Distressed puppy

(47 Posts)
Jessie40 Thu 25-Jun-20 22:18:04

We've had a puppy for the past 3 weeks and she's still not settled at night in her crate. We've tried leaving the tv on, pulling the curtains.
Prefer her to stay in the crate if possible as we have an older dog. But we don't want her to be distressed.

OP’s posts: |
StillMedusa Thu 25-Jun-20 23:01:03

If you are leaving her downstairs without you she WILL be distressed..she's a baby.
Have a look at (join) the FB 'Dog training Advice and Support' group..and read the puppy files..even if your previous dog was ok with it it doesn't mean this puppy will be. She needs to feel safe and needs to love her crate ..is she going in and staying in happily in the day? If so she probably needs you next to her at night for a while yet. If she is 'put 'in it and isn't totally happy..then she will be even more miserable.

If she's distressed..and it sounds like she is, then she needs you with ehr at night, whether that's her crate by your bed, or you downstairs with her, until she is much more settled and confident. Easier to toilet train if she's right next to you anyway smile

SaintWilfred Fri 26-Jun-20 18:26:33

Yep. What medusa said grin

vanillandhoney Fri 26-Jun-20 18:38:24

No wonder she's distressed if she's left on her own.

You need to take a few weeks to settle her in. Either have her crate in the bedroom with you and slowly move it to where you want it to be permanently, or sleep downstairs near the crate and slowly retreat (over the course of a couple of weeks) back to your bedroom once she settles and becomes more confident.

It's tiring and difficult but necessary! We gave in and let him sleep in our bed grin

MrsMcCarthysFamousScones Sat 27-Jun-20 14:33:32

Stop shutting her in a crate


SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius Sat 27-Jun-20 15:02:45

Have you tried using Adaptil - it is supposed to help dogs relax.

Also, does she use her crate during the day? Our dog loved hers - it was a safe and snuggly space for her, so we left the door open during the day, and she would take herself in there for a nap. In fact, she carried on sleeping in there when she grew up - we just stopped shutting the door - we only replaced it when we got a second dog and needed space for both of them to sleep - getting rid of the cage made space for two beds.

SaintWilfred Sat 27-Jun-20 16:14:03

That article linked is hilarious.

It seems to sum up to don't use a crate because you will abuse it and leave the dog in there for hours at a time. Instead confine the dog to a small area 3 feet by 3 feet... Which is about the size of a crate! grin


Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 16:17:49

Puppies are babies. They need comfort. That means you! Sleep where the crate is?
Also you can’t simply stick a dog in a crate. It needs to be trained. If you’re on FB look up dog training advice and support. They have great files on everything to do with puppies. Good luck.

ItsSpittingEverybodyIn Sat 27-Jun-20 16:19:06

Would she not be ok to cuddle up with the other dog?

Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 16:34:05

No. If she’s not settling, despite the other dog then it’s a person she wants. My first pup was the same. I slept by the crate for three weeks. At first I needed to touch her through the bars, then she just needed to see me, then just hear me and finally I was able to go back to bed!
My new pup? Couldn’t care less. Slept by my older dog and didn’t need me!

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 17:16:11

Tbf wolfie that’s not going to be remotely practical for most people.

Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 17:25:48

Well then @greentreesdream then they shouldn’t have a puppy. Tiny puppies can be very upset by being taken from their littermates, mother and the only home they’ve known. If you want to use a crate and can’t have it next to your bed or sleep on the sofa with the pup in the living room in the crate then you can’t offer a puppy what it needs.
Some don’t. Many do need that level of comfort.
Leaving a pup to get upset may well contribute to it getting separation anxiety later. And that’s a problem that’s really hard to solve.

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 17:29:35

Groan. Let’s NOT start the “only people who shit diamonds should be permitted to have a dog”, Wolfie. It’s not helpful and it isn’t even correct in this instance.

It’s like me saying you shouldn’t have a baby if you won’t contemplate co-sleeping (did you co-sleep with your children!?) - some people do it and consider it cruel not to but it isn’t a pre-requisite of parenting to do so.

It’s well-meaning advice I am sure but sleeping with a dog by a crate is also a bit bonkers!

