20 21:35:54

I’m so sorry.

I know how you are feeling. I am eight months on now from having had to say goodbye to my then 15 year old labrador. I remember it as if it were yesterday. It was Sunday 3rd November last year. A date etched on my brain.

It is a horrible time, but it is the final kindness really. I remember feeling wretched, but also strangely relieved that he wasn’t suffering and I had been able to make and keep to the right decision at the right time.

It does get easier. I wouldn’t apply the phrase “get over it”, but you do learn to live with it over time. I am still learning, but I can smile and joke a lot more about mine and some of the ridiculous escapades he got up to, and scrapes he got us all into (and as a Labrador, there were plenty of those I can tell you).

I had an individual cremation for him so that I could have his ashes back in a nice wooden urn which has a smiling photo of him as a youngster on it. I have it sitting on a coffee table in my living room. The same table that he sometimes cleared with his tail (and quite a smash).

I will be thinking of you. It is very hard, but you aren’t alone. It really is the hardest part of having a dog and lots of us have been there.

MsMarvellous Mon 06-Jul-20 08:12:20

I'm so sorry. It will be hard. I still remember the day I travelled home from university when it was time to say goodbye to our childhood hound. I was with him at the end and it brought some comfort to know he was hugged and with me right at the finish.

Much love to you all xx

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