Perch Sat 27-Jun-20 17:43:23

I also slept next to the crate for three weeks. Door open, he was very happy to be in there but when the door shut he went ballistic. At som point every night he would come for a cuddle and go back in again. Kept crate for about a year as his ‘den’ then ditched it. We have zero anxiety issues.
Dog not allowed upstairs or on any furniture, he has the the run of downstairs and sleeps in the kitchen. Crates are not suitable for all dogs.

Carolbaskinstiger Sat 27-Jun-20 17:46:37

Would she not sleep with your older dog (or mores the point would the older one not tolerate her)? To be honest after one night of trying to put my dog in a crate - I just had him on the bed (where he still sleeps to this day) so probably don’t have much good advice

Medievalist Sat 27-Jun-20 17:47:13


Your analogy is a bit off. Wolfie was suggesting a way of settling in a puppy for its first two or three weeks - not a long term arrangement hmm. But if you want to use that analogy, would you stick a new baby in a room downstairs overnight and expect it to be happy and settled?

Itsjustabitofbanter Sat 27-Jun-20 17:56:47

Without human intervention, puppies will naturally stay by their mothers side until around 10 months old. Because we’re so used to taking them away at 8 weeks, people seem to think that they no longer need the mother at this age. This drives me insane! Of course a puppy is likely to be upset being locked in a cage alone at this age. If it gets distressed you need to comfort it, which basically means being near it, whether you sleep downstairs or bring the puppy to your bedroom. One of my dogs was happy to sleep downstairs on his own straight away, my next one who I didn’t get until he was 13 weeks (4 weeks older than my last one) needed to sleep with me for a month

Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 18:04:39

I didn’t mean forever! But not being prepared to be near a puppy if it needs it means you shouldn’t have one. I’m fairly sure that’s not about “shitting diamonds” whatever the fuck that means.
Pets require certain levels of care. Our old cat needed two types of medication. Each twice a day. Puppies need human company. If you can’t provide what a pet needs then you shouldn’t have one.

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 18:32:51

But what a pet needs isn’t always as straightforward as you are making it out to be, and while I don’t disagree with your post in its entirety, the sort of ‘do this or don’t get a dog’ responses are aggressive and unhelpful, no matter how much they may be driven by the desire to help dogs.

Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 18:37:58

No I didn’t say do this or don’t get a dog. I said don’t get a puppy if you’re not prepared to be close to it if the puppy needs it. But not all puppies need this level of comfort. Re read what I wrote. My first did. My second doesn’t.

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 18:41:48

I have read it wolfie and tbh this is what I mean about being needlessly aggressive. Barking (no pun intended) at people to read what you wrote is effectively saying that you can’t possibly be wrong (and to reiterate what I’m saying, I don’t mean you are wrong just that there’s more than one way to fry an egg, if you like) and so posters are so stupid they didn’t read your post.

In fact as you will know experts in the canine world disagree about what the best thing is to do for dogs. In your example, it worked for you with Dog1, but if it hadn’t you could find yourself three years down the line still sleeping next to a crate, and this is what I mean about sometimes things not being healthy, for you or anyone else in the house.

Carolbaskinstiger Sat 27-Jun-20 19:01:38

@Wolfiefan oh come on - it’s not a case that “if someone isn’t prepared to sleep next to a crate for three week they shouldn’t have a puppy”

Jesus even the harshest of rescues wouldn’t have this as a caveat to adopting.

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 19:04:05

I’d drop the crate personally, some dogs just don’t like them - again, same as some babies don’t like slings.

Wolfiefan Sat 27-Jun-20 19:45:51

It’s not me. It’s behavioural experts. Leaving a puppy alone to cry simply reinforces that it’s scary to be alone.
Not all pups will need you to sleep by them. But if it’s not something that you would do if your pup needed it then you shouldn’t have a puppy.
What you should be prepared to do is your very best to meet the needs of your pet. If that means paying for daycare as it gets older or taking up agility to keep it happy then you should.

greentreesdream Sat 27-Jun-20 20:01:48

I’m not sure why you’re telling me this, because I haven’t said otherwise, but not all dogs will like crates.

Most dogs will however like sleeping near their human - or on them! As I said above, I’d lose the crate personally.

